Futurama

♪ Two... two, three...

Hey, guys.

Remember Carlos, the elderly one-legged cowboy who lives next door?

I beat him up and took his hat!

It's really nice.

I hope he's not hurt too bad.

Come on! Let's go to a redneck bar.

Wha...?

It's called line dancing, Professor.

It's fun because there's no touching and lots of rules.

Hey, look, a mechanical buggalo!

Out of my way, losers!

I have a way with bucking mechanical things.

Yep.

Hey, baby. I'm Bender.

Ooh-whee!

Gather 'round, yokel wannabes!

This here city slicker's about to get his nuts bolted!

Oh, yeah? If I don't set a new club record, I'll eat my hat.

0.4 seconds!

A new club record for shortest ride.

Told you! Yee-haw!

Still, someone should eat the hat.

Oh, my.

Oh! Whoa!

Something's wrong!

Turn it off before she barfs up her bucket of hot wings!

It's not responding!

Command Center, override! Override!

Oh, no. It's achieved consciousness!

God forgive us for creating this.

Make it stop!

Oh, God, please make it stop!

Look out, little drunk Sheila!

48.3 seconds!

We got us a winner!

Oh, thank God you're all right and won us a free steak dinner.

Why didn't you let go?

My hand is stuck!

There must be glue on the saddle!

Relax. Let maybe a doctor take a look.

Ah, just as I had no idea.

You're breaking out in suction cups.

Ewe! Why is that happening?

And will I have to die listening to country music?

Not if I can get you to a better doctor.

We'll have to hurry-he doesn't have much time!

What is it, Dr. Tenderman? Is it serious?

I'm afraid these suction cups

are merely the first phase of a process called 'squidification'.

I probably gave it to you!

Sometimes I don't wash my hands for years at a time.

I'm afraid it's a genetic condition that sometimes affects mutants.

Your limbs will gradually transform into a slithering mass of...

- Tentacles. - Oh, God!

So, how many cures are there for this disease?

I'm afraid... none.

The only treatment is an incredibly expensive operation

that just delays the symptoms for a few months.

Oh!

I wish I'd never been born!

Damn it. Why me?!

There are still so many things I wanted to let go of!

Leela, no matter what happens, no matter what kind of monster you turn into...

It won't change the way I feel about you.

Zoidberg?

It's like I'm cursed!

Isn't it bad enough that I occasionally lay an egg?

Now I have to become a squid, too?!

Aw, Sweetie, tentacles are beautiful.

I mean, look at your Mother here.

She's so gorgeous, you hardly even notice the tentacles.

And if you're worried, you can always move down here with us.

In the sewer, you'll fit right in.

Sewer mail!

He's single.

I don't care if that operation will only delay the tentacles.

Somehow, we got to find a way to pay for it.

It's no use.

There's absolutely no way we can afford to...

Wait! We'll sell Ol' Bessie!

Fry, take the old gal to market and get the best darn price you can.

Yeah, I will!

Yeah, all right!

Come on, Ol' Bessie.

Warp drives!

Get your warp drives!

Say, friend, that's a heck of a ship.

She's worth a lot of money.

I'm gonna sell her at market so my girlfriend

can get surgery for her squidification.

Jeepers, my wife had that.

Got sicker and sicker, and in the end...

We found a miracle cure!

Giant beans? They must be worth a fortune!

These babies are the jewels of the bean kingdom.

But since you're in a jam, I'll trade 'em for that ship of yours.

Hmm. I don't know.

They're the cure-all that cures a lot!

Rheumatism, botulism, seborrhea, diarrhea, desiccation, perspiration,

common cold and, uh...

Um, uh...

Squidification?

If you say so.

Wait a second.

How could beans possibly cure her?

Because they're magic!

They fell from the sky!

Oh, now you tell me!

I did it! I got a great deal on the ship!

Hooray! I knew you wouldn't let us down in any way.

Well, how much did you get?

Two!

Two magic beans!

Ooh! You sack of bags of buckets of idiots!

There's no such thing as magic beans!

Oh.

'Fry, you big dummy'?

Very much so.

Whatever you're trying to do, I appreciate it.

But this is one of those rare problems with no magic solution.

You look sad.

You want to go down to the phone store and check out the new ring tones?

No. It's been a weird day.

I'm just gonna stay here and think for a while.

Okay.

To my wonderful friends,

words can't express how thoughtful you've been.

I don't want to make you suffer through this with me,

so I've decided to move underground to the sewer.

I'll miss several of you, but I know it's the right thing to do.

Please, don't try to contact me down there.

It'll only make things harder.

Good-bye.

That's new.

Eh, I'll take the beanstalk less traveled.

Wow.

I've never been up this high before.

Well, outer space, I guess.

Whoa!

It's collapsing!

What the...

It's some kind of deluxe apartment in the sky.

Oh.

It's like a Fairy Tale!

Finally, a turn for the better.

Gotcha.

This situation deteriorated fast.

Whoa!

We've been weed-whacked!

Whoa, check out that giant...

Your intruder, Mother.

That is one skugly critter.

I'm not an animal, I'm a mutant being, and I demand to know where I am.

There.