Sweetpea

People I'd love to kill...

Manspreaders.

I mean, yeah, that's what he said to me.

Donna in the minimarket.

He was saying.

Who is never happy to help.

All up in my face.

You've got an alligator in your garden, and what?

- How big is it? - Norman from work.

No, I can't put that on the front page!

For failing to acknowledge my potential.

Jeff from work.

For having zero spatial awareness.

Night!

Actually, everybody at work.

People who have sex with you and then only reply

To your texts with emojis.

My sister, Seren, for leaving me on read, on my phone,

And in my life in general.

Our mum, for leaving

And forgetting to tell us where she went.

And forever at the top of my list,

Julia Blenkingsopp.

- Did you hear Rhiannon died? - Oh, no. I, I didn't...

Who subjected me to a relentless campaign

Of psychological abuse.

Eroding my self-worth and general context in the world.

Oh, my God, do you smell that? It smells like decay!

She's so weird.

Julia Blenkingsopp,

For making me pull so much of my hair out

That I had to wear a wig.

Julia Blenkingsopp,

For turning me into a ghost.

Making me forever invisible, and afraid.

And I'd kill my dad for dying.

And leaving me to deal with everything alone.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad... Nurse! Nurse! Oh, excuse me!

- I pulled out the wire. - You prick!

No, you're too easy.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Right.

- Got you some bits. - Yes!

Give me my... knife, would you?

Yeah...

- Here we go. - Thanks.

- What happened there? - Oh, just tea.

Jeff, uh, bumped into me. It was an accident.

You let people take the piss.

You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

- I know. - Ah, don't just say you know.

Do it.

I'm serious, Rhiannon.

Don't let people walk all over you.

Make 'em see you, how you are.

How special you are.

Just be more...

You're trying to kill me.

You sound worse.

Has anyone been in to see you today?

I told you, someone will be with you

As soon as they're available.

- Excuse me? - Come on!

It will take you two minutes!

- Sorry, can I, um... - This isn't good enough.

- I pay for your fucking wages! - Oh! Can I have a raise then?

My mate wants a mini trifle,

So he should get a mini fucking trifle!

Sorry, I, I just need, um...

Hey, I'm talking to you!

- Hi, excuse me? - Fine, I'll do it myself then...

And myself...

My dad...

for being so helpless without him.

He's crashing...

Letting him down, again.

People I'd love to kill...

Everyone.

You look nice.

Tommy will be so missed

And not just by the people whose extensions

He didn't finish before he fell ill.

Oh, what time do you call this?

As I was saying,

- Tommy will be missed. - Hi.

But he'll be missed most by his family.

- I thought you weren't coming. - The flight was delayed.

Daughter Seren, mother to his only grandchild, Noel.

Son-in-law, Xavier. Daughter and carer, Rhian.

That's not my name.

And not to mention his dedicated employees,

Andrew, Craig, and Shaun,

Whom he saw as family.

And all the other friends, colleagues and clients,

Who have come to say goodbye one final time.

And now, to play Tommy out of this life

And onto whatever awaits,

Is a cover of a song by his favorite artist,

Bruce Springsteen.

Because Tommy was "A Boss" too.

Literally. He ran a limited company

And employed three other people.

I told him to say that.

Tommy, this one's for you, carefully chosen by...

Rhian.

That's actually quite nice.

He said he'd haunt me if I didn't.

- Thank you. - Oh, uh...

- Sorry for your loss. - Thank you.

- Very sorry. - Thank you.

- Thanks. - So sorry, Rhian.

Uh, it's actually...

Rhiannon.

- So sorry. - Yeah.

What is she doing here?

She moved back. She wanted to pay her respects.

Oh, Julia!

Um, excuse me?

There are a lot of dirty glasses on our table.

Oh.

Okay. Um...

Hi, Aunty Brenda, it's...

Rhiannon? Tommy's daughter.

Are you the one that lives in France?

No. That's Seren. I'm just...

Here.

So, you don't work here?

No.

- She doesn't work here. - Oh, no, really?

- Oh, sorry. - Oh, steady on.

- Oh, hi. Hi. - Oh. Hi.

Uh...

It was really nice of you to come.

No, yeah, like, obviously.

You know, Tommy was like...

Yeah.

- Anyway... - So, how have you been?

- Sorry, what's that? - Sorry.

I was just asking how you've been.

Uh...

I've been pretty sad actually.

Yeah...

Yeah, me too.

Anyway, um, it was good to see you.

- Yeah. - I should deliver these.

Or maybe we could get coffee or something, sometime?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay. I mean, you've got my number, so...

Yeah, but, um, I don't know if it's working?

- Does it end in 2-7-4? - Yeah, that's the one.

Cool.

Do you want anything?

- No, thanks. - No, thanks, babes.

I'll get, uh, red wine...

At school, she made me think I'd died

And was just a ghost in uniform.

Ah? What's that?

Nothing. - I should...

It was good seeing ya.

Bye.

- You all right? - Mm.

- Here we go. - Julia.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers, mate.

Sorry.

I got 'em to do mini scotch eggs especially.

I only eat meat when I'm menstruating.

Oh, come on, it's a special occasion.

Rhiannon, can you stop waving meat in my face?

Oh, sorry. Didn't see you.

There are like, zero vegetarian options.

Who the fuck eats iceberg lettuce?

You should have a word with whoever did the food,

looks like an impoverished child's birthday party.

Yeah, Rhiannon, did you even send them

My dietary requirements?

Oh, my God, hi! It's been so long, hasn't it?

I mean, I haven't seen you since school!

So long ago.

We're all so different now, aren't we?

So how are you?

What have you been up to?

Rhiannon?

My dad died.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Julia!

What?

Pidge wants some chipolatas.

Excuse me.

Stop being weird.

Were you just gonna go?

I did look for you.

It was nice to catch up.

Yeah, I haven't seen the girls for ages!

They're all going for a reunion drink at SQR tomorrow.

You should go.

Are you joking?

What?