Kaguya-sama: Love Is War (かぐや様は告らせたい～天才たちの恋愛頭脳戦～)

First you fall in love. Please be

my girlfriend. Then you confess it.

And find Itrillioneturned in full. Ask anyone

and they'll say, this is a wonderful thing.

But they are so very wrong. Even with the cutest of couples,

there are power dynamics at work.

There's a side that gives and a side that takes.

One who rules and one who serves. A winner and a loser.

If it is your wish to live a noble life,

you must not become the loser. Love is no game. It's war.

Whoever gives their heart first will be conquered.

Welcome to Shoeshine Academy, a prestigious school

established many years ago to serve the

noble and warrior classes of Japan.

Though the class system has been abolished,

many talented students born into wealthy, distinguished

families attend this school. Good to see you.

Are a student body filled with so much

promise and talent can't be led by just anyone. You're heading?

They make the student council look so cool.

This is Kaguya Shinomiya, VP of the Academy's student Council.

Her family owns the Shinomiya Group, one

of Japan's top business conglomerates with over

a thousand subsidiaries worth 200 trillion.

She is the epitome of well-bred refinement.

Her brilliant mind is befitting of her superior lineage,

as are the achievements she's made in various fields,

such as traditional performance music and martial arts.

That's who she is. But enough about her.

Let's talk about the guy she's walking with.

The student council's president, Miyuki Shirogane,

a brilliant student whose name tops the

list of any exam he takes.

Though he lacks Kaguya's upbringing, his devotion to studying commands great respect.

It's rare for a transfer student to be elected president,

but in Shirogane's case, this is a testament to his work ethic.

He bears the weight of a solid

gold braided cord that's been passed down between Shooshing presidents for centuries.

Those two look so good together.

Don't be. Wouldn't it be amazing if they were dating?

Somebody should ask and get the 401.

No way. That would be way too presumptuous. I could never.

Have you heard? We've become a topic of gossip.

People seem to think we're in a relationship.

Why am I not surprised? Best to ignore it.

Such a silly notion. So our peers

think the two of us are dating.

Hormones certainly have an interesting effect on the average teenager's imagination.

Although if she threw herself to my feet

and begged me to go out with her, I might consider it.

And it's plain to see that she has feelings for me.

So it's probably just a matter of time.

Before long, she'll pull off that aristocratic

mask and come to me with a blushing entreaty.

I never realized how ignorant our student body could be.

It's like they've forgotten who I am.

My family is the beating heart of this country.

How did my peers conclude that someone

with my upbringing could ever lower herself to date a commoner?

Well, then again, it's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities.

If he got down on his knees and offered me his body,

soul and hometown, it'd be a start.

He's intelligent enough that I could train

him to be worthy of me. I doubt there's a boy at this

academy who doesn't pine for me.

He'll be howling at my door in due time.

While they carry on with these delusions.

Half a year goes by. Yeah, we're

skipping ahead because nothing happened between then and now.

By the way, president. They found a snail

in the apple and cherry relief on the water

fountain in the courtyard and removed it

before it could do any damage.

My younger sister caught a cold from

taking a dip in the water fountain when it was hot outside.

But that's what you get when you act before you think.

During this romantic stalemate, their tactics have become more aggressive.

This is no longer a waiting game,

but an active battle to see who will confess their love first.

This meant a warfare has raged for months,

completely unbeknownst to its primary bystander.

Oh, that's right. Guess what happened, you guys.

Lucky. Lady Luck was on my side,

and she helped me win these movie tickets.

But then she abandoned me because it turns

out this is a movie my parents won't let me see.

my weekend happens to be free.

If you're free too, I don't see why we has it.

Bad boys and girls who watch it together become couples without fail.

So soon? Eat. I'm flattered. You did

Just invite me to go see this, right?

Which, of course, means you asked to take

me to a movie that makes boys

and girls who watch it together start dating.

Why? If I didn't know any better, I think you were.

Well, confessing my frigging love to her.

Ooh. Yikes. Give your heart and be conquered

in the world of young love.

That's an absolute law for two creatures of pride such as these.

