The Sopranos

Mr. Soprano?

Yeah.

Have a seat.

My understanding from dr. Cusamano,

your family physician, is that you collapsed.

Possibly a panic attack.

You were unable to breathe.

Theysaid it was a panic attack...

'cause the blood work and neurological work came back negative.

And they sent me here.

You don't agree that you had a panic attack.

How are you feeling now?

Good.

Fine. Back at work.

What line of work are you in?

Waste management consultant.

Look, it's impossible for me to talk to a psychiatrist.

Any thoughts at all on why you blacked out?

I dunno. Stress, maybe.

About what?

I don't know.

The morning of the day i got sick, i'd been thinking.

It's good to be in something from the ground floor.

I came too late for that. I know.

But lately, i'm gettin' the feelin' that i came in at the end.

The best is over.

Many americans, i think, feel that way.

I think about my father. He never reached heights like me.

But in a lot of ways, he had it better. He had his people.

They had their standards. They had pride.

Today, what do we got?

Did you have these feelings of loss more acutely in the hours before you collapsed?

I don't know.

- A couple of months before,

these two wild ducks landed in my pool.

It was amazing. They're from canada or someplace, and it was matin' season.

They had some ducklings.

Here you go. Here you go.

My daughter's friend was there to drive my daughter, meadow, to school.

Meadow, your father with those ducks.

I know. The whole yard smells like duck poop. It's embarrassing.

Girls, you gotta have more than just cranberry juice. You need brain food.

Happy birthday! Thirteen. He doesn't act it.

The male and female duck made a home in your pool and did it.

- Eeew. Get outta here. - Disgusting.

Girls, you want some of last night'ssfogliatell?

- Get outta here with that fat. - One bite. - How do you stay so skinny?

Him with those ducks.

If you don't like that ramp, i'll build you another one. Maybe it's the wood.

Hey, kids, come here! They're trying to fly!

- Come here. The babies-- they're trying to fly. -

look! They're trying to fly.

National geographic, dad. Super.

You showed us yesterday. It's great!

Now, my wife feels this friend is a bad influence.

That's so cool you're gonna be able to come to aspen with my family at christmas.

Last year, i saw skeet ulrich.

As close as from where you're sitting. Oh, my god.

Miss meadow, we made a deal--

you keep your school grades up and you keep your curfew...

between now and christmas, then you get to go.

I know that.

Good morning, ladies. Hey, mr. Soprano.

We're late, dad. Hey! Happy birthday.

Thanks, dad.

You're gonna be home for anthony junior's birthday party, right?

Bird man, hello.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll get home early from work.

I'm not talking about work.

This isn't gonna work. I can't talk about my personal life.

Finish telling me about the day you collapsed.

I drove to work with my nephew, christopher. He's learning the business.

He's an example of what i was talking about before.

Did you call what's- his- name at triboro towers about the hauling contract?

I got home too late last night. I didn't want to wake the man up.

Did you get up early this morning and call? He's in his office by 6:00.

I was nauseous this morning. My mother told me i shouldn't even come in.

Bear in mind, this is a kid who just bought himself a $60, 000 lexus.

There's that guy mahaffey. Get out.

Yeah, right there next to the boo- boo in pink.

Back up.

My friend mahaffey. Pulling his taffy. Hello.

We saw this guy, and there was this issue of an oustandin' loan.

Can i stop you for a second?

I don't know where this story is going.

But there are a few ethical ground rules...

we should quickly get out of the way.

What you tell me here falls under doctor/patient confidentiality.

Except, if i was, uh-- if i was to hear,

let's say, a murder was to take place.

Not that i'm saying it would, but if--

if a patient comes to me and tells me a story where someone's going to get hurt,

i'm supposed to go to the authorities.

Technically.

You said you were in waste management.

- Environment. - Dr. Cusamano, besides being your family physician,

is also your next- door neighbor.

See what i'm saying?

