The Nanny

Oh, ha, wow!

Boy, I'd be all over you if I was 10 years older.

Mmm.

Down boy, that ain't gonna happen for another 20 years.

Well, get it while you can.

I may have met someone else and moved on by then.

Welcome to the windmills of my mind.

Come on; What's going on?

You don't usually haul out

the Mr. French collection unless something is up.

Well, Mr. Sheffield swore me to secrecy.

And it has been long enough.

Frankly, I don't know what the secret is.

His grandmother Eloise is coming for a visit.

Oh, what's the big deal?

-He wants you out of the house. -Oh!

Oh, that would be the secret part.

Ah, Miss Fine.

You know, I have been thinking,

you've been looking a little tired recently.

Why don't you take the weekend off? Hmm?

Watch me turn this negative into a positive.

All right.

How about Maui?

I was thinking more along the lines of your parents?

Oh, they burn.

How about Aspen?

Done.

Are you that desperate to get rid of me?

What, you are afraid I'm going to embarrass you

in front of your grandmother?

Who told you?

Niles!

Miss Fine; Please understand.

Every few years she descends on members of the family

to make sure they're up to her standards

or they're out of her will.

And for that you would hurt my feelings

and ask me to leave?

How much more money does a person need?

She is worth 80 million.

Bye-bye.

S04E12

Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

I just wanted to tell you

how sweet I think it is that you begged me

to stay and meet your grandmother.

I believe my exact words were,

"Would you please stop the crying and screaming?"

"I give up. Stay."

Well then you see, I prefer to see the glass as being half full.

Oh, Grandma Eloise.

Oh, I do wish we had known sooner

that you were coming, so we could have...

Moved?

May I?

Oh, Niles.

-So good to see you. -Thank you.

Remember, how we used to have those little talks

when you were a little boy?

Your dreams of becoming a famous barrister.

A member of Parliament.

Life's cruel. Isn't it?

Hello,

I am Francesca 'Fine'

And may I say it is an honor,

nay, a privilege

to be working for such a fancy schmancy family.

Oh, that's an intriguing outfit.

Thanks. I got it half off.

I was wondering where the rest of it was.

80 million.

Well, Grandmother, shall we?

Oh, Eloise,

it is a pleasure to see you again.

C.C.; My dear.

-You always look so beautiful. -Oh, well.

I don't understand. Are you single by choice?

Yes, but not hers.

You know, Maxwell, I'm so sorry that I missed

your play's opening night in London.

I tried to get a ticket for the next day.

But they wouldn't put the sets back up,

get the actors all together for just one person.

80 million, 80 million. Ha, ha, ha...

Sheffield Residence.

Oh, yes.

Miss. Fine; It's your mother. She sounds hysterical.

Oh, she probably just got out of the shower

and saw the mirror has two tucheses.

Oh, and here are the children.

Come;

Kiss your great-grandma.

50 quid to the first one over.

I love you, Nana.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Danny...

Danny Imperiali.

The man I was in love with.

Danny was her ex-fiance.

Oh, not anymore.

He is dead.

Oh, why, why, why?

80 million.

Que sera sera. You want some more, Gran?

Hello.

Oh, Val;

I hope, I didn't dress too festive for a wake,

but I had to wear this.

I mean, in private,

Danny used to always call me his little tiger.

Aw.

What is this? The Serengeti?

Oh, look.

There's Heather.

Who would have thought

when Danny dumped me for her

four years later she was gonna be so alone

and miserable?

Oh, poor Heather. Honey.

Oh, Fran; It's so unfair.

I am too young to be a widow.

-I know. -Who is that?

Focus, Heather.

It's your husband's funeral.

Every time

I look at the bathroom handle,

I can see Danny's underwear hanging there.

He actually hung his underwear up for her?

All those years of me training him

and she reaped the benefit.

I can't believe Danny's gone.

I know.

Who dies from an allergic reaction to back wax?

You know, it's hereditary.

Yeah, he lost a couple of aunts that way, too.

Oh.

Look at him, Val;

Lying there.

The first love of my life.

Boy,

I thought he was indestructible.

I know.

After he forgot your birthday

and you tried to run him over.

-He survived that. -Yeah.

And then when you caught him kissing Veronica Forte...

Val; The point is that...

Oh,

Val.

My sandwich and the olives,

they fell in the coffin.

Go get it.

I'm not touching him.

-Hurry up. -Oh.

Oh, I got a couple.

Oh, my God. Val.

Oh, Val.

My watch is caught on his zipper.

Cover for me.

Her watch is caught on his zipper.

You know;

You are Rain Man without the math skills.

Oh, look, Fran.

They are bringing out the jumbo shrimp.

Jumbo!

I knew that would work.

You are such a 'chazir', Fran.

Hi, there.

Friend or family?

Former lover.

Sorry for your loss.

I know how it feels.

Oh,

Don't tell me he called you

his little tiger, too.

No.

Oh, if it had a pulse, he would...

I never even met him.

I just bit the inside of my cheek.

Oh.

-Harvey. -Oh, Hi, Harvey. Fran.

I meant, I know what it's like to lose someone.

My significant other, Bernard,

passed away six months ago.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Ever since, I just like to crash funerals.

I find it therapeutic to dwell.