Robot Chicken

It's alive!

2x19 - "The Angelic Sounds of Mike Giggling"

- Care for some coconut milk? - Yeah, I'd love some.

Yeah, suck my nuts dry, girl. Mmm!

Yeah, suck the milk right out of my nuts!

What are you looking at? You done it, too.

You've all sucked these nuts!

Coconut tree wins at life!

Fellow Renegades,

today we shall destroy the Guardians once and for all!

Ah, yeah, Screwhead gonna whip all the butts.

Screwhead a mean little Gobot. Got a big old screw on his head.

Screwhead gonna be like pow, pow, smack, pow, pow ...

knocking good guys down.

They all be like, "Who are you?"

- And I'll be like, "Screwhead." - All right.

We are going to launch a surprise attack on the Guardian base!

Ah, yeah! Screwhead gonna be like this ...

Doop, dee, bop, doop, doop!

Guardians be like, "What's that?"

"Oh, it's just a car with a screw in the front."

Then they be all relaxed and thinking I'm not Screwhead.

Then I'll be like bing, bang, bow, bow!

Good guy runs into the other room all scared of Screwhead.

I knock on the door like, "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?" "Not."

"Not who?" "Not Screwhead."

Then he open the door and be all like, "Uh-oh, Screwhead."

Oh, Screwhead, let's cool it with the commentary.

We will attack in two teams. I will command Team 1.

Team 2's leader will be Tank!

Oh, snap! He say Screwhead!

Heck yeah! Y'all be high-fiving Screwhead

'cause he be all leading Team 2.

Screwhead, I-I said Tank.

My bad. Screwhead's not leading Team 2.

Tank is. Love Tank.

Screwhead see Tank in the halls and be all, "S'up, Tank?

How are you doing today?"

Tank be like, "I'm good, Screwhead." I'll be like, "Okay."

Oh me. I-I just couldn't with him, right?

I-I mean...

CSI initial evaluation of Lois Lane murder scene.

Back of victim's head blown outwards,

consistent with a firearm discharge in her mouth.

No powder burns visible.

Hold it together, Kent.

Blood spatter indicates low angle of trajectory.

Hmm. No bullet holes.

Gun would have been about here when he fired.

- Putting her head about here. - Higher.

Here?

- Huh? Huh? - Oh, my God.

Could be the bastard made her get down and beg.

W-Well, I'll kill him myself!

No, her expression reads as total surprise.

- She never saw it coming. - Huh. The chair's facing the TV.

Where they watching something?

Announcer: You're watching the Blow Job Network.

Huh. Is the Blow Job Network on C-Comcast?

- Just asking for a friend. - Any neighbor testimony?

Yeah, old lady across the hall said she heard someone yell,

"Here comes a super load," followed by a noise she described as, uh,

"bear screaming into a megaphone."

And then a cry of "Oh, my God, I've killed her."

I don't know. Call me crazy,

but I think she might have been giving Thor a hand job.

That cheating bitch! She blew me in this chair just last night!

- Uh, I mean, uh, yoink! - Hello, Comcast?

Does my extended digital package cover the Blow Job Network?

Max, what are you doing?

- It looks like you have brain freeze. - I'm doing Kegels.

Mmm. Is that like a mix between a croissant and a bagel?

Uh-oh. I think I just broke my vagina.

Man: We interrupt this program with breaking news.

A powerful 9.2 earthquake has struck off the coast of Europe.

Now back to "2 Broke Girls," already in progress.

You're not going to bandage her labia?

- Where'd you even go to school? - No, no, no, it will heal

if she'll just leave it alone for a few days.

That's like asking a fish not to swim.

Man: An update on the European quake.

A wall of water 90 feet high is expected to reach land within the hour.

Now, "2 Broke Girls."

Oh, your soup's cold, lady?

Well, guess what? I just broke my ...

Oh, my gosh. Whose cat is that?

Man: Ladies and gentlemen, Europe is now under water.

Millions of lives are presumed lost.

Please, pray for everyone affected by this tragedy.

And now back to "2 Broke Girls."

Penis!

Hey. Hey, um, you guys sound great,

but this is my wedding, so I really need you guys

to play a song that isn't about your stones.

But we were just goofy nobodies until we found these magical stones,

which transformed us into rocking heroes!

Yeah, and that's great, but, um, today is about me and Josh,

and you've been playing songs about stones for 90 minutes.

But our stones of power glow.

Look, next up is the father-daughter dance,

so it is very important that you play something appropriate.

Get it?

this!

Stone bros, get off my stage!

Can someone with Pandora on their phone

please come up to the stage?

- Thank you, San Dimas High! - Bill and Ted out!

Yes!

Wow! Oh, my God!

How could anyone follow that? Hoo, hoo, hoo!

Well, here with the last report of the day is Katie Hall.

Whoever said behind every great man was a great woman

must have known First Lady Abigail Adams.

Sorry, Morticia, but I think Abigail was the best Mrs. Adams.