Jenna Loves Pain

How dare you?

How dare you put your hands on me, you filth?

When my associates get word of this brutality,

you'll find yourself on the wrong end

of a disintegration beam. You can count on that.

50 and 60.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Whatever he's paying you, I'll double it.

Do you hear me? This is your lucky day.

Damn it.

I bet you never thought you'd see

this face again, did you?

You are correct,

because I have never seen you before in my life.

Wait. Did you try and sell me a used shuttle last year?

No! Tevrin Krit.

You slept with my sister

and stole my family's sacred cudgel.

Mr. Krit, with all due respect, I haven't the foggiest idea

of what you're talking about.

That cudgel was passed down by my ancestors

for over a hundred years.

I was going to give it to my son.

Uh, "cudgel"? Is that...

Are you... are you saying

"cudgel"? I've never heard of that.

Is that some sort of kitchen implement?

It's a hand weapon

used for close quarters combat.I have never seen

nor heard of a cudgel.

I think you're getting your humans confused.

No, I am a gentleman of the highest caliber.

Wherever you go, people sing the praises of Harry Mudd.

We must all look alike to you.

Which an easy mistake to make

for a-a gentleman... Oh.

"Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

"Wanted by the Federation on 30 counts of smuggling,

"20 counts of attempted homicide,

one count of attempted regicide..."

Regicide.

He was a duke. Hardly counts as regicide.

What are we attempting to murder now? Accuracy?

"Transportation of stolen goods,

and one count of... penetrating a space whale"?

You kind of had to be there.

Sounds to me

like you pissed off the wrong planetary alliance.

They slapped a 100,000-credit bounty on your head,

and I'm so, so glad

that I'll be the one to profit off your downfall.

Something to think about during our journey.

This has all been a big misunderstanding.

What do you say we talk this out, hmm?

Combine forces, and locate your cudgel together?

I'm sure you're used to worming your way

out of situations like this, but not today.

I assure you,

I have never been in a situation like this before.

How dare you? How dare you put your hands on me, you filth?

When my associates get word of this brutality, they'll...

You better hope these bindings hold, or I'll carve

off your skin

like a suckling targ!

No, no, wait, not my face!

Well, maybe I have been falsely accused

once or twice.

I can't help it if my reputation precedes me.

I am a memorable man.

It's all scuttlebutt and hogwash, I assure you.

Oh, great.

Oh, wait a minute. Uh, uh, a dim memory is, uh,

bubbling to the surface of my consciousness.

Of course.

Tevrin Krit.

With a... with a "T." "Tevrin."

I was think...

I had a romantic encounter with your sister.

Yes, how could I ever forget?

A forbidden tryst.

Oh, her tusks prodded my face,

her stubble grazed my lips.

Oh, it was overwhelmingly seductive.

Yes, and in a fit of passion, I absconded with your cudgel

to keep as a memento of our secret love.

And I am not proud to say that

I sold it.

Your cudgel is now

in parts unknown,

and I am so very sorry.

You will be even sorrier

when I hand you over to Starfleet.

I had to sell it.

We were low on capital.

I really shouldn't be telling you this,

but I am a member of the resistance.

The Federation won't stop until they've consolidated power

across the entire quadrant.

Sure, they blather and prevaricate

about "peaceful exploration,"

but what they're really after is total hegemonic supremacy.

I've never heard of any resistance.

: That's because it's a secret resistance.

Nobody knows about it except the resistors.

Which I am one... of them.

Look, we're not so different, you and I.

Both forced to fight for scraps on the fringes.

If only there was a way

that we could work together. Hmm?

Pool our resources, take control of our destiny.

You have to see the wisdom in that.

Has that line

ever worked on anyone?

It's not a line.

I'm telling you, I see something special in you.

We're kindred spirits.

Hey, hey.

I'm telling you, we're kindred spirits.

Stop dragging your feet.

You are surprisingly strong for your diminutive stature.

You're throwing my center off balance.

I am of normal height. It is not my problem

you are freakishly weak.

Okay, okay. You know,

we're not so dissimilar, you and I.

Both forced to fight for scraps on the fringes.

Maybe we could work together,

control our destiny.

Surely, you can see the wisdom in that. Hmm?

A coalition would give us more leverage

against the Federation.

But how can I trust you?

We would both benefit from an alliance. Why would I lie?

Because you're driven by insatiable greed.

Precisely. So unbind me now

so we can turn a bad situation into good business.

Is that a no? Wait...

What are you looking for?

None of your concern.

Have you lost track of your ship?

Maybe if you were a little taller,

you wouldn't get lost so often.

I know exactly where I am at all times.

What kind of bounty hunter loses her ship?

The kind who would never be in a partnership with you.

All right. You know,

the light dappling down through those sewer grates

accentuates your exceptional beauty.