French Kiss

Welcome to Air Canada nonstop service,

Toronto to Paris.

Our flying time today

is an estimated 7 hours, 20 minutes.

Please check that your seat belt is fastened

and that your chair back is in the upright position.

We'll be taking off shortly.

Kate?

Yes?

Are you prepared to have a pleasant flight?

Yes.

Tell me, Kate, what are you thinking about?

Twisted steel.

Ball of fire.

A naked baby screaming for his mother.

Kate, what happened to your little stone cottage?

Picture it now.

O.K.

O.K.

Ohh, my God!

And don't forget your takeoff mantra.

What are the words you chant softly in your head?

We're going down! We're going down!

We're going down! We're going down!

Kate...

O.K.

O.K.

O.K.

Hello? Hello?

I really think you gave me the wrong mantra.

Oh?

I don't love Paris, I don't like the French,

and I don't want to go on this trip.

Oh...God, no!

Kate,you can do this.

I can't do this!

I don't belong on this airplane!

Let me out of here!

I don't want to die!

Who-ohhh!

Kate, your full refund.

Thank you.

You can get the money back

on my ticket.

Money's not the issue, Kate.

I wanted you to come with me to exper--what?

Is that them?

I don't want to see my family tonight.

You never do.

Have you noticed how, since we're engaged,

they don't knock anymore?

They love you.

My family gives me

an unsigned birthday card.

Kate, come with me.

I'll give you 10 milligrams of Valium,

a shot of Stoli,

and we'll be there before you know it.

How can you not want to go to Paris?

You're a history teacher.

Shame on you.

Charlie, the French--

You know they hate us.

They smoke.

They have a whole relationship

to dairy products, which I don't understand.

Kate, something's wrong

with the cable!

Is the box set on three?

A week in Paris with the man you love?

Suture demonstrations.

Midnight strolls?

Medicare meetings.

The Eiffel Tower.

The Eiffel Tower...

I'd love to see the Eiffel Tower.

O.K. then.

Great.

I'm not supposed to leave the country

Until my immigration interview.

I'm taking that.

No, no. No,you're not.

Make something up.

Tell them your cousin Bridget

fell in the Seine.

They'll find out

I have no cousin Bridget

and deport me.

Like the one time I smoked pot--

I didn't want to,

I had a horrible time,

and Ronny Templeton's little brother

called the police, and we got arrested.

The one time I ever did anything illegal.

Bure drops it in...

They put cheese on both pizzas.

Herb, this is you-- you didn't check

Take it back

You know Kate hates cheese.

I'll pick it off.

Here's a list of stuff I want.

Forget it. Kate's not going.

- I'm not going. -Why not?

Is it the French thing?

No, it's the flying thing.

It's not the French thing or the flying thing.

I'm not supposed to travel

until my Canadian citizenship clears.

Hon, we got to move it.

Oh, Kate, I almost forgot--

The Merediths

have put their house on the market.

Why are we looking at a house we can't afford?

Charlie, there's something I have to tell you.

Since I turned 21,

I've been putting money aside every week

into a savings account,

which I then rolled into high-yield term deposits

Wh-what are you talking about?

I've made us a nest egg.

How many eggs?

45,782 eggs.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

It's a surprise.

It's a big surprise.

So, with a little help from your parents,

we could probably afford this.

My whole life is passing before my eyes,

and we don't even have children yet.

Hey.

Huh?

Hey.

Come to Paris with me.

Hi. Right on time.

Saved me from the news.

Bonsoir, chérie.

Hey. Hi, how's it going?

Good. It's just one conference after another,

But this city-- it's amazing, Kate.

It's so beautiful, it just casts a spell.

How was dinner?

Mmm! They used this sauce--

It had a taste I never experienced.

C'était incroyable.!

The sauces have to be incroyables

to cover up the horse meat.

I saw this segment on 60 minutes...

You keep watching all those

you'll never leave the house.

Hey!

Hey. I can't talk

I'm with the guys at this hip club.

I can't hear you.

Sweetie pie, we need to talk about the house.

I promise you, tomorrow.

I got to go, hon. Love you. bye.

I talked to the broker

and told her we are ready to make an offer

as soon as I talk to Charlie.

You guys are crazy.

I'm never buying a house

or anything else worth anything.

Why not?

Because you think you own something like that,

when, really, it winds up owning you.

It becomes your life,

and then one night,

someone leaves their cigarette,

and it all burns.

Honey, hello?

Kate? Kate?

Yeah, it's me, Charlie.

Are you all right? Is something wrong?

No...yeah... something's happened.

What? Wh-What's wrong?

Oh, Kate... Kate, I'm just...

I'm just so happy, you know?

I'm just so happy

and so...

fucked up.

I fucked up, definitely.

Uh, but it's destiny, Kate.

That's what it is.

Wha-What are you saying? What's destiny?

Destiny...oh, Kate. Well, I met this woman,

this apparition, this goddess.

Goddess?

It's french for "goddess,"

and so is she. She's French.

I've never, ever felt this way before.

I feel I could do anything.

I could rule the world,

climb the highest mountain.

I could walk into a men's room and pee,

even with some big guy waiting behind me.

Wha-What? What are you saying?

Charlie, are you, uh...

Kate, I'm not coming back

I'm in love...Kate.