Fast Company

All right, outta sight, go, go, and go!

It is time for the final round of the funny car eliminators...

at the annual Edmonton International Speedway-

I tell you what-in the left lane we've got the nitro-breathin' FastCo Firebird...

driven by Billy 'The Kid' Brooker.

This is Billy's second year as a funny car driver,

but he's young, he's fast and he's brash.

He'll do everything he can...

to keep up with the seasoned veterans of the funny car wars.

In the right lane, number one in the Pacific Northwest right now,

Gary "The Blacksmith" Black!

They're creeping up on the line.

They're pre-stage. They're stage.

They're gone!

All right, we've got our winner!

It's Gary Black, and he smokes through the quarter mile at 218 miles an hour,

and he gets an E.T. of 6.63.

Now, that is smokin', folks!

Billy, better luck next time. I know you're gonna be back.

Get outta here.

You're getting a little too much wheel spin off the line.

Take it easy when you drop the hammer next time, Billy boy.

I thought I'd get that whole shot on him, you know.

He's usually geared up pretty high. Yeah.

- Didn't work out. - You did all right anyway.

Hey, Elder, you're teaching the kid some of Lonnie Johnson's tricks.

All that smoke, man.

Pretty. Just don't win races.

Hey, Gary, give me a few more runs. All right?

Then you'll be suckin' my pipes.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Been civil chattin' to ya... meathead.

Go ahead.

So you're the girl that's gonna be Miss FastCo, right? Yeah.

My name's Candy.

You must be Lonnie Johnson's mechanic.

No, no, no. I'm Billy the Kid. I drive a funny car.

That fun machine right there.

That one? Yeah, that's the one.

It's beautiful.

Let me guess whether I'm right or not.

You're waiting for the Lonnie Johnson double-A top fuel machine.

And listen, the current standing has Lonnie Johnson...

at number 18,

but I'd say tonight Lonnie Johnson is number one in your hearts!

What do you say, fans?

Hey, man. How's it goin'?

Good, good. You got a car yet, or you still riding a bicycle?

All right, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to get serious now...

at Edmonton International Speedway.

It is the first elimination round of these incredible double-A top fuel machines.

Now in the right lane I want you to welcome, driving the Wheeler Dealer car,

that's Terry Koepp down there!

All right!

Now in the left lane, a man-

You'd better watch that left foot of yours off the line.

You got a lot more horses back there than you ever had before.

Lucky Man”, Lonnie Johnson!

Now, listen, Lonnie's always a crowd pleaser and tonight is no exception,

because tonight the Lucky Man fueler is running for the first time anywhere-

the Lonnie Johnson-designed quadra-vane blower.

For those of you who aren't mechanically inclined,

I'll just say for now that the quadra-vane blower is a brand-new concept in supercharging...

brought to you by the good people at FastCo.

And it is reputed to increase the power of the FastCo power plant...

by 16% over its normal 2,000 horsepower.

Now, that is pumpin'!

Okay. Go, Lonnie.

Oh, my God!

There's been an explosion!

Ladies and gentlemen, there's been an explosion! please stay off the track!

We have to have room for the emergency vehicles and the fire trucks to get down.

I know you'll wanna know what's going on. We'll let you know as soon as we know.

Please stay off the track!

And there he goes!

The man is simply unreal! Man, he just doesn't care!

I was just lucky. Can you believe it, folks?

Let's go, Lonnie. That's why they call Lonnie Johnson the Lucky Man.

I mean, that's a close squeaker for any normal man, but for Lonnie Johnson it's all in a day's work.

Let's hear it for the Lucky Man, Lonnie Johnson!

Get him back up to that tower and get him checked out.

Let's not forget the staff here at Speedway too.

Had it not been for their very fast arrival on the crash scene, it might have been all over.

But thanks to the Speedway staff, they make this sport as safe as it is today.

Let's give 'em a hand!

Jesus.

You wanna get up and catch this other tire, Kid?

Who told you to tack on that damn blower?

I can't afford to win like that! I'm on a budget!

I'm holding you responsible for that crash today.

What?

Who the hell told you to tack on that damn blower anyway?

Look, if you want to win you can't stand still.

Win? I can't afford to win like that.

I'm on a budget. FastCo ain't Gulfand Western.

