Y2K

- -

Welcome. You've got mail.

We are releasing our fourth

and final quarterly report

on public and private efforts...

... to address the Y2K computer problem.

The report shows that our hard work

-in this country -

is paying off,

and while there is more to do, I expect we will experience

no major national breakdowns

as a result of the year 2000 date change.

['90s electronic dance music playing]

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♪ We've come a long, long way together ♪

♪ Through the hard times and the good ♪

♪ I have to celebrate you, baby ♪

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

- -

Seniors rule the school!

Hey, bitch! Surge, up!

Get over here, junior.

Hey, that's my head!

"XOXO".

What are you doing for NYE?

Huh.

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

Another boring New Year's

at the Mendenhall's for us.

What about you? Any lucky lady gonna get the midnight kiss?

We're just gonna, like, chill and watch a movie or something.

That's good.

You know, there's a lot of weirdos out there tonight,

plus with this whole computer virus bug thing.

-I don't know. -Yeah, I'm sure we'll die

as soon as we leave the house after dark.

-Come on. -Well, I think it's great

that you're not putting pressure on yourself

for the big kiss.

You have plenty of time.

You ever French kiss before?

Your mom taught me in college.

She was ready to go, if you know what I mean.

Jesus Christ.

I don't wanna hear that.

See you next year. I love you.

- Hey, Robin. -

Give him some air, come on.

-Yeah, I'll see you. -Check this out.

Get my news on here and everything.

-You can? -Yeah.

-It's about Enron. -

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

♪ I have to praise you like I should ♪

♪ I have to praise you ♪

-Your mom got a pool? -Yeah.

And you're going for a swim, bitch. Wah!

Whoa, whoa. Watch the Kostons.

Watch the Kostons, though, for real.

Sorry, bro.

- -Ooh, Lord Sticky.

Sire. Come.

Four minutes left, sweetheart.

There's my other son.

How do you look more handsome

-every time I see you? -Pssh. Ah, I don't know.

One of these days,

you're gonna leave me for a Herbal Essence girl.

- -

Dog, stop flirting with my mom.

3, 2, 3, 4.

Damn.

The whole gang in Foreman's basement.

-You bring the shit? -Yeah.

You gotta stop leaving this under my pillow.

I'm the rubber fairy. Okay? It's what I do.

You ready to fuck all night?

Yeah. Hell yeah.

- Blow harder. - I am blowing.

Oh, did you, um...

Did you do your AP Comp essay yet?

Yeah. It was about how you were able

to go through puberty without your balls dropping.

Modern miracle.

It's funny, man. It's really funny.

It was funny. That's why I said it.

['90s rock music playing on speakers]

Andrea.

Uh, I don't know, maybe.

Maybe?

Sticky.

Andrea the Giant.

Andrea the Giant Boobies.

That's literally what they call her.

Dude, I don't know.

They... These girls are like our friends.

God, can you let your cock out to breathe for five seconds?

Or are you still holding out for that hot popular chick

who sometimes talks to you in Spanish class?

Well, Laura, she wrote "XOXO" to me on AIM earlier.

Then fucking ask her out. No.

Isn't she 69ing some college guy?

Community college.

Okay, so he can only get

an associate's degree in 69ing.

Danny, you don't know what you're talking about.

- - We got nip.

She is so mature.

Honestly, those areolas? Fuck.

Computer bug got you ready to break stuff?

Limp Bizkit is ringing in the Y2K apocalypse tonight

- at Crawford Arena. - Check it.

-Oh, dude, play that shit. -Yep.

And we've got two tickets courtesy of Fred Durst.

I've always wanted to do that.

Mmm.

[groovy rock music playing on speakers]

Dude, I've always wanted to see this.

It looks tight.

"Nothing is inconceivable."

- -

Oh, shit, is that Raleigh?

She was like decked out in Abercrombie a month ago.

Yeah.

You know, I heard her parents made her get X-rays

and she had, like, these holes in her brain

from all the ecstasy.

Nah, dude, that's a myth.

Tsk. Whatever, man.

What's up, Garrett?

D-Man, E-Boy, what's good?

Yo.

How about one on the Gar-ster?

Ah, Junior. Arnie's having a baby.

Garrett, can you settle this for us?

Does, um, ecstasy put holes in your brain?

I mean, effects of MDMA

on brain matter are still under broad dispute.

Many studies have been criticized

for lack of evidence, inherent bias, et cetera.

Scientists just be, like, hella un-rigorous.

But, um...

-Yo. -

You foolios want to hit up the champagne room real quick?

-Pssh. Yeah. -Yeah, I'm down.

E-Boy?

Um, no.

- D? -Hmm, yeah.

Wise choice, young squire.

Oh, damn, that's hitting for you right there, fool.

This is the life for me, know what I'm saying?

No customers, just me, the tapes, some bomb-ass kush.

Gets my brain flowing, for real.

I start thinking about some crazy shit.

Like, shit that makes you go, "What the fuck?"

You ever fucking...

You go to the grocery store, right?

And it's like you're picking up shit,

and you're like, "Oh, I'mma grab some Q-Tips."

But it's, like, that's... that's the brand.

It's actually cotton swabs.

Kleenex, that's another one, 'cause that's a facial tissue.

Start thinking about, like,

the fucking first few colonies.

That must have been wild.

Like, "Oh, we're in the country.

Grab your musket. You can borrow mine.

Yeah, sure, you can borrow my musket."

I guess that's why they call it

... the American Revolution.

Words are a fucking trip.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Laser, right?

Laser.

Why'd they spell that with an S?

That's like interesting to me.

See what I'm talking about? Trippy shit.

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