نخستین 186 خط.
There's no doubt about it...
This... is a conspiracy!
That's right...
I am a victim.
Conspiracy...
And I have become been ensnared...
...by a massive...
...a terrifying...
Conspiracy...
...an all-consuming...
Evil conspiracy...
...conspiracy!
-- --
-
I really feel like my brain's
been out of whack lately.
I don't know. Maybe it's because I sleep for 16 hours a day.
And that damn neighbor of mine has been assaulting me
with that stupid anime theme song all day long.
Full blast, every day, for an entire month.
Y'know, I've probably heard that crap a thousand times
and it still doesn't make any sense to me.
What's with this puru-puru stuff anyway?
What, is she jiggly like jelly or something?
That's not even human!
Maybe she looks like pudding, or flan... or whatever.
Puru ri-un. Puru, puru ri-un!
Rin. Ri-un puru, puru, pu puru, puru!
Puru, Puru, purupurupuru...
Shut up, damn it!
Puru, puru ri-un!
Shut the hell up!
Puru, Puru, purupurupuru...
Stop!
That does it. I can't take this anymore.
If I have to listen to that damn song one more time,
I'm gonna lose my mind! I'm goin' over there right now!
It's no big deal, right?
In fact, it's really simple.
All I have to do is open the door
and take a few steps over to their room.
Then I just knock on the door,
They open it, and...
You goddamn otaku!
Turn that shit down!
No problem!
That's all there is to it.
He has it coming, anyway.
Just open the door... right?
I think there's something
wrong with him...
It's those voices again...
He should be ashamed of himself!
People like him are disgusting!
He's such a loser!
I wish he'd stop hanging around here!
He's so gross!
Yeah, I know!
You gotta be kidding me!
It happened during the summer
of my freshman year at college.
I was on the way to school...
...and it was unbelievably hot outside.
I ran back to my apartment
like I was escaping from something.
Since that day...
I've done everything I can to avoid going outside.
Hello, and welcome to Garden Mania .
Today we're going to talk about goldenrod.
Conspiracy...
Conspiracy.
Conspiracy.
Conspiracy!
Conspiracy...
Conspiracy!
Conspiracy?
The world is full of conspiracies, y'know.
The Columbia disaster was a Venusian conspiracy...
It's not just me.
She thought so, too.
It's normal to talk about conspiracies like this.
People do it all the time!
Come on, now, you know that's not true.
Ninety-nine percent of these so-called conspiracies
are just products of people's imaginations.
Either that, or outright lies.
You can't really believe that stuff.
Well then,
what if I believe in the one percent that are true?
We ran into this kid who was being bullied.
He was a middle school student.
I thought it'd be a good chance for me to show off
in front of Hitomi.
Hey, cut it out!
Oh, you want a piece of this?
Let me ask you something, Senpai.
Is this ...some kinda conspiracy, too?
Everyone, be quiet!
Homeroom isn't over!
Shut up!
You're the one who needs to shut up!
Sato!
If you have something to say...
...then raise your hand!
Was that...
...a conspiracy, too?
And that...
...and this...
...and this!
And this, too?!
Even that...
...and that song!
Are they all conspiracies? Is that it?
Conspiracy!
Conspiracy!
Conspiracy!
That's it!
I get it now!
If one percent of conspiracies are actually true,
then I've fallen into that one percent!
Congratulations, Sato!
Ya finally figured it out!
That's right.
The reason why you're such a miserable failure
is because you've been trapped in a conspiracy
aimed at isolating you from society!
But who would do that, and why me?
I'm getting a conspiracy transmission!
What's the matter, Mr. TV?
It's the NHK!
We're being attacked by the evil NHK!
NHK?
I see!
It's so obvious!
Why didn't I realize this before?
When you think about anime...
...you automatically think of otaku .
And otaku tend to be anti-social...
...and anti-social people tend to become recluses!
It all makes sense now.
By airing addictive anime, they're mass-producing otaku ...
And by mass-producing otaku,
they're contributing to the massive emergence of NEET!
So that means...
...the NHK's true identity is...
Nihon...
...Hikikomori...
...Kyokai!
Welcome to the NHK!
I am Tatsuhiro Sato,
the man who uncovered the NHK's evil conspiracy.
At age 22, my struggle begins.
I've been a recluse for over three years now...
Actually in a few months, it'll be four years.
A famous karate master once secluded himself
in the mountains in order to perfect a secret technique
to crush boulders with his bare hands.
If you could become stronger
by secluding yourself...
...then surely I've cultivated enough strength
to crush this beer bottle with a karate chop!
You see that? Who broke the bottle, huh?
Oh, God, it hurts! It hurts! Where's the first aid--?
Okay, before that, I'd better clean up all this broken glass.
-- --It's okay, calm down.
I just have to clean up the glass,
then treat the wound,
-- --and then, and then--
Go away! I'm busy right now, okay?
Besides that, I'm a NEET.
Why the hell would a NEET answer the door, anyway?
No, wait a second!
What if this is about the electric bill?
Crap. I haven't sent them money in a long time.
If they shut off my electricity, then I won't
be able to live a comfortable NEET lifestyle anymore!
That's bad! Really, really bad!
-- --
Yes, hold on!
Jeez, shut up, I said hold on!
-- -- Coming!
Huh?
Oh, good! You were home after all!
I'm so sorry to bother you, but we're going door--
Oh, are you all right?
Your face is bleeding!
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