Eastenders - 25 Classic Moments

Thanks for the best Christmas ever, Den.

Our last one.

You don't regret staying with me, do you? Don't answer that.

I don't want to get morbid today of alldays.

But it scares me.

I don't think I can keep up this performance 24 hours a day.

Oh, you could keep this performance up for a lifetime.

Like on the Orient Express, like in the bar, chatting up the barman,

"Oh, I've told my husband this terrible lie,

"not a little white one, but a big black one."

Remember, Ange? Because I do.

Because I was sitting four feet away from you lapping up every word.

Six little months to live.

Six tragic, little months and poor old Angie's going to pop off.

That has got to be the sickest joke that you've ever played.

And Den Watts fell for it. Well, now the joke's on you.

This, my sweet, is a letter from my solicitor

telling you that your husband has filed a petition for divorce.

It also tells you to get yourself a solicitor pretty damn quick.

Happy Christmas, Ange.

September. When I was a nipper, that's when we went.

September was the month.

Sometimes, we'd stay over for apple-picking. Some years.

- September, yeah. - Hop-picking.

The whole family used to go.

Blooming great bonfire and everybody laughing and singing.

And me and my mate Billy, we used to go fishing.

We were going to live in the country, my dad said.

No, he was all talk. Just talk.

Emigrate to Australia. But we didn't though.

You shouldn't build people's hopes up and then not do anything.

And when he had a drink, he was a bastard.

Do you know?

He hit her. My old mum, he hit her.

I think I should look at your hand, Arthur.

I'd see this poor old woman with her hands like this.

Frustrated, all her dreams gone.

She was beautiful.

She had beautiful hair and beautiful eyes.

And she had nothing, except an old man that hit her when he was drunk.

And she'd hold this up, this statue.

A bloody old chalk statue, it wasn't worth a rum, and he broke it.

And she said, "You broke it!"

As though it was something special. And it was to her.

I wondered why, and I said, "Why?"

And she said, "It's not the statue, it's not the statue."

And I didn't understand.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah.

We got no friends, none.

Pete and Kathy, they're not friends, to see a sister struggling like that.

Like you said, Pauline's very poorly and you've gotta help.

I tried. I've tried, but they wouldn't take Mum.

Not for just one day.

Not for just one day.

The bastards!

Oh, Harold.

Help me!

For God's sake, help me!

Well, they've done us proud, ain't they? This is marvellous.

No wonder Mo kept schtum, eh?

Good old Frank.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to introduce you to a very good friend of mine, Mrs Frank Butcher.

- Oh, Mo, Mo, Mo. Thanks, Mo. - Thank you, darling.

- I'm starving. Want to eat? - Yeah.

I love ya.

Kiss me immediately!

Here, Frank, leave the lady alone.

You've got plenty of time for that later.

That's no lady, that's my wife!

Arthur! Arthur, wake up!

Arthur!

All right, all right, I'm coming.

All right, what is it? All right, what is it?

- What is it? - Where's the phone? The phone!

In there, in there.

What's going on? What is it?

The Queen Vic, it's on fire.

For God's sake! Will someone call the fire brigade?

I've just done it.

Where's Sharon? Where's Sharon!

What about Phil? What about him?

You slept with him, remember?

Phil was different. Why?

He just was.

Well, I didn't know that the first time.

I mean, one minute I was looking at him, and the next,

ripping each other's clothes off.

And after?

Well, it was like Phil was the nice side of Grant,

without the other stuff.

Think that's why I fell in love with him.

I even thought things would work out once.

When Grant was in prison and me and Phil were together all the time.

Mmm-hmm. Phil must've had some front.

Eh?

Sleeping with his brother's wife in the same bed...

No, Michelle. I don't think either of us thought of it that way.

What about now? It's definitely finished?

Yeah.

Are you sure? Mmm. It wasn't.

Think there was all that stuff over the engagement that went on.

I just wanted to curl up and die, but that's passed now.

What about when you went to see him at the flat

a couple of weeks ago when Kathy was out?

- Grant, please. It's all right.

I know you didn'tgo over there just to wish him good luck.

No, I wanted to see if there was anything still there.

And was there?

I'd only been there five minutes

and we were all over each other again, just like the first time.

You said you didn't sleep with him.

No, no, we didn't, but we could've done.

Grant

Sorry, girls, I was looking for the little boys'...

But I want you, David.

No, you don't, Bianca, you... Look, really you don't. Believe me.

Look, you've been drinking, darling. You don't know what you're doing,

let alone what you want.

I do. I want you.

And you want me as well, don't you?

Bianca, please. Don't do this to me.

Bianca, stop it. Stop it!

For crying out loud, are you trying to drive me insane?

Bianca, you can only push a bloke so far.

Do you know what I mean?

- Well, why, what have I done? - You know what you did.

I don't... Why not? I mean, what's your problem?

I'm your father, all right?

Maybe there was a nuclear war and we're the only ones left.

Yeah, we're bound to come to a road sooner or later.

I mean, we've been walking for a quarter of an hour.

I'm dead.

What I can't work out is how we got here in the first place.

The last thing I remember was being in the strip club.

Yeah, we was drinking with them two geezers.

What were their names? Ken?

Ken and Wayne.

Here, does anybody remember getting on a boat?

What? Phil, tell him to stop winding me up.

- This ain't funny. - Do you see anyone laughing?

- This is your fault! - All right, all right. That's enough.

I'm supposed to be getting married. You can't do this to me.

That ain't gonna solve anything, is it?

I didn't even want to come out. You made me!

- Look, you've ruined everything now. - Wait. What's that?

- What? - (SHUSHING) Listen.

Where's it coming from?

- Over there. Over there.

Come on.

Here mate, here mate. Mate.

Here, hold on.

Here. We're glad to see you, I'll tell you.

Can you tell us where we are?

Do what?

- It's a frog. - I knew it. We're in France!

Please tell me this ain't happening. I can't believe this!

Shut up, shut up a second, will you?

Where are we?

Well, ask him where the ferry is.

- Where's the ferry? - Ferry?

I don't think he knows.

All right, well, ask him if there's a telephone or something.

Is... Look, why don't you ask him?

Um, uh, telephono. Une telephono.

- Telephone? Si, si, telephone.

He says there's a house over there.

- He said maison. That's house. - You can talk French?

I helped Claire with her homework once.

- Why didn't you tell us before? - Well, you seemed to be doing all right.

- Well, ask him how far. - Right.

Um...

How far?

- What did he say? - I'm not sure. It's a funny dialect.

Yeah, it's called French.

Oh, over there.

- Come on then. - Come on, Nige.

How long we got? Three hours?

Give her to me. You're going to hurt her.

Give her to me. Give her.

Please, give her to me. Give her to me. Give her to me.

Grant! I'm going to call the police.

Mum, no. Mum.