The Nanny

Oh, God, my allergies are so bad today.

Listen to how stuffed up I sound.

How can you tell?

Oh, no.

Where's all the tissues. I thought this was a full box.

Good morning!

Fran; Where are the double stuffed Oreos?

Shut up right now.

Here, sweetheart.

Now listen, we're going to have be very sensitive where your sister is concerned.

She's eager to develop.

Yeah, you're right. Couple of years

we're just going to have to go through the same thing with Maggie.

Oh, I don't know how I'm going to get through this day.

My only remaining single friend called to tell me he's getting married.

Oh, Niles; You poor thing.

You're probably feeling so vulnerable and insecure.

Like a big loser.

Welcome to my world, baby.

It's just that I'm lonely, Miss Fine.

You don't know what it is to be the only one of your friends who's not married.

Hello?

And over 40.

Not a clue.

Oh, Niles; How I wish that the woman of your dreams

would just come walking right through that door.

Ugh.

I have been tasting garlic pesto for two days now.

Would she ever leave Morty... what am I saying?

Darling, I just won a contest

and I'm on my way over right now to pick up my prize.

-Oh! -19 inches of heaven.

I'm so hoping it's a TV.

A brand new Sony Trinitron. And all I had to do,

was fill out this little questionnaire on retirement.

Oh.

Sylvia, have you eaten breakfast already?

What do you think?

Then you'll just want a little nosh.

Oh, I love you.

And I love that perfume... Good God, man, get a grip.

Come on, Franny; We gotta pick up the TV before 3 o'clock.

Ma; This is a scam, they're only trying to lure you down there

so they can talk you into buying a retirement condo in...

Boca?

Let me get my bag.

An average day at Sunlake Village

consists of waking up, God willing,

To breathtaking beaches, lush foliage,

and unspoiled vistas.

Ooh...

Tony Romas.

Just six minutes from a Loehmann's,

a 24-hour Cadillac dealership

and the best prostate man in South Florida.

You see that guy in the front row?

-Yeah. -I bet he's got great hands.

What?

One of us has to be able to open the pickle jar.

So, ma, what do you think? This place looks fabulous.

Oh, I couldn't make a decision like this without discussing it with your father.

And now, for those of you who are ready to make a deposit,

please, you'll join us for complimentary coffee and cake.

You know, I'm my own person.

Do the appliances come in avocado?

Mr. Sheffield, I know that it's really,

really late, but I couldn't sleep and I was just hoping that you might...

be up!

Oh! What? What happened?

Were you having a nightmare?

Oh, I think so.

I was dreaming I was sleeping in my bed

and then this incredibly sexy woman came in

and bloody woke me up!

You think I look incredibly sexy?

Miss Fine; What are you doing in my bedroom?

Mr. Sheffield; I've got insomnia and I couldn't sleep

and I thought, you know if you couldn't sleep

and you came into my room,

I'd be there for you.

Hmm, alright, so

why do you think you can't sleep? What are you feeling?

Well, I'm feeling frustrated and I don't know why.

Well,

when do you think this started?

Four years ago.

The insomnia kicked in tonight.

Well, did something happen today that's upsetting you or worrying you?

No, no, it was a perfectly normal day.

Manicure, pedicure, facial, for Gracey.

She had a big playdate today.

Then I took ma to buy a condo in Florida, then Bloomeys, then home.

Miss Fine; Your mother's moving to Florida?

Uh-huh, she put down a deposit on a condo for her and daddy today.

They're finally moving to Boca,

1,372 miles away, roughly.

Miss Fine; Did it occur to you that your mother

moving to Florida might be what's troubling you?

So not.

No, seriously, I think it might be worrying you more than you think.

I think this is the thing you should talk to Dr. Miller about.

In therapy?

Well, of course in therapy, what do you think those sessions are for?

Eh_?

You're not going to tell me you just sit there week after week talking about me?

Yeah, right.

Oh, hello, Dr. Miller, I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time.

Oh, not at all.

No, I'm always up at 5:30 in the morning.

How did you get my home number?

Well, let's just say there are 30 Dr. Millers in the tri-state area

that are a little P-O'd at me.

Ha, ha, ha.

Alright, Fran, what's the emergency?

Dr. Miller, last night my dream came true.

You know, I couldn't sleep, so I went into Mr. Sheffield's room

and while we were in bed, -Yes!

Don't get excited,

Just on a night when I should have been jumping for joy,

I wound up miserable. -Not unusual.

When two people fantasize for a long time about something

and it happens, it's not uncommon for them to feel let down.

The question is,

what about your feelings?

Were you completely satisfied?

Well, I think so.

I mean, you know it's what I've always dreamed of.

You know how long I've wanted this.

Well, did you feel the earth move?

Doc, they're moving to Boca, not Antarctica.

Excuse me?

My parents are moving to Boca. Why aren't I happy?

Fran; It is a long and sometimes painful process separating from one's mother,

but you have to understand you must do that,

in order to become a mature healthy adult.

Mother; I am in session.

I don't even know why I still keep going to that Dr. Miller.

I mean, listen to what that man says to me.

For a woman my age, I have an abnormal connection to my mommy.

What's that?

It's wrong, Fran.

I mean if you were still living at home

and sleeping on the pull-out couch, then already you'd be you...

You.

You know, the man is wacko.

Do you know how many people would kill

to have a relationship like I have with my mother?

I mean, let's face it, she's not getting any younger.

You don't know how many years you have together.

You got to appreciate every precious moment.

I don't want my mommy to move away!

Oh, good, my anti-depressants.

Mm, they're mine.

Please, would you stop?

Just 'cause your friend's getting married and you're not.

You know, you don't exactly make tons of money.

You should be happy you don't have a wife to support.

And, on that note...

Oh, poor Niles.

Always a best man, never a man.

Hey, what do you think will be the hardest part?

Watching your friend kiss the bride, or starting every sentence with,

"No, I don't have a date."

Well, I was thinking of asking a tall, voluptuous blonde.

But she's moving to Boca.

Oh, you are pathetic.

Alright, if you're that desperate I will go with you.

That doesn't sound like you.

Someone leave that on your answering machine?

Well, now you can just forget it.

I wouldn't go if you begged me.

-I'll pick you up at 8:00. -7:00, we'll have drinks.

Oh, Val.

What am I going to do without my mother being here?

I'm going to miss her hugs and kisses.