American Psycho

Our pasta this evening is squid ravioli in a lemongrass broth

with goat cheese profiteroles,

and I also have an arugula Caesar salad.

For entrées this evening,

I have swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade,

rare-roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis

with a sorrel timbale...

And grilled free-range rabbit with her bed French fries.

Our pasta tonight is a squid ravioli in a lemongrass broth,

and the fish tonight is grilled...

With a double espresso.

God, I hate this place.

It's a chicks' restaurant.

Why aren't we at Dorsia?

Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.

Is that Reed Robinson over there?

Are you freebasing or what? That's not Robinson.

Well, who is it, then?

It's Paul Allen.

That's not Paul Allen.

Paul Allen's on the other side of the room. Over there.

Who's he with?

Some weasel from Kicker Peabody.

They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.

Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?

Yes, McDufus, I am.

He's handling the Fisher account.

Lucky bastard.

Lucky Jew bastard.

Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?

I've seen that bastard sitting in his office,

talking on the phone to the CEO, spinning a fucking menorah.

Not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.

Oh, my God, Bateman.

You want me to fry you up some fucking potato pancakes? Some latkes?

No, just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.

Oh, I'd forgotten. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.

He's the voice of reason.

The boy next door.

Speaking of reasonable.

Only $570.

Not bad.

A little something for the purse.

Give her the $50.

Two Stolis on the rocks.

These aren't good any more. It's a cash bar.

That'll be $25.

You're a fucking ugly bitch.

I want to stab you to death,

then play around with your blood.

What can I get for you two?

I live in the American Gardens building

on West 81st Street, on the 11th floor.

My name is Patrick Bateman.

I'm 27 years old.

I believe in taking care of myself

and a balanced diet

and a rigorous exercise routine.

In the morning, if my face is a little puffy,

I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches.

I can do 1,000 now.

After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep-pore cleanser lotion.

In the shower, I use a water-activated gel cleanser,

then a honey-almond body scrub,

and on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub.

Then I apply an herb mint facial mask,

which I leave on for 10 minutes,

while I prepare the rest of my routine.

I always use an aftershave lotion

with little or no alcohol,

because alcohol dries your face out

and makes you look older.

Then moisturiser,

then an anti-ageing eye balm

followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman,

some kind of abstraction,

but there is no real me,

only an entity, something illusory.

And though I can hide my cold gaze

and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours,

and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable,

I simply am not there.

I said, baby, I just want you back

And I want you to stay

Whoa, yeah!

I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

I'm walking on sunshine

Morning, Hamilton. Nice tan.

I'm walking on sunshine, whoa...

Late.

Aerobics class, sorry. Any messages?

Ricky Harrison has to cancel.

He didn't say what he was cancelling or why.

I occasionally box with Ricky at the Harvard Club. Anyone else?

Spencer wants to meet for drinks at Flutie's Pier 17.

When? After 6:00.

Negative. Cancel it.

And what should I say?

Just say no.

Just say no?

Okay, Jean, I need reservations for three at Camols at 12:30,

and if not there, try Crayons, all right?

Yes, sir.

Oh, wait, and I need reservations for two

at Arcadia at 8:00 on Thursday.

Something romantic?

No.

Silly.

Forget it, I'll make them.

No, I'll do it. No, no.

Be a doll and just get me a mineral water, okay?

You look nice today.

Don't wear that outfit again.

What? I didn't hear you.

I said, do not wear that outfit again.

Wear a dress, a skirt or something.

You don't like this, I take it?

Come on, you're prettier than that.

Thanks, Patrick.

I'm not here.

And high heels. I like high heels.

"Feathered Friends" for 600.

During courtship, the male frigate bird

inflates to enormous size the red pouch found here.

She's a powerful force

You're obliged to conform when there's no other course

She used to look good to me but now I find her

Simply irresistible

Thousands of roses,

and lots of chocolate truffles, Godiva,

and oysters on the half shell.

I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape,

but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée,

keeps buzzing in my ear.

Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz.

And we'll have to get someone to videotape.

Patrick, we should do it.

Do what?

Get married. Have a wedding.

No, I can't take the time off work.

Your father practically owns the company.

You can do anything you like, silly.

I don't want to talk about it.

You hate that job anyway.

I don't see why you just don't quit.

Because I want to fit in.

Simply irresistible

Simply irresistible

Williams party.

I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace,

since I'm positive we won't have a decent table.

But we do,

and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.

Patrick, this is my cousin Vanden and her boyfriend Stash.

They're both artists.

The menu's in Braille. I see you've met everyone.

You look awesome.

Okay, okay, all right.

I'm fairly certain that Timothy Bryce and Evelyn are having an affair.

Timothy is the only interesting person I know.

I'm almost completely indifferent

as to whether Evelyn knows I'm having an affair

with Courtney Rawlinson, her closest friend.

Courtney is almost perfect-looking.

She's usually operating on one or more psychiatric drugs.

Tonight, I believe it's Xanax.

More disturbing than her drug use, though,

is the fact that she's engaged

to Luis Carruthers, the biggest dufus in the business.

Tell me, Stash,

do you think Soho is becoming too commercial?

Yes, I read that.

Oh, who gives a rat's ass?

Hey, that affects us.

Oh. Well what about the massacres in Sri Lanka, honey?

Doesn't that affect us, too?

I mean, do you know anything about Sri Lanka?

How, like, the Sikhs are killing, like,

tons of Israelis over there?

Come on, Bryce.

There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.

Like what?

Well, we have to end apartheid, for one,

and slow down the nuclear arms race,

stop terrorism, and world hunger.

We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless

and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights

while also promoting equal rights for women.

We have to encourage a return

to traditional moral values.

Most importantly,

we have to promote general social concern

and less materialism in young people.

Patrick,

how thought-provoking.

Hello.

Hello.

(LADY ARGUING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

"Bleach-ee"? Are you trying to say "bleach-ee"?