Puzzle

Subtitles by explosiveskull

- (GRUNTS) - (PLATE SHATTERS)

- Are you having fun? - Oh.

Great time.

- Thanks, babe. - I'm glad.

We're gonna go outside and have a smoke.

I'll call you for cake.

(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING IN OTHER ROOM)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

What's going on?

There is a piece missing from the plate.

I don't want anyone to step on it.

Come on, Agnes. Come on, stand up.

Not during the party.

Come on.

Not tonight.

You're so cute.

(MUFFLED MUSIC AND CHATTER CONTINUE IN OTHER ROOM)

(APPLAUSE, WHISTLING AND WHOOPING)

(HUMMING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU")

AGNES (WHISPERING): Seven. Six.

Five. Four.

- Three. Two. - (SNORING)

One.

Five. Four.

Three. Two.

One. Now.

- (ALARM STOPS) - (SNORING CONTINUES)

Lou.

Honey.

Louie.

Huh?

Time to get up.

What?

Time to get up.

: Five more minutes.

LOUIE (GRUNTS): Five more minutes.

- (WHISPERS): Please. Please.

Five more minutes.

Ten more minutes, Mom. I swear. (SIGHS)

All right, Mom, everything's set up.

What kind of apps do you think you want?

- Apps? I don't want apps. - Hey, which, uh...

which grit did you use on your final sanding?

I don't want that phone. You take it.

- Mine's perfectly fine. - You're seriously quizzing me

- over breakfast? - It's not a quiz.

What about The Weather Channel?

I just saw you using 1,200 the other day,

- and that's never gonna work. - I have a radio and a window.

- I know when it's gonna rain. - Look, Dad, I don't want

to talk about this at home. I need a break.

Okay, well, you'll get a break once you get it all right.

All right. Uh, well, I put my number

and put Ziggy's and Dad's on speed dial.

Whose else do you think you want?

Do you need any help with breakfast, Mom?

- No, sweetie. - You want Ezster

and the church ladies or what?

Okay, fine, so what, I should've used the 400?

I don't know why I just wouldn't call them

- on the home phone. That or the six.

Can someone please explain to my mother

why she has to stop living in the 20th century?

You even gonna use it, Mom?

I guess I might use it like my old phone.

Thank you. - For emergencies.

Mom, look.

Just try it. You can Google something.

You can Google recipes or Bible study or whatever.

Literally everything in the world is on this one device.

- Look. - No. No.

Just type it into here.

It's like carrying a little robot in your purse.

- (LOUIE LAUGHING) - Or a little alien robot friend.

I don't need it.

Clearly, it doesn't need you, either.

Hey.

Let's say grace.

Ziggy.

Montreal.

- Oh. - (TIRES SQUEALING)

- (HORN HONKING) - Sorry. I'm sorry.

I know. Sorry.

There you go.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

No, don't.

Mom, it's like a thousand pieces.

Oh, it didn't take me very long.

What's going on?

Nothing. Mom just did a puzzle.

Dinner is almost ready.

Hey, aren't you gonna change?

Mom asked me to set the table.

In those filthy clothes? Come on.

It's okay. I'll do it.

Mmm.

- The chicken is stuffed with garlic. - Mom, Nicki.

I thought you just didn't eat red meat.

I'm vegan.

We, uh... we went through this already, Mom.

So you never, ever eat chicken?

She's, like... she's hoping you're gonna forget.

It's so embarrassing.

I should have made fish.

- I'm sorry. No, Mom, she...

she doesn't eat any animals.

But she has to have protein. She's still growing.

Mom, don't say dumb shit like that.

Hey. Enough, okay?

Honestly, it's fine. I can...

I can eat the salad and bread.

I'll be fine.

Have you always been this way?

Uh, Nicki is, um... she's also a Buddhist.

Well, that sounds interesting.

You know, I have no idea

what that really means... "Buddhist."

I always hear people talking about Buddhism and celebrities,

but nobody says what it is.

Okay. Well, um...

so the root of all suffering

is our desire not to suffer,

so we have to give up on the idea of being happy.

You're okay with not being happy?

Yeah, I try not to think that way.

Happiness is an illusion.

Um, I read this thing

about this kid who drowned in a river

because the only person watching him

was this Buddhist monk, and if you're Buddhist,

you're not supposed to save anybody's life.

You're not supposed to, like, interfere with their path.

- Why can't Buddhists save lives? Oh!

Where'd you... where'd you read that?

It was an article.

It was, like, a... like, a real article

on, like, Huffington Post or something.

Um, yeah, that's not Buddhism.

Yeah, well, that monk should be shot.

- Dad. - Louie.

No, he's right.

I mean, metaphorically, of course.

Yeah.

You know, metaphorically.

I get it.

I don't know what to do about Ziggy.

He's lazy.

Agnes, are you listening to me?

Shh. Lower your voice.

What are you reading?

Puzzle instructions.

Don't you just put all the pieces together

till you run out?

What other instructions do you need?

Strategies, suggestions.

Doesn't matter. (SIGHS)

You know...

only children play with puzzles, Agnes.

I don't think he's lazy.

He just sits there until I tell him to do something.

I mean, he does it when I tell him, but...

he's got no initiative.

All day.

What?

Huh?

You were looking at me with, like, some kind of...

like, some kind of look in your eye.

No, I wasn't.

I know you, Agnes.

- There was no look. - (SIGHS)

- Say it. - There was no look.

You know, I turned down a doughnut today.

Okay? A jelly doughnut.

You know how hard that is for me?

You should be very proud of yourself.

I am.

And I cut back on smoking, too.

And cholesterol... I mean, that's hereditary.

It's not my fault.