Can't Stop the Music

Jack Morell to the counter. Jack Morell to the counter!

Jack Morell!

Come. Be my guest at the front of the line.

Thanks, but I gotta go. This is crazy!

-Wait your turn. Wait your— -Mr. Schultz.

-Excuse me. -Can I talk to you for a second?

Look, if I ever needed to get off on time, tonight is the night.

It's practically life or death.

What do you mean?

As soon as we get these loonies out of here,

we are taking inventory.

Invent— Mr. Schultz, I can't tonight.

Ask me every Sunday for six months. Ask me Christmas.

But please, Mr. Schultz, not tonight.

If you're not here tonight, you are out of a job.

-But, sir, I have got an opportunity— -No inventory, no job.

Okay, Schultzy, have it your way.

But the next time you take inventory in here

you'll be counting the albums of Jack Morell.

Because I am a composer, not a schlepper salesman!

My time is now!

Whoa! Ah!

Fattening up for the miss piggy look-alike contest, huh?

Get out of here. For the first time in my life,

I can eat as much as I want to, and I intend to.

-Oh, yeah? Okay. -Yeah.

You may have given up your glamorous career, but mine is just beginning.

-What do you mean? -What do I mean?

You are looking at tonight's guest DJ at Saddle Tramps disco.

Benny Murray called me at the store. Their regular guy is sick.

The relief is lost somewhere on fire island, so I'll be working tonight.

-And it doesn't make a difference -Coming through!

-What doesn't make any difference? -Nothing. Nothing.

Don't worry about it. Nothing major. Either quit or was fired.

-Jack, what— -Sam, tonight I'm in show business!

Where I belong!

-What are you doing? -I have a heavy night. Take me home.

Leave me alone. I said leave me alone.

A fiery horse with speed of light, a cloud of dust

and a hearty "Hi ho, silver".

The lone ranger.

Hey, Felipe, what are you doing up there?

My TV broke. I crawled in the window. It's all right, isn't it?

Sure. Why not? This is neighborly New York.

Hey, Felipe, we're working together.

Benny made me guest DJ at the club tonight.

It's about time somebody's hip to your talent.

Yeah, it's a good thing he did. This one just got fired.

Quit.

Fired, quit. It still means the same thing: no income.

Sam! That's very materialistic.

Well, life is materialistic. I can't help it.

I didn't invent it. I'm just in it.

I didn't invent it. I'm just in it.

Hey, Sam! That's pretty good. Maybe I'll use it.

You scratch that counter, I'm charging you for it.

Sam, when the music money starts rolling in, I'll buy you ten counters.

I'll buy you a kitchen. I'll buy you a whole restaurant.

Okay, so remember me at royalty time.

Just what I need, a summer shower.

So? Do a rain dance.

Okay.

-It's talk time. -No talk time.

-Oh, yes, yes, yes. Talk time. -I need action, not words.

Look, you may have started out here as my house sitter,

but you've been here so long, you have achieved little brother status.

And I love you very much. I care what happens to your life.

Look, if you wanna get mushy

let's pretend you don't think of me as your little brother.

-Come on. I'm trying to be serious. -I know.

Look, I don't wanna sound like your mother.

You don't. She thinks I'm a musical genius.

-Jack. -Stop and listen.

-To what? -To me.

look, tonight Benny Murray is gonna see that I am merely fabulous.

He's gonna make me the full-time DJ.

Sam, don't you know what that means to me? it's everything.

I get to play my music, the people are gonna start collapsing,

and the big record companies are gonna come crawling!

Look, I've been telling you ever since I've known you that I'm fantastic,

that my music is good, and tonight I'm gonna prove it.

Look, if you don't like what I do,

if you don't like everything,

I'll go back to dental school like my father wants.

But you gotta give me a chance. that's all I'm asking for.

-You want this a lot, don't you? -Yeah.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I will come and listen to your music,

if you're telling me the truth about going back to school.

Deal.

Ready for another moment of truth?

Sure. Hit me.

The hose just leaked all over the rug.

Oh, no! It cost me a mint! Oh!