I don't know what happened with this fellow,

i- i'm just saying.

Nothing. We had coffee.

- Help! -

security! Help! - Aw, shit!

- Asshole! -

tony! Wait up!

Security! Hey, security!

You all right?

My leg is broken! The bone's coming through.

Oh, let me see.

I'll give you a fuckin' bone, you prick! Where's my fuckin' money?

- So you had coffee. - Right.

- ...your fuckin' face, motherfucker! -

- what are you doing? Get over here! Get over here! - That's $3, 000. $3, 000.

Go ahead.

- Where's our fuckin' money? - I'll get the money.

I know you'll get the fuckin' money.

Know what you should get? A cork in your fuckin' mouth, 'cause you tell people...

i'm nothing compared to the people that used to run things.

I'm sorry! - You prick! -

i'm nothing?

Shut up!

What are you crying about? H. M. O.!

Huh? You're covered, you prick!

Degenerate fuckin' gambler.

Go on.

Next day, i had a breakfast meeting.

I was called in to consult by a garbage company i represent.

Big, what's the story with triboro towers?

The site manager wants to renew his contract with dick,

but this kolar sanitation--

another nationwide company.

The kolar brothers, some kind of czechoslovakian immigrants.

These polacks, they'll haul paper, plastic and aluminum...

for 7, 000 a month less than dick.

So they pay us 40 times the monthly for stealin' your stop.

That's the thing-- they won't.

He says if he can tell commie bosses in czechoslovakia...

to go fuck themselves, he can fuckin' tell us. Oh!

I give up. Fuckin' garbage business.

Yeah, i know. It's all changing.

Let me see what i can do.

Are you sure? You over your stomachache?

Oh, yeah. Good.

What are you doin' here? Hey.

Gabriella sends me down here for thecapicollo. Best in the area.

Hey, t, let me ask you something--

you used to go to school with a guy named artie bucco?

This situation came up. It involves my uncle.

I can't go into details on this one.

That's fine. But i will say this:

My uncle adds to my general stress level.

It's none of my business, but down at the club...

word is your uncle junior is gonna whack pussy malanga.

He's gonna do it at your friend artie bucco's restaurant.

Hey, boys. How are you?

Don't move. Uncle jun', how you doin'?

Hey, good to see you.

Hiya, chris. Hey, uncle junior.

I was just talking about you.

It's anthony junior's birthday dinner tonight?

Yeah. Don't buy anything big.

We overindulge him, okay?

Hey! Oh! Artie, how's your rash?

It's itchy. Come here.

Good to see you. Can you come over? Yeah. Have a seat.

You know what it means for arthur, one of these old mutts gets wet in here?

Yeah. It'll ruin his business.

You better sit down with your uncle.

Uncle junior's my father's brother.

Good guy. Just gettin' old. Cranky.

Used to take me to yankee games when i was a kid.

I love my uncle.

At the same time, when i was young,

he told my girl cousins i would never be a varsity athlete, and frankly,

that was a tremendous blow to my self- esteem.

Who's there? It's me, ma.

Who are you?

Ma, open the door.

Anthony? Yeah, it's me. Open the door.

Hi, how are you?

Geez, ma, get some air in here.

You lock the door after you?

Yeah. I did. Somebody called here last night after dark.

Who? You think i'd answer? It was dark out.

Ma, i'll never understand that.

The phone is an auditory thing. Dark is an eye thing.

I can understand not going out after dark,

but not answering the phone after dark?

Oh, listen to him. He knows everything.

You want some lunch? I got eggplant.

No. No. I just ate.

Know who i just ran into? Uncle jun'.

You think he ever comes to see his sister- in- law?

Yeah. Remember artie bucco?

Kid i went to elementary school with? Artie!

Oh! Yeah, i still see his mother.

She tells me he calls her every day.

Yeah. Well.

Uncle jun's gonna make a problem for artie.

Could affect his livelihood. What's that?