The Nanny

Oh, I can't believe we're here to see "The Rosie O'Donnell Show."

After his incredibly memorable performance in the hit film,

"4 Weddings and a Funeral,"

our first guest has gone on to become

one of today's hottest movie stars.

His new movie, "Extreme Measures," opens next Friday.

Please say hello to Hugh Grant.

Hello

-Hi. -How are ya?

You shot it here in New York?

We shot most of it here in New York.

Yeah, yeah, that's an experience.

Um, I mean it's a nice experience.

Don't get me wrong, but just, took some adjustment.

You know, I'm used to English film sets

where everyone's very very nice to you all the time,

and "hello, love, can I get you anything?"

"-Cup of tea, donuts?" that kind of stuff. -Right.

And here, I find myself getting cups of tea

and donuts for the drivers, umm.

Oh, is he to die for or what?

Oh, that thick kinda hair

and that adorable English accent.

Ugh, me stuck in the house all day.

Where am I gonna ever meet a guy like that?

All right, we're back.

Hey, I'm on TV.

Hey, buddy.

Stifle!

Uh, that's my lovely assistant telling me

that my son will not go down for his nap.

Uh, put on C-Span,

those senators put each other to sleep.

That's pretty funny. Who said that?

Try that, try that.

Stand up.

Oh, look, I'm on the monitor.

Oh, good. The camera puts ten pounds on the hair too.

Hey! -Hi!

Hi! How are ya?

-I'm good, thank you. -What's your name?

Uh, umm, Fran Fine. Fran Fine, Miss Rosie O'Donnell.

You know, it's two for one on Saturday at Pathmark.

I like glossy. But if you like a matte finish,

-I'm sure... -Listen, I'm not Sally Jesse.

I can't pretend I care, okay?

Okay.

All right, how many kids you got, Fran?

Kids? No. Know what I mean?

All the, the whining and the diapers

and the schlepping, puh-lease.

Oh, yeah? What do you do for a living?

I'm a nanny.

There you have it.

Oh, let's see what this is. Emergency...

Hey, Fran, your trick worked. Two minutes with C-Span,

-my son is out like a light. -Aah!

Of course, watching all the senators,

he now has a hooker in the crib with him.

-That's funny. -You're funny.

I like your laugh.

Listen, why don't you meet me

in the dressing room after the show?

-We could talk. -Oh, oh, my God.

This is incredible. I, uh, I swear,

I have dreamed of this exact moment.

Only my outfit was tighter,

my hair was bigger and you were Streisand.

You can't have everything. Fran Fine, ladies and gentlemen!

We'll be back with Chaka Khan, right after this.

I can't believe we're in Rosie O'Donnell's dressing room.

I'm so nervous, I don't know what to do with myself.

You know, I'm doin' what any real fan would do.

I'm going through her stuff.

Oh, wow. She really does shop at Kmart.

Hey, where's my favorite nanny?

Hey, how's the professor?

You're going through my stuff, aren't ya?

Me? Oh, uh,

no, no.

This is hers. Here honey.

She went through your stuff.

Oh, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Val.

Oh, I loved you in "Misery".

When you broke James Caan's legs,

I was screamin'.

Yeah, thanks.

You know, I won an Oscar for that performance.

-I know. -Uh, this is Gracie,

one of the three beautiful children that I take care of.

Hi, Gracie.

You know, I care about them more than myself.

Yeah, where are the other two?

Oh, I swapped the tickets so me and Val could get in.

Oh.

Hey, Fran. I was talking to the producer outside.

What do you think of doing a weekly spot on the show?

You know, about child care

Oh, my God!

Me? On "The Rosie O'Donnell Show"?

In front of millions of people?

What's your male demographic?

Hmm, you know, you're perfect for TV.

You're funny, you're beautiful,

and you obviously adore children.

Oh, you know, I am a nurturer by nature.

-Hmm. -Fran, I have to go to the bathroom.

Nanny's busy, honey. Cross your legs.

Uh, honey,

let me be the one to tell your father

about the job on "Rosie O'Donnell."

He doesn't understand how I can juggle a million things

and still stay on the ball.

Huh, oh, oh.

Oh. Phew.

Your brother and sister didn't come with us tonight.

Fran,

Did you tell Val not to tell anyone?

Oh, who's she gonna tell? I'm her only friend.

Congratulations!

Val!

Oh, I'm sorry but you are all going to have to leave.

This isn't my house.

He's not home.

Photo op!

Oh, I can't tell you

how this job on the "Rosie Show"

makes me so...

It's, it's all right Miss Fine.

Niles told me all about it.

Why do you have to be such a 'Yenta'?

I am not a 'Yenta'.

I'm just sucking up so he'll tell me

what the thing on the plane on the way back from Paris was.

Mr. Sheffield, you're not upset

that I'm gonna be working two jobs?

Two jobs?

What's the other one?

Oh! Here! Yes.

Fran, you were born to be in front of the camera.

-It's in your genes. -Oh.

You know, I was gonna be a model.

But,

you know what stopped me?

What's in your genes?

-Uh, Mr. Sheffield? -Hmm?

You know, you're certainly being supportive.

Ah, well, Miss Fine,

that's what I meant when I said we should be friends.

You mean, when you took back the thing?

The definition of "The Thing"...

When Maxwell told Fran, he loved her

on the way back from Paris.

Then took it back

Miss Fine; Friends should be supportive.

They don't dwell on the past.

Oh, yeah, they do. I mean, you know,

our people might have enjoyed "Hogan's Heroes,"

but that doesn't mean

that we're gonna go out and drive a Mercedes.

All right, we may drive a Mercedes,

But it doesn't mean we're gonna fly Lufthansa.

-Unless we have mileage. -Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes. All right, I get the point.

You are never gonna forgive me for taking back the thing.

-Well_ -What are you two doing,

airing your dirty laundry in public?

Let's go into the office where we can be more private.

Speak into the flower.

Please welcome, America's favorite nanny,

Fran Fine!

All right, your first letter right now.

"Dear Fran,

my son sits too close

to our TV set when he's watching. What should I do?"

From Marian, Dayton, Ohio.

Oh, well, Mary, here's the thing.

Get a bigger TV.

This way, his head will be comparatively smaller

and it won't block your view, honey.

Score!

This is from Jackie Hall in New Jersey.

"Dear Fran, I choose not to breastfeed.

But my husband thinks I should. What should I do?"

Well, that depends, Jackie. Do you have any children?

I can't do no more.

All right, one more.

Thank you!

Bye, everyone! I love you!

You know, Maxwell, I think it's nice

Nanny Fine is doing that little talk show thing.

It gives us so much more time together.

Our relationship's just grown by leaps and bounds.

Miss Fine; You're back.