That kind of defeat is not an option.

What do I do? Should I pivot to a plan B?

Well, we could always sell them to a scalper.

Oh, my. I guess even you get flustered from time to time.

You really are quite cute.

Not happening, but my escape routes are blocked on all sides.

Looks like I have no choice but to charge forward.

So do you want to go or not?

I don't put much stock in dumb rumors like that.

However, it appears that you actually do.

I'm still willing to go if you are.

It's totally your call. She knew me

as mine moves at breakneck speeds.

He didn't retract his invitation, but he's

asserting that any romantic significance it might have is coming from me.

Well played, President. I could refuse right

here and now and put an end to the whole affair.

But then all of the planning I did

ahead of time would be for nothing.

I went to the trouble of fabricating

a prize and put it in Fujiwara's mailbox myself. Oh, yeah.

I even made sure it wouldn't interfere

with the president's hectic schedule. It'd be such a waste.

And it's also quite possible that if I turn him down now,

he'll never invite me to anything again.

It's too great a risk. I'm not willing to take it.

Well, you know. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart.

I can't help but believe in stories like that.

So if we do go see it,

I think you should ask me with more passion,

don't you? Playing innocent, skill activated.

It's a negotiating tactic passed down in her family.

It said that this calculated expression and voice

can make even the heart of a God skip a beat.

This mortal high schooler doesn't stand a chance.

Pretty sure I read somewhere it's the man's duty to confess.

He's lost in the maze of his mind.

And of course, she Nomiya recognizes her opportunity and seizes it.

I have to admit, I'm curious about falling in love.

I'm at that age, you know? Oh.

This battle of wits is akin to a high stakes chess match.

She know me as queen has Shirogane's king cornered,

but he isn't out of moves yet.

Two prodigies dueling with all their mental might.

You can hear the wheels churning in their brilliant minds.

Kaguya bolsters her defense. Shin Oguni tries to break through.

It's a race to devise a game breaking strategy.

Whoever forms a plan first will win.

Oh, if neither of you are into romantic movies.

You can have these tickets for Mr. Burton of Birdville.

Bert. Son of Bert Bell. Chaos Theory.

A winner was nearly at hand, but Fujiwara's

casual remark adds an element of anarchy to the equation.

It's just one tiny factor. But much like the big Bang,

the chaos gives rise to countless possibilities.

Our combatants have a lot to process.

If you can't tell from the smoke,

their brains are fried from the exertion.

To keep their strength up, they're going

to need sugar and lots of it.

But the lone source of sugar in the student

council room is this single steamed bun.

Thus, whoever gets that steamy goodness first will win.

I think it's time to head back to class now.

I'll see you later, alligator.

This was but one battle in what will undoubtedly

be a grueling war between two top

students with their pride's on the line.

Yeah, that's right. This thing ain't over by a long shot,

because as long as these two can think,

these two can scheme and scheme, they shall.

What's this? A letter. Oh, my, my.

Yes. It's surprisingly romantic. The boy even

asked me to go to dinner with him.

Wait, you mean he asked you out on a date?

Someone wrote her a love letter. That poor idiot.

Why would he think that would work?

Shinomiya spends most of her days with me and put next to me.

He'll be lucky if he registers as a talking weed.

There's no way she's going to go out with him.

Do you think you're going to go out

with him? Well, sure. Why not? What?

You've lost your mind. Shinomiya blindly accepting

an invitation from someone you've never met.

Writing a love letter like this takes courage.

And he mustered his just for me.

How can I not fall for a boy like that? He's awake.

What do you think? I'm just going

to stand by and let this happen. No way. I won't let you go

on a date with that pathetic weed.

Oh, why not? Does the mere idea

of seeing me wrapped in the arms

of another man not sit well with you for some reason?

You really are quite cute. Asking her not to date this creep

would be as good as dropping to my knees and shouting.

I love you. I won't do it.

I can't afford to go on a blind date. Uh huh.

I think it'll be fun. We're only 12 minutes into episode one,

but I think we know her well enough to know she's lying.

As if I would really go. Does

she grow flowers in her head instead of brain cells, called it?