Something's Gotta Give

Ah...

The sweet, uncomplicated satisfaction

of the younger woman.

That fleeting age

when everything just falls right into place.

It's magic time, and it can render any man

anywhere, absolutely helpless.

Some say I'm an expert on the younger woman.

Guess that's because I've been dating them for over 40 years.

So, baby, you're rich?

Well, my mother is.

Sort of. I mean, not really.

If she lives within a mile of here, she's rich.

Well, I guess a hit play will buy you a house in the Hamptons.

I'd like to meet your mother. No, you wouldn't.

I mean she's great. She's totally brilliant,

but she's not your type.

You're overlooking one of the great things about me.

I don't have a type.

She's over 30.

Oh, what?

Like you don't know you have a slight reputation for...

For?

For never dating anyone over 30.

It just so happens, my dear,

that women of a certain age don't date me.

You ever think of it that way? No.

It's always me.

Hey.

Uh-huh.

I'll call back Monday.

Say you couldn't find me.

Who?

I'll, uh, call her later.

No, no, I have the number.

Yeah.

Make a right. It's the second driveway on the left.

Right.

Wow.

It's the perfect beach house.

So,

what are we gonna do out here,

just the two of us, for two whole days?

Tell me the truth.

Are you at all glad we waited?

Truth?

No.

But I'm extremely glad we're finally gonna do...

Wanna go for a swim?

How long will it take you to change?

Thirty seconds. Really?

That long?

Oh, Har, by the way, no smoking in the house.

My mom doesn't allow it.

But she allows you to strip in the front yard?

Bring guys you're dating here to...?

She doesn't know everything I do

or when I do it or where I do it.

Okay. The fabulous two-story living room,

which, I predict, we will spend

absolutely no time in whatsoever.

It's a knockout. Thank you.

I'm very good at giving this tour, by the way,

although I've never actually done it

while taking off my clothes.

Uh-huh...

Behind me, the requisite Hamptons deck

complete with pool and ocean view.

Your pants, please.

Ladies first.

Ooh.

You know, when I first started auctioneering, someone told me

if I was nervous,

I should just picture the audience in their underwear.

This gives that a whole new meaning.

You're not nervous now, are you?

I'm always a little nervous.

So put on your bathing suit.

I brought us some champagne. I'll put it on ice.

No, I know. I can't do anything...

Oh, God! What is this? Okay.

Okay, you stay where you are. We have a knife.

Do you live here? Look, mister.

I am gonna dial 911, and you are not gonna move.

Zoe, hand me the phone. You don't understand.

I'm your daughter's friend. Yeah, I don't think so.

My daughter is in the city.

And you, what, you like wander in here, high on ecstasy?

Honestly, if you'd just... No! Just stay there.

I was in the Israeli army. I can break you in half.

Hello. Yes! Yes, I have an intruder in my house.

29 Daniels Lane, Sagaponack...

I'm dating your daughter, Marin.

She invited me here for the weekend.

She's in her room right now, changing.

You're dating my daughter?

Now, who would have thought that would be worse news?

Ah!

Uh, yeah, sorry. False alarm.

No, he's not a burglar.

He's dating my daughter.

Mom, I had no idea you were coming out this weekend

because you said you had to write.

Well, I do, honey, but I thought I would do it out here.

I'm an idiot, I should have told you I was bringing someone out.

I'm sorry. I should've told you we were coming.

Obviously. Anyway, here we are.

Hello, I'm the mother.

Harry Sanborn. How are you?

Oh, God, sorry. This is my friend Harry.

Harry, my mom, Erica. My aunt Zoe.

Sorry about that.

We just totally spur-of-the-moment

decided to just get out of the city for a couple days.

Mm-hm, Good, that's good.

Um, honey, does, uh, Harry have a robe?

You know what?

I think I should just take off,

let you gals enjoy your weekend and...

Ah. What?

Um...

No, no! Oh, I'm sorry.

Of course, don't do that. That's silly.

Zoe and I will leave and you and Harry stay.

And, um, Harry.

I'm sorry. I apologize about the near arrest.

Oh. You were very impressive. Very strong.

Very, uh...

macho.

Well, I don't think I was exactly macho.

Trust me, if I ever catch a guy in his underwear

in my refrigerator

I hope I'm half the man you were, Mrs. uh...

Mrs. uh... Right, okay. Whatever.

All righty, then, I'm definitely gonna hit the road.

Ladies, sensational meeting you.

Doll...

Give me a call. Hold on, hold on,

let's not get so dramatic here. What are we, four teenagers?

We're sophisticated people.

Why don't we all just stay for the weekend.

Your mother has work to do, I have papers to grade.

You'll do your thing, whatever that may be,

and if we wanna hang out together,

we'll hang out together. If we don't, we don't.

There's no reason we should all give up this spectacular weekend.

Seriously.

I can handle it. I can totally handle it.

I mean, well, I can handle it.

Bonjour, Madame Barry. Bonjour, Annie.

Impressive.

She started taking French lessons

after she and my dad split up.

Part of her "keep busy, don't look back" program.

Now she's practically fluent. Marin!

Hm?

Okay. HARRY: Not bad.

Well, yeah. I am fluent.

I'll be right back.

It's an epidemic.

Buy some things.

How about pasta salad?

We had that last night.

We did? I don't remember. Sure. Yeah!

Why don't we get a spread and put it on.

Merci, madam.

Merci.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry about that.