The Archiveologists

Built on a plague pit,

Luton is predominantly a shit-hole

specialising in hat-making and Satanism.

One thing the 160,00 population doesn't like

is reading matter.

This library has over 15 books

and there are plans to buy seven more

Luton Library members are varied.

Someone who's in there all the time is Alan Bennett

Hello, I'm Alan Bennett.

I'm due a fine on these but I'm buggered if I'm paying it.

This statue is of the goddess Athena pulling off her grateful

husband Archivia.

Back again, Alan?

Not that it's any of your fucking business.

Just stamp these, you daft cow.

The books are then carried along on a conveyor belt into a skip

just outside the library; where they will be destroyed in a fire.

In the main hall is the advice and information bureau,

providing a range of information from everything from train

timetables to mariage guidance.

- I coudn't stand the sound of her breathing so I killed her. - I see.

Also, what time is the next train to Wapping, please?

In the main lending room, Pamela plays soothing organ music.

But no-one asked her to.