Tojima Wants to Be a Kamen Rider (東島丹三郎は仮面ライダーになりたい)

Rider Punch!

I've always loved Kamen Rider,

ever since I was a kid, because to me,

he was a hero unlike any other.

Come on.

Don't you want to watch something else?

No! This show is the coolest.

Go, Rider!

Hurry!

You can't let Shocker win!

All right.

It's time for me to head off to work now, honey.

I left something for you to eat on the table.

OK?

OK.

And if you get lonely--

Jump!

Kick!

He's so brave,

fighting the forces of evil all by himself!

Rider Kick!

He protects the world's peace

with a heart full of justice!

And one day, I will, too!

I wanna be Kamen Rider!

I'm, uh, still kind of confused.

I wanted privacy.

For what?

Mm.

I have a crush on you!

Will you go out with me?

Ah!

- OK! Do we start now? - Just kidding!

Ah! Ah!

Tough luck!

Huh?

Emily's too busy being my girl these days.

But thanks for playing.

She lost a bet, and her punishment

was confessing to you!

Hey, where are you going?

It was just a joke.

What a buzzkill, huh?

You wanna play Rider?

Yeah, let's do it!

I'm Rider this time.

If you win Rock, Paper, Scissors.

sure.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot!

Oh, yeah! I get to be Rider, which makes you all bad!

You must have cheated somehow!

Winning Rock, Paper Scissors

doesn't make you Kamen Rider.

It's not pretend.

Not to me!

I'm dead serious!

Tojima, wait!

Huh?

I knew I would find you out here.

I'm sorry for what I did.

And I just, um--

I really am sorry.

It's fine.

No worries.

There's something about you, Tojima.

I can't put my finger on it,

but you're not what I would call normal.

I mean, you go to a school full of delinquents,

yet you seem pretty far from a rule breaker.

And you don't have any friends.

People spot you here by the river from time

to time, too, shouting to the sky.

Henshin!

Mm.

It's clear you aren't like other guys.

You're much more mysterious.

Well, well, well.

Wasn't expecting to run into Kitagawa's girlfriend.

Or should I have said his ex-girlfriend?

But this dweeb can't be a rebound.

Have some self-respect.

Why not try dating me instead?

Why not try breath mints?

Let's get out of here, Tojima.

Sassy!

Huh?

Huh?

Let go of her.

Ah! Asshole!

You'll pay for that!

Ah!

You first.

What?

You are-- ugh!

OK, you asked for it!

My turn.

You could have held back.

They got the same thing they gave.

That's all.

This-- this isn't over.

Tojima!

Weird little freak, get your dweeb ass down here!

I ain't got all night!

You didn't just pick a fight with me yesterday.

You picked a fight with Daikon High!

This is war!

Now show yourself, prick!

Finish what you started!

Or don't you care about your precious Emily?

Guess they want Tojima.

What the hell did he do?

Of course, this happens

when Kitagawa's gang skips.

Where are the teachers?

Someone just called the cops.

Tojima!

I told you that you were gonna pay.

And now you owe double for making a fool out of me!

Bunch of dumb teenagers fighting in the yard?

That's your idea of war?

Huh?

Kids like you love having showdowns with other schools

and bragging about rising to the top.

Then you go home to hot meals, fresh baths, and warm beds

that Mommy and Daddy provide.

You don't even hold your own job!

And you wanna talk war?

Have you no shame?

You all wanna fight?

Fight the evil out there!

I wasn't gonna to kill you,

but now, your dweeb ass is dead!

Let's go!

Oh, Emily.

How about I take you home with me today?

No!

Somebody, please do something!

Tojima!

Round two!

Let's go!

There's no way!

You're really forcing my hand.

I never wanted to use this power against you, but oh well.

Are those tattoos?

Da-da-da!

Rider...

Ring Henshin!

Pew, pew, pew, pew!

Rider Fight!

Wait, what do you mean "henshin"?

Weirdo.

What are you?

I'm Kamen Rider!

Calling us kids when you're the moron who thinks

that he's Kamen Rider?

So you're actually insane, huh?

Rider Punch!