Saps at Sea

Horn! Horn!

Little horn! Big horn! Little horn!

Aah! Oh, ooh, ha ha!

That's the fourth guy that's cracked up this week.

What did you say?

I say that's the fourth man that had a nervous breakdown.

That's right.

The "g" -minor horn always gets them.

Make this a "g" -minor!

Yes, sir.

What?

I say, "were the others all right?"

Just fair.

Put that thing down.

Well, I've got to blow me horn.

And cut that thing off! It makes me nervous!

Doesn't this noise bother you?

No, it just goes in this ear and out of the other.

Don't bother me a bit.

Haven't you got it fixed yet?

No, I haven't got it fixed yet!

And furthermore, I'm not gonna fix it!

Horns to the right of me!

Horns to the left of me!

Horns all over me!

That's it!

Stop him! Horns!

Horns! Horns!

Get --

There, there, there. Come, come, come, come.

Calm yourself, young man. Calm yourself.

Put that down!

Your nerves are all jangled.

I'd advise you to go home immediately

and call your doctor.

That's just exactly what I'll do.

Come, Stanley. Oh.

Thank you.

Come on, and let's go!

Come on!

Back to work, everybody!

You drive. I'm too nervous.

Don't do that.

Stop it!

Stop that noise!

You better put the top up.

Hey, what are you guys trying to do?!

Hey, why don't you guys look where you're doing?!

Well, that's better.

What are you tip-toeing about?

You don't have to be so quiet.

I'm not tip-toeing.

Well, what are you walking like that for?

Well, I've got a nail in me shoe.

Well, sit down and take it out.

Here, you answer it.

Hold it a minute.

Hello?

Hello? This is Dr. Finlayson.

Oh, just a minute.

Hello?

Hello!

Hello?

Hello! This is Dr. Finlayson!

We must have been disunconnected.

Hello?

Hello? This is Dr. Finlayson.

Is this the home of Mr. Hardy?

Uh-huh.

Unh-unh.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Unh-unh.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Goodbye.

Who was it?

It was the doctor.

Well, what did he say?

He say he'd be up here in about a quarter of an hour

or 15 minutes.

As quick as he could get here.

What have you got in this thing?

Nothing.

Well, what good is an ice bag without ice in it?

Well, we haven't any ice.

Well, put some cold water in it so I can put it in my head!

All right.

Oh!

Aah!

See what that is!

I just called to see how Mr. Hardy is.

Ooh!

What's the big i--

Shh.

Good morning, doctor. Good morning.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

Now, if there's anything I can do, let me know.

Thank you very much.

Come on, dear.

Do you want a banana, darling?

Yes, thank you. Right here.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Come up and see me again sometime.

I will. Thank you.

All right, let's see.

Mm-hmm.

Let me see your tongue.

Hmm.

Oh!

Oh!

Where can I get some water?

Right in the sink. Help yourself.

Hmm.

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Mama!

Aah!

Put that thing down!

You nearly had me scared to death.

I will now test your lungs.

Lie flat on your back and relax.

Yes, sir.

What's that?

It's my own invention -- The lung tester.

90 is normal.

If you go above that, anything can happen.

Here, hold this.

Now, put this in your mouth.

Yes, sir.

Put that thing down! Give me a hand!

No, no, no, no, no.

Just do exactly as I was doing.

Come on.

How do you feel?

Phew.

Sit there.

Oh.

What seems to be the matter with me, doctor?

Just as I suspected, a severe case of horniphobia.

"Horniphobia"?

Yes. You're allergic to horns.

In fact, your on the verge of hornimania.

Ha.

What you need is a complete rest --

Plenty of peace and quiet --

And a strict diet of goat's milk.

Do ghosts have milk?

Not ghosts -- goat!

G-o-oat -- goat!

Now, take a nice, hot bath and relax.

Where can I go to get some rest?

Well, you could take a nice ocean voyage --

Plenty of fresh sea air.

I'll go for the bath, all right,

but you'll not get me out on any ocean.

Well, that's my advice -- Take it or leave it.

I don't give a continental.

Remember, when you try to fool your doctor,

you're only fooling yourself.

And another thing --

Oh!

Ow!

Well?

Guess you'll have to take the doctor's advice.

You heard what he said.

If you don't, you're just fooling himself.

You can talk from now until doomsday,

but you're not gonna get me out on the ocean,

hornimania or no hornimania.

Just trying to help you.

Say, you know what?

Pardon me.

I just thought of something.

We don't have to go way out on the ocean to get sea air.

What do you mean?

Well, we can rent a boat, we can live on it,

and we don't even have to leave the dock --

Get all the sea air we want.

Going on the ocean's silly.

Wouldn't that be fooling the doctor?

Well, you can fool the doctor some of the time,

but you can't fool the doctor part of the time

because you'll only be fooling yourself all of the time.

What do you think?

That's exactly what we'll do.

Good.

Now you can take a nice, hot bath and relax,

and the doctor won't have to give you a continental.

Right.

He didn't want to in the first place.

You hit the nail right on the head.

And while I'm taking my bath, you clean up this room.

Okay.

I thought they were gonna fix the plumbing in this room!

But it has been fixed, Mr. Hardy.

Let me speak to the plumber.

Yes, sir.

Plumber: Hello?

Hello? Are you the man that fixed the plumbing in this room?