-Felipe, she's coming! -Great!

-Get the bike. I gotta get dressed. -Okay.

Oh, boy. One hot night coming up.

-Hey, I'll see you later. Gotta go change. I'll meet you at the club. -Okay.

Sam? I'll see you later.

Don't be late.

Dry, darling. Dry!

Stand up, fibers.

Oh, please. Come on. Nice little rug.

I just don't believe how they line up outside of Saddle Tramps.

Please. They line up to get into my dry cleaners.

I guess it's big apple psychology.

Oh, I'm sure.

Give me two brandys. See you later, babe. Hey, honey!

Hi, Felipe!

-Hey, Sam, how you doing? Hey, Alicia, you look great. -Thanks.

-Jack's in the booth. -How's it going?

I guess it's going okay. He hasn't played any of his stuff yet.

Oh, Mr. Murray.

That's too bad.

Benny Murray, I'd like you to meet Samantha Simpson and Alicia Edwards.

-Hey, I'll see you later. -All right. Ciao.

She's a top model.

-How do you do, miss Edwards? -Simpson.

Right! I've seen you plastered all over New York.

Well, don't spread it around.

This place is getting to be a regular studio 54.

-You know Halston, the big designer? -Mm-hmm.

His seamstress was here the other night with Calvin Klein's chauffeur.

Lots of biggies, you know?

How chic.

Relax. Boogie. Have yourself a good time.

Anything you need, just ask for Benny. That's what I'm here for.

hey, Felipe!

Sam!

Hey, take my purse and put it behind the bar.

I wanna dance!

You want somebody who's tall and blonde or short and dark?

-How about blonde? -Right here.

Oh, jeez! Blane! Hi!

Randy!

Hey!

-this will keep you in shape. -Jack!

Hey, Jack!

Hey, Jack!

Oh, wow! Super!

Hey!

Go on. Go on.

And focus. Get a focus.

Focus!

Can't let a famous face go unphotographed, you know. Ah!

Hi. This sure is more fun than dental school.

You are looking at a king in his castle.

See, these switches can lift, drop,

and change the disposition of everybody in here.

I should have known when the music went mad, it would be you at the controls.

Sam. Look at 'em.

They're happy. They're so happy.

They've forgotten everything that gets 'em down.

That's what it's all about, isn't it?

Music is magic.

I wanna make that magic.

Like this, for instance.

Oh, Jack. Oh!

Please, don't slobber on the star. I may get electrocuted.

Look. This is your number. Go dance.

You're going to be terrific. Don't let it go to your head.

Don't worry.

I can handle success a hell of a lot better than I can handle a root canal.

-Take over the next set for me, huh? -Sure.

Hey, your stuff is terrific.

Thank you, son.

Jack! Jack!

-Jack, you were wonderful. -Do you really mean it?

Yes! Absolutely. You should be recorded.

Now, how many songs do you have? I mean to show.

Oh, a lot. They're in various stages of completion,

-but it wouldn't take long. -How long?

I don't know.

Make me a really good demo tape and we'll take it to a record company.

-Sam, there's more to it than that. -Like what?

Like- Like it's impossible.

Look, nobody has time for anybody, and nobody gives new people a break.

This may come as a surprise to you,

but while you were flunking out of college,

I was dating and romancing some of the real biggies of the record industry.

-Mama has connections. -All right!

Sam, will you get that, please?

Hello.

Sam, I'm sorry to bother you,

but I am making this call under extreme duress.

I laugh, I cry, I go on welfare.

I am an unmarried, unemployed woman.

Lulu, what's the matter?

Sydne threatened to give me the sack unless I made this call.

Can you imagine that? Me who has given that sack the best years of my life?

Lulu, shut up and give me that phone!

Aah! Aah! Stop me!

How fat are you?

Enormous. I've blown up like the Hindenburg.

This is Sydne Channing, who only helped make you the biggest model of the '70s.

Come clean.

Sydne, darling, the '70s are dead and gone.

The '80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I.

Free, happy and content.

Contented. But that's perfect for the ad campaign for the American dairy association.

Cows?