Callboys

This is it.

- Aquadream? Never heard of it. - It's new here.

- Are you going back to the office? - No, I'm going to wait here.

- Here? - Sure.

I can watch a movie in the van.

Each to their own job, right Randy? See you later.

Have fun.

Randy, you're playing with fire.

I'm from Kaulille. Cobbenberg, new district.

- No. - You should visit sometime.

Lovely, isn't it. Lovely spa. Craftsmanship.

- That's a pretty necklace, Wendy. - Thank you.

Selfie?

- Yes. - Don't forget to smile.

I always start by taking a picture. Just a snap with my phone. Always fun.

You've touched each other and you've captured a happy moment.

- Nice, right? - Yes, lovely.

You'll need that for the next step.

Wendy, I'll have to dampen the current mood.

- Oh dear. - Because I have to ask for payment first.

Yes, of course.

I know, it makes it feel cold and unfriendly,

but once that's out of the way, we don't have to think about it

- and we can fully focus on each other. - Yes.

Standard phrase. Get it over with quickly.

And now it's time to shag.

Jump in.

- Why not? - I'm scared.

You can stand.

You won't think I'm pretty.

Hey...

Come here. Take it easy. We've got time.

This often happens in saunas.

Touching is allowed.

Grab me tight.

- I've got an idea. - What are you going to do?

Wendy.

What's your record for holding your breath?

- No idea. I always get water up my nose. - Oh dear.

Mine is 2'30".

- Mieke. - Hey Randy.

- You're tall. - Thank you.

- You too. - I'm standing on the doorstep.

- Come in. - Yes.

Mieke, I just wanted to say, I've only come to talk.

Yes, you said that. Come in.

Stop.

- What's the matter? - I booked you for two hours.

On the site it said that's for one massage and two orgasms.

- Correct. - If I had come now,

would that have counted as one of the two orgasms?

Yes. I suppose.

Luckily I stopped you.

First I want a massage. Then two orgasms.

First vaginal and then clitoral.

- OK. - In that order.

Never forget what you are.

- Where are you going? - To the toilet.

I think I had some bad mince for lunch.

OK, Wendy.

A product someone has paid for.

- Will you take a shower after the toilet? - Yes.

Thank you.

You're a product, but not a cleaning product.

Good morning, Devon.

- Will you do my hair later? - Yes.

Come on.

Good morning, Randy Paret. Everything OK?

- Where is Wes? - In the toilet.

- Red or green? - Green is for you.

You only need the whites, right Randy?

- I didn't get that, Jay. - The eggs. You only eat the whites, right?

- Those are for Devon. - Can you put some yokes on my bun?

Sure.

I love an egg.

In China, they bury their eggs to...

Callboys, good morning, Randy speaking.

Hi, Myriam.

Devon tomorrow evening? I will have a look.

No, he's not available.

Wes?

No, Wes isn't available either.

Yes, I know.

Can I recommend Jay to you?

He's got a ponytail, yes.

No?

No. OK, no problem. No, of course. Bye, madam.

Thanks.

What did she say?

- She was going to look at her calendar. - About me, I mean.

- Nothing. - She must have said something.

Just that you're not her type.

She didn't say eww or she didn't laugh or anything?

No.

Oh, well...

- It happens. - Yes.

Guys, great workout.

- Someone just called for you. - When for?

- Tomorrow evening. - Was I available?

- Can't you go, Jay? - Not her type.

- Not her type. - Oh, dear.

- What? - Is that what she said?

- Yes. It happens, doesn't it? - Sure.

Sure, it happens.

- Randy, this is delicious. What's in it? - Beetroot, celery and rhubarb.

- Rhubarb? Rhubarb. - That's the stalk.

I know rhubarb. I just like the word. Rhubarb.

Snail's shell.

That's another one. And eel.

- The opposite has happened before. - What?

That someone called for me and I was busy, so you were recommended and they said no.

- I don't know. - It has happened.

Randy, has that happened?

Yes, it probably has.

- Here he is. Jay Vleugels in the house. - Wesley, good morning.

Randy, can you have a look at the toilet? It keeps running.

Again? Unbelievable.

- What are we doing? - Having a look at the toilet.

- Eat something first. - Sure?

- Is something the matter? - No, nothing.

Take it easy, man.

- Yes. Thank you, Wes. - It's OK, Randy.

Jay, are you working today?

- Two o' clock, Bierbeek. You? - Sorry?

- You? - Yes, me too. A couple, this afternoon.

Fun job, couples.

Guys, that was Maverick. Tomorrow's meeting is off.

- Was that tomorrow? - Maverick?

Wes, Fonda from Maverick. The one I met at the Erotics Fair.

- Fonda? - You said I could arrange a meeting.

- Yes, I remember now. - What's this about?

- Dildos. - Dildos?

- You didn't make any promises, right? - No, it's just an exploratory meeting

- to see what the options are. - What do we need dildos for?

- We'll make them and sell them on the site. - Make them?

You make a mould of your dick and they will pour plastic versions of it in Czechoslovakia.

- Excuse me? - I've brought plaster.

No, Devon. We hadn't decided anything.

- Why didn't I know about this, Randy? - I discussed it with Wes. He said good idea.

I never said it was a good idea, Devon.

- You said it sounded interesting, Wes. - Randy?

- You did say that. - So you knew about it too.

You don't like the idea because it came through me.

- That's not why, Devon. - That's always why, Jay.

I'm not going to stick my penis in plaster and send it to Czechoslovakia. Come on.

Jay. No one is sticking his penis in plaster before we've spoken to these people.

Jay. Come on.

Devon, can you come and do my hair?

Yes, I'm coming.

- Is it wet yet? - I can't get the tap open again.

For god's sake.

Come on. Oldtimer, right? Oldtimer.

- We're a little early. - Very early?

Just a little.

Do you want music on, Wes?

- Do you want music on? - No, it's OK.

- Rita? - No, Tania.

Apologies. Sorry, Tania.

- Jay? - Rita.

Hi Rita.

- You look great. - Thank you.

You too.

Let me get comfy.

First calm the woman down. Put her at ease.

- How are you? - Fine.

- I knew you were going to be blond. - I'm not a real blonde.

I knew that too.

There you go. The ice is broken. Then you bite the bullet.

- You have a lovely smile. - Thank you.

- I would like to ask you to pay me first, Rita. - Yes, of course.

What's the matter, Randy?

- I have to tell you something, Wes. - What?

- Something I have done. - Is it serious?

I think so.

Will I get angry, Randy?

I think so, yes.

- Would you mind telling me later then? - Of course not.

I've got a client. Two even.

Of course, sorry. I shouldn't dump this on you now.

- Later. - OK.

Will I be very angry?

I hope not.

Sandra and Hugo.

There you go.

- What is this? - A viking coin. For you.

- Is that you? - Yes.

My name is on it. Turn it around. There you go.

Callboys and our phone number.

I order them on a Danish website. You send them a photo,

and they arrive a week later.

Two euros a piece.

Fits inside a shopping cart. Can I have it for a minute?

Here comes phase two.

- Where do you think it went? - I don't know.

Gone.

We've forgotten all about the payment.

More than that, the woman has seen your teeth are clean,

and you're well-kept down below. Two birds.

That's impressive.

Thank you.