Now, wait a minute.

You really don't give a damn, do you? You don't want to win!

Right. I don't!

Not if it's gonna bust my budget.

Do I have to tell you again?

Winning is too expensive.

Then what the hell are we in this for?

I'll tell you what we're in it for-

to sell those little red, white and blue cans of FastCo.

Because if we don't I don't eat, you don't eat, nobody eats!

You just keep those cars competitive enough to stay in the limelight...

so those good folks out there can see the FastCo trademark.

You got it?

It's show biz. Yeah, yeah, okay. I got it, Phil.

Yeah, yeah, I got it!

One of those eardrum-shattering fuel dragsters made even more noise than usual last night...

out at Edmonton international Speedway.

Drag racing star Lonnie "Lucky Man Johnson lived up to his name..."

And walked away from a spectacular crash.

Things started to go wrong about halfway down the quarter-mile strip.

The explosion and fire destroyed the FastCo top fuel dragster.

An amazing accident, and even more amazing that Johnson wasn't hurt.

And now let's check in with Marsha and the weather.

Hello. Sammy's.

Sam? It's Lonnie.

Lonnie, where are you? Are you in town?

No, I'm on the road, on my way to Big Sky.

But, week after that I'm gonna be in Spokane...

and I thought maybe we could get together.

What's wrong, Lonnie? What are you talking about?

- Something's wrong. I can hear it. Are you all right? - I'm just fine.

I had a minor accident in the dragster.

What the hell is "minor"?

Well, she didn't blow up when she landed.

That's not funny. Are you calling me from the hospital?

No, I am not calling you from the hospital.

You want me to put Elder on the intercom?

No. No, no. I believe you.

How are- How are things in Seattle?

Business as usual.

It sure would be nice, though, to see you come walking through my door.

Hey, why don't you? You don't have a car to drive for a while.

Oh, I'd love to, babe,

but you know Adamson.

It's promotion time and all that.

Oh, hey, babe, I'm sorry. I gotta get back to work.

Do you promise you'll call me from Big Sky? Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Sam, I wanna see you soon.

Take care of yourself. Okay? Yeah.

Bye. Bye.

Hi.

God, Lonnie's amazing.

That crash didn't seem to faze him a bit.

Shit, boy, I walked away from 10 times worse.

Did I ever tell you about the time-

What the hell's that?

Shit! Flat tire on the Chaparral.

- You're kidding me. - Oh, Christ!

Guess what I forgot. What?

Goddamn spare tire.

You forgot the spare tire?

Jesus Christ.

Hey!

Look at that!

Howdy, men. Hey, Wes.

How you doin', son?

- Have a flat? - No, thanks. We already got one.

Didn't you hear the joke about America's greatest racing team? Forgot to bring their spare tire?

No! Dig this!

The hot-shit FastCo outfit don't even have a spare!

We got one I think they can use.

I don't think they know how to change it.

Hey, Meatball, why don't you go behind the truck and give yourself a valve job?

- Shit- - Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, Mac, come on! Come on, ladies. Come on.

Settle down. Give me that.

Hey, Elder, is, Lonnie back in the pleasure dome?

Yeah. He's on the fourth floor taking a sauna bath with seven geisha girls.

Right.

Stoner, I think we'd better help these poor guys out?

Okay. Give me a call when you're done.

That's mighty black of ya.

Give me a hand, will ya? Count me out.

What do you hear from the Flintstones?

I gotta get Pacemaker to make me up a rig like this.

Aw, you wouldn't like it. You're too used to vans.

You'd never be able to handle it. Yeah, maybe.

That was a hell of a crash you took there at the Speedway, man.

You're still lucky. I walked away from it, didn't I?

Yeah.

You must have got shaken up, man.

Playing with toy cars.

I saw the crash on TV. It looked great.

How come you always know where the camera is? It's just part of the game, Black.

Yeah, well, I wish you were running funny cars, man,

'cause I'd get my picture in the paper if I beat Mr. Big-time.

You know something, Gary? I think you got your hands full with the Kid.

Brooker? Come on, get serious. He's a punk.

No, he's not.

He's good, and he's coming up fast, and he could be number one.

I can tell. Oh, yeah?

And what do you think about Gary Black?

Come on.

Gary Black.