Rules of The Game

This programme contains some scenes of a sexual nature, some strong language

and scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

# Hi, girl

# Have you received it all?

# You know you don't have to say

# I will walk away now

# Now, did you forget about me?

# You don't have to say

# I know what you did

# Stop, please

# Try at least to care

# What's up with that guy?

# Don't you want to date them all?

# Right, sure

# You're the one to blame

# Face it, bitch, you lied to me

# I will kill your daddy... #

SIREN WAILS

Morning, everyone. Morning ma'am.

How many people screwed up my crime scene this morning, then?

Victim fell from the second floor.

And there's a note.

Back of the head smashed like a watermelon.

Never seen that before.

Right, then.

Who should I speak to first?

The guy in the shark onesie or the woman dressed as a unicorn?

I'll handle him. Where's the woman who found the body?

The COO. Name's Samantha Thompson.

What are you thinking?

Suicide?

Accident?

Start hauling people in for interviews.

What a mess.

Here. Come on.

Women like pills. Men like blowing their brains out.

Hanging's a bit of a leveller, but jumping...

No, that's for bridges and high buildings,

not for reception.

Something's off.

We all know it.

Now, if you're not involved, you have nothing to worry about,

I promise you.

But you HAVE to talk to me, Sam.

You have to trust me.

I want you to start at the beginning.

Can you do that for me?

The beginning.

# I may get weary

# Women do get weary... #

Sam!

# ..Wearing the same shabby dress ... #

You'll be late!

MUSIC CONTINUES IN HEADPHONES

Come on! Five more minutes.

Eat your breakfast or there'll be no swimming after school.

You, OK? Bit on edge.

New HR girl starts today. Where's Gemma?

She's started cycling.

Reducing fossil fuels.

You'd best be off. I'll handle this little demon.

See you. Agh!

One more mouthful

and then you can go and clean your teeth.

This is just a quick affirmation

that can be done any time anywhere.

I am enough.

I am enough.

I am all powerful.

I am all powerful.

I am...

Good morning, Fly Dynamic, how can I help you?

Maya? Hi.

So, well, this is a bit of a change for you,

from the Big Smoke to here.

I'm looking forward to the change of pace.

We have a unique family culture here at Fly Dynamic.

Most of us have been here since Owen and Gareth took over the business.

We started as a market stall, and now we rival JD Sports.

Thanks. I can't wait to join the ride.

You'll probably see a lot of activity

over the next few weeks, as we plan to go public

and float on the stock exchange.

I never thought when I started here at 16 that we'd go global.

16? You've never worked anywhere else?

We pride ourselves on our exceptionally low staff turnover.

That's not always a good thing.

What do you mean?

Well, the workforce can get stale.

"Institutionalised" we call it in HR.

But my speciality is identifying issues like this

and changing the work culture for the better.

We don't need to change the work culture.

You know, I'm just...

I'm just here to ensure the continued success of the company...

You're here because the bloke who had your job fucked up.

Don't do the same.

Looking for the ladies?

No, no, no, no. I'm just...

Just checking the quality of the mops in this cupboard.

Oh. One of the first things I like to do in a new work place.

Just this way, ladies and gents. Thank you.

Owen Jenkins. CEO of Fly Dynamic. Nice to meet you. I'm Maya.

Oh, and this is my brother, Gareth, our chief financial officer.

Hold on a sec, Carys. Hello. Great to meet you.

Sorry, I've just got to deal with my wife crying hysterically

about our daughter's first day at nursery.

Owen's sending Ness round

to pick you up before you start looking at baby pictures. I am?

Bye. Bye.

Our new gender neutral bathrooms are just round the corner,

second on the left. Thank you. Very nice to meet you, Maya.

Aw. Does it hurt?

I enjoy pain.

I like the feeling of the needle when it slides in.

All done. Any fillers for you today?

My 10am just cancelled so I've got plenty of time.

No, I'm good.

Carys, you're up next.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, Carys, come on. I'm paying.

Well, Owen is.

It's time to celebrate. Juno's at nursery,

you've got your life back.

Botox and a boozy pub lunch.

You'll feel like a new woman.

Might even spice things up.

Yeah, I don't think my nasolabial lines

are the reason my sex life is non-existent.

Oh, still?

Oh, it's only been a few months.

It's not...only been a few months.

What do you mean?

We've had problems for years. It's never been easy.

Well, that's just men.

It's the newness that turns them on.

Just ignore them completely

and then shag 'em like a porn star

just when they're starting to despair.

You're young.

You've got amazing tits. I'd do you.

Now, how's my face?

If any of our advisers had walked in on this,

we'd be eating shit right now.

Flotation would be over. I hope you realise this.

What were they thinking? To be fair, it's a new CCTV system.

They can't have been expecting an audience at that time of night.

I was expecting a few nicked pencils,

not the intimate view of a team member's penis.

Obviously, you didn't include the appropriate language

in the non-disclosure agreement. I'll add a "no shagging" clause.

Right, well, what's the next step?

I don't know. I don't even know why I'm running this company

half the time. What is an IPO?

Thanks for that helpful insight, Gaz. Let's run it through HR.

I'll get Duncan onto it. Why not the new girl?

It's going to have to go through her anyway.

Optics won't look good if we exclude her.

Look, we can't take the risk.

This is a critical time for the IPO... Don't!

Maya! Look, I'm sorry to do this to you on day one.

We need to talk about Tess Jones.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

KNOCK ON DOOR Tess! Get up!

I'm sick.

SHE SIGHS

If you can shag, you can work.

Up!

DOOR CLOSES

SHE SIGHS

Back at the fags. Hm-mm.

How's the new HR girl?

HR director.

Shiny.

What's that mean?

It means I would have preferred to have a man.

You hired her. Why did you do that, again?

Come on, Gaz. I didn't have a choice.

We had to have a woman,

especially after everything with Hugh and now with the floatation.

If you say so. Men are like unicorns in Human Resources.

She's got great references, a degree in psychology.

I mean, God knows what she's doing here, never mind HR.

You're the expert.

This company's roaring into

the 21st century since we promoted you, Sam.

20 years after everyone else.

Look, don't try and shag her

unless you want a lecture on feminism.

HR now!

You got any paracetamol?

Why do you do this to yourself?

Don't say anything I wouldn't. Come on.

Khalil, you're next.

Oh. Hi, Tess. I'm Maya. Nice to meet you.

I'll be sitting in. Oh... Actually, would you mind leaving us to it?

I understand I'm new, but, legally, we have to have confidentiality.

SHE SCOFFS

Thank you.

Don't say I didn't warn you.