Preacher

I was never in love with him.

I came here to get divorced.

That's what we were talking about. Getting divorced.

That's right. She's my wife, asshole.

- (GRUNTING) - Hey!

Jesse! Hey! Hey!

Jesse, don't! It's not his fault, okay?

You want to take it out on someone, take it out on me.

You picked the wrong guy, asshole.

Pat! Guys!

And we were done, remember?

After Dallas?

You left me.

Guys!

What the...

Damn it, Jesse.

What did you do?

Wait, where are you going?

Jesse. Jesse.

Jesse Custer, you cannot do that to him.

Jesse...

Viktor!

All right, I get it. You're mad.

I should've told you I was married.

I should've said something.

But it wouldn't have been an issue if we hadn't come to New Orleans.

Jesse?

Jesse, I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry.

Hurting him is not gonna fix anything.

So stop.

Are you listening to me? You can't do this.

It was me, Jesse. It was my fault.

He didn't do anything wrong.

I mean it.

You can't do this.

Stop, you crazy-ass son of a...

Get out.

Remember Dallas, Jesse.

I don't wanna do that again.

No!

Come on. What is it?

The baby. The baby.

You like John Wayne?

You don't?

I think he's kind of patriarchal.

What does that mean?

We did a section on him in my Oppositional Gender Studies class.

And, like, the only women you see in all of his movies

need to be saved because they're about to get raped

by, like, indigenous peoples or they're, like, cooking biscuits. (SCOFFS)

You know, I think John Wayne's real respectful to women.

Yeah, in, like, a patriarchal kind of way.

Tulip!

Reggie.

- Hey, you. - Hey.

Oh, look. Cowboys.

Mmm-hmm.

Come on, guys.

If y'all are gonna smoke in here, at least open a window.

Sorry, Tules. My bad.

And, Reggie, we have a dinner guest coming, so...

- What're we having? - Who?

Dany. I told you.

No. We, the invited guests, are having peanut butter pot roast.

In, like, half an hour, so yeah.

Awesome.

But I have, like, a bit of a nut allergy, so is it, like...

You're not invited, Reggie.

Oh, man.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Like, my night is stacked.

I've got Netflix out the ying-yang, so...

Later, bro. See you, T.

You maybe wanna take a shower?

All of, like, North America would appreciate it.

Why is Dany coming to dinner?

Because she's our friend and we miss her.

We do?

A realtor?

Well, not yet.

I print stuff out, get supplies and, you know, put out the "For Sale" signs...

So, a realtor's assistant?

Um, I don't really have a title yet.

Take in the "For Sale" signs...

Hmm.

Rewarding. Like working the Mars program at NASA.

Mmm.

And Jesse's got a bartending job.

And they love him.

He's already got, like, two night shifts.

So we're good.

Right?

Mmm-hmm.

How are you, Dany?

My dog died.

So when are you two coming back to work for me?

We're not.

I didn't know you had a dog.

I don't. It died.

As of now, here's what I've got going that's worth doing.

An insurance scam in Santa Fe.

Grab and burn, but the gallery's in on it, so, easy.

Connected guy in New Orleans looking for some general sub-contract stuff. And then,

if you're asking, my first choice,

there's this little Jew bastard down in Houston...

- No. - Hold on. Let me finish.

No way. Absolutely not.

You know what he said to me the other day?

Do you know what he said?

We are not killing your husband, Dany. You know we don't do that.

Not doing any of that anymore.

Right.

If that's why you've come back here, you've wasted your time.

How's your food?

Well, this, I can't eat.

Or this or this.

Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry. Is...

Is that a Jewish thing?

It's a human being thing. It's disgusting.

Look, I get it.

Things went sideways on your last job and it threw you.

But this is not the answer.

This is what you do.

Better than almost anyone else I know.

Not anymore.

People change.

What? No, they don't.

Okay, then.

Forgive me if I don't stay for dessert.

I'm angry enough as it is.

Dany? Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

Any news on Carlos?

If I hear anything, I'll let you know.

Meantime, you say you're moving on,

so move on.

You've got houses to sell.

- Ready? - Mmm-hmm.

Okay.

What are you doing with that stool?

Holding it.

What are you doing with that beer?

Drinking it.

Huh.

Till the end of the world, right?

Till the end of the world.

Hey. Asshole.

Hey, hey, hey. Talking to you.

Let's go. I don't have all day.

No, you don't.

Yay! Look, it's my friend, Cassidy.

- Who's this? - This is my stepdaughter, Allie.

She's had a rough day, so I thought it would be fun if she'd come hang with us.

Oh, yeah, right. Well, we... We do fun like nobody's business.

Yeah, we sure do.

Now, you just sit right there,

and I was thinking, I don't know, comfort food?

And I got just the thing.

You having a bit of a rough day?

Pretty much. Her boyfriend's killing my dad.

No. They're just talking.

- Right, Cassidy? - Oh, yeah, that's right.

If it's the Jesse Custer I know,

he's gonna be talking his bloody ears off.

So to speak.

Now who here thinks Boo Berry is just the best?

- Me. - That's just chemicals.

No, it's not.

Boo Berry's awesome.

Okay, well, it's all right.

No, come on. We're gonna have to see what else we have.

We have, my God, a lot of potted meat.

We have a box of plastic forks, we've got some kosher green lentils...

Is that man dead?

What? Oh, shite.

No, that's just Denis.

Maybe Allie could go watch TV with Denis while you and me talk, huh?

That's a great idea. Denis'd love that.

- But I don't want to... - Yeah, I'm sure you don't.

Just take the lentils. Brilliant.

There you go. On your way.

Now, what happened?

Bollocks! Ouch.

You told him!

But what was I supposed to do?

You were supposed to not tell him!

Now, just hang on a second.

Ow!

You told me you pissed off your mobster husband,

you just disappeared off into the middle of the night,

and you stopped answering my texts. I was worried about you!

"Worried", right. Sure.

What?

"Tulip, I feel bad.

"Oh, Tulip, I don't like keeping secrets from my mate."

- No, wait a minute. That's true. - Like it's moral.

Like you're a good guy.