Run, Hide, Die (The Anniversary)

Waitress: You're alone?

Yeah.

Waitress: You know what you want?

I'll take the venison please.

Female reporter: ... this morning

at the Jacob River Community Center

for the victims of a tragic event last Friday

which is now being referred to

as the Nace Family Massacre.

Male reporter: Friends and family of

the deceased gathered at the community center today to--

Male reporter: the murders

which took place Friday evening.

Said the family interviewed that

the Nace family was your All-American family.

It just doesn't make sense.

Female reporter: An emotional wave of distress

has rocked the small community, causing

many citizens to stay indoors

and take time off work to be with their family.

Male reporter: Although a thorough investigation

is underway, police say they have made

no arrests at this time.

Motivations for the murders has been

subject of many conversations this week,

in whether or not they are linked to

the murder of a family member, Alex Nace.

Male reporter: ...occurred exactly a year ago

from the crimes of Friday evening.

The shooting one year prior is still untold,

leaving many to wonder if the shooter

just came back to finish the job.

Waitress: Need anything else?

Ma'am?

Indy: No, thank you.

Oh!

Touchdown, yeah!

Sorry, I have a cheese ball in my mouth, what up?

Hey, Indy.

Indy: Addie?

-You okay? -Yeah...

Could you come over?

Addie's Mom: Hey sweetie, I stopped by

on my way to the airport.

Janet called to see how you're doing.

Jim said their cabin's free and that you're

more than welcome to go up there

with your friends for the weekend.

Tomorrow it will be a year.

You have to move on.

Speaking of moving on...

What's this?

Ugh, my mom dropped that off with flowers this morning.

I guess she was talking to Janet

on the phone and they both thought

it'd be a bad idea for me to stay here

this weekend, so I guess Jim offered up his cabin.

Alex's dad offered that?

That's a huge step, actually.

All right, extreme camping trip!

We can take Wilma!

Call the other girls and see if they wanna go.

You mean you wanna invite other girls on our date?

I thought we could have an orgy.

You know, the usual.

As long as I can be the big spoon.

You can be the big spoon.

And you make the other sluts sleep in the wet spot.

Gross!

So where's this cabin anyway?

It's out near Concrete.

Indy: So who are we inviting?

Addie: Anyone who wants to come.

Indy: On my chest?

Dude...

Indy: (laughs) Okay.

Welcome back.

See ya later!

Officer: You left your home at five in the evening?

Why can't you people just do your fucking jobs?

Ma'am, I assure you our investigation is continuing.

There's a process we have to follow--

Stop. You don't know what's right in front of you!

Addison Nace?

You left your home and proceeded to one Ariel Jackson's.

What, are we dropping you off at a frat party?

It's a quarter mile hike to the cabin,

you're gonna wear that?

Fuck you, pirate hat is coming.

-It's extra weight. -You're extra weight!

Could you not be an asshole for like five minutes?

Dude, that'd be like asking the wind not to blow.

So Billy still lives in her grandma's place, right?

Indy: Yeah.

Oh, and I invited Gina, I hope that's okay.

And she's at Billy's, so we can kill two birds.

Well, I have a surprise guest as well.

-Santa? -Addie: Nope.

Bill Murray.

Ariel.

Ariel?

She lives!

Addie: Depends on what film she's doing.

Hot, so what she been up to lately?

Addie: Just doing the Indy Hollywood thing.

Sucks though, 'cause we never get to see her.

She's always either rehearsing or filming something.

Indy: Lame.

-(roaring) -Shit!

What up, biatch?

How did you get back there without me seeing you?

I snuck her in there when you got to my house.

You know, had I known you were back there, I would have

at least lied to you.

Aw, Indy, you're not a very good liar.

-Indy: Yes I am! -Addie: No you're not.

-Okay, two truths and a lie. -Addie: Okay.

All right, one, I'm allergic to alcohol.

Two, I put on deodorant this morning,

and three, I have to poop.

-Well, that was easy. -Indy: Okay.

You are not allergic to alcohol.

-Indy: Yes I am. -Ariel: No, you're not!

Yes, I am. Every time I drink I break out in handcuffs, woo!

Oh, ,you're so retarded!

You cheated!

Indy: I didn't. How do you know the other two aren't true?

Well, I can smell you from here,

so I know you didn't put on deodorant--

Hey.

Addie: You probably pooped before you left.

Nope, I have to poop.

Wait, so which one's the lie?

Neither, I lied about lying.

Fucking cheater!

Indy: You're just mad because

I'm a better actress than you.

Oh, speaking of acting...

I brought my scripts along.

Addie: (laughs) What's this for?

A horror film called Eating Revenge !

Is that whore with a w?

Ariel: Oh, yeah, absolute whore.

Wait, can I rehearse it with you?

Yeah!

Oh, this is gonna sound super nerdy,

but I actually brought a video camera.

Addie: (laughs) So dangerous.

I was hoping you guys could film

a couple of my scenes with me?

That way I can see what I look like

so I don't look completely retarded

when I actually film.

So cliché, a hot chick.

Ariel: I know, right?

No, no, you need bigger boobs.

Just wait, I'm gonna be famous as fuck

and you're gonna take back every comment.

No, because then you'll have money to buy fake ones.

Fuck you.

Billy: Gina, they're here!

Hey, what's up, motherfuckers?

Really?

The slow clap?

Really?

Could have been the other clap.

Dude, if you weren't such a klutz,

you wouldn't get the slow clap.

Or the other clap.

Hey Addie, you're out of the fucking house.

Yeah.

Oh, balls, I forgot my pillow.

Fuck you, assholes!

Hey, guys!

Indy: Hey, look at those legs,

they go right up and make an ass out of themselves.

Indy!

Hey.

Hey, Addison.

Welcome of the dead, huh?

You don't smell like death.

Well, I showered!

I had no idea that death smelled

like a baby shitting vinegar until I started this job.

Indy: Well put!

Learned it from the best.

The best pervert.

No, the best English to sexting truth translator.

Douche-aye.

Yes, we're gonna bring Wilma?

Wilma, will my van start?

Gina: Cute hats!

Thanks, we tried to dress up for you.

Damn, the whole crew?

Even Ariel.

I know, it was so last minute.

It was just meant to be.

Billy's grandma: Goodbye, Billy!

What?

Bye, be careful, take care!