Calendar Girl Murders

Yeah, right, I got it.

try Hank.

Hank.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I got a little bit of the dog that bit me.

I'm not feeling myself today.

I'll know this song by airtime.

I mean I got no problem with it.

I've been doing this all my life.

Can I go home, please?

Come on, let me go home.

Let's wrap it up, Henry.

Richard's on his way.

Everybody take five.

Remember your positions.

We're expecting you, too, Nathan.

Well, boys and girls,

what do we have that's hopeless so far this afternoon?

Everything is fine, it's just 100%.

Did you manage to re-cut the beginning of the show?

Yes, and I must tell you that it looks great.

We're still doing the history of the magazine

and all the social stuff,

but now the centerfolds are filtered

through there a little more sparingly like you wanted.

Great, it sounds wonderful.

Yeah.

Cleo, I want you to call the police,

get some backup for armed security.

Well, what for?

Because we've had a lot of promo on this show,

and we're on live and we're gonna

have every nut in town in our laps.

Call the police.

Incredible, look at that.

They gotta use a hot airbrush on that, I tell ya.

Airbrush, who cares?

I mean, who really cares?

'Cause, uh, the human body's a thing of beauty.

Right, Hernandez?

Am I right?

What if I don't sign it, huh?

What about that?

What if I just tell them it's

a matter of manpower down here?

Hey, Tony, why do they want homicide

for this paradise thing?

I thought Metro handled security.

What's the matter with you guys?

You don't even care?

Look at this, stoner's leaving, breaking up the team.

What?

I got a transfer.

Yeah, well, I'm not gonna sign it.

Aw, Dan.

You know what it is, don't you?

You're depressed, you just turned 40.

You feel you lost...

I don't wanna hear that.

You know what they call it don't ya, Dan?

Midlife crisis, that's what they call it.

It's called getting tired of two A.M. phone calls

and trips to the morgue, Tony.

Homicide, Brencato.

Hernandez, how do you say

"don't fix it again, Tony" in Spanish?

Maybe he'll understand that.

Yeah right, yeah, they got a copy of it.

They're looking at it here, drooling over it.

Hey, Dan, take a look at this.

Cassie Bascomb, angel of the year.

Sort of makes your hands sweat, doesn't she?

I don't need that.

You are depressed.

Yeah, ray, I'll see.

Not too much, they want homicide.

They want a plainclothes detective

that can blend in with the surroundings.

Hey, Tony, you're looking at your man.

You know what they used to call me in high school?

The chameleon.

Yeah, well, there's just one other little requirement.

Female.

What?

I'll fill you in a little later, Rose.

That's discrimination, Tony, and you know it.

Hey, Dan, will you just come back inside and hear me out?

That's all I'm asking.

Tony, we've been through this before.

So indulge an old friend?

15 years.

I don't know.

Wait, wait, wait.

Tony says bankers hours, no more two A.M. phone calls.

You tell that to Nancy.

Yeah, well, that's exactly what he said last time.

I got to thinkin', well I don't know.

Whether operation is gonna be enough for me.

That's exactly what you said last time.

How am I doing up there?

You're doing fine.

Watch the step, one step down.

I know where the steps are, just look up above me.

Okay, you're fine, you're fine.

Okay.

You're all right.

Hey, what happened to the game?

What is this, cable?

It's called tasteless adult programming.

Come on, Todd.

Hey wait a minute, that's that, uh, paradise party.

Hernandez is working that.

Our Rose?

Our Rose.

Come on, Todd.

I'm watching the game, I just switched it

during the commercial.

Let's go, young man.

Don't strain your eyes, stoner.

Yeah, I get it in the morning, hon.

Ready, two.

And take it.

This party tonight is celebrating paradise magazine's

entry into your living room, so, uh.

Cover up.

I'm peeking.

Mr. Trainor sent a limousine for me this evening.

Thank goodness it missed.

There's so many celebrities tonight.

There's Debbie, Lana, frank, Barbara.

They're all here.

It's packed, full of opulence, and money, and fun

because of Mr. Richard Trainor.

He's so generous, he gave me a group insurance policy.

I get a thousand bucks if I'm killed in a group.

Could you die?

But I am kind of lucky, though.

I made a killing in the market today, I shot my butcher.

Oh, forget the frivolity.

Look who's here, miss congeniality!

Miss January!

Pamela Cummings!

Ah, precious, come in, darling.

Look at this face, ladies and gentlemen.

Not a blemish.

There is a god.

Pam, I'm a great fan of yours.

I have a joke, like the dress you almost have on.

That wasn't it.

Let me ask you a question, Pamela.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

Hello, anybody in?

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

Oh, a stick.

A stick!

100%.

She's brilliant, look at the face.

Didn't I see you at Redford on rodeo last week?

Pamela, can you hear me?

Read my lips.

Didn't I see you and Redford on rodeo last week?

Hello, hello!

Get her off of there.

She's blowing the whole thing.

Get her off.

If looks could kill, you'd be a real angel by now.

But in your case, a little devil, huh, Pam, huh, you get it?

Hello, hello!

We're really not like that.

I mean, people have this crazy idea, you know,

just because we pose in the nude, we're, well, you know.

Well, it's been nice trying to talk to you, Pamela.

Thank you very much.

I just don't want everybody to think

that we're all a bunch of hookers.

Hookers.

She said hookers on TV.

I'll be okay.

Guess who else is here?

They're all here tonight.

You've missed nothing.

Miss February, Kara Alexander.

Come in, precious angel.

Look at this, look at this.

Oh, Gail keating, miss march, is here.

Come in, precious.

Look at these.

Kiss, kiss, kiss.

And speaking of miss march.

March, march, march, march, march, march, march,

I have to go now.

Come and join the fun.

March, march, march, march, march, march, march.

- The hell was that? - The hell was that?

Find out, Charlie.

Take a look.

Oh, my god.

Yeah, stoner.

No, Tony.

No!