Ben and Kate

Good morning, Barrington Country Club.

We're expecting a high of 72 degrees today

with a 100% chance of kickass golf.

What's up?

A couple of quick announcements here, guys.

In the dining room, the soup of the day is navy bean.

Second of all, Lloyd, our previous starter,

died last night.

Guess I, uh, maybe should have led off with that.

Kind of buried the lead there.

I guess we should have a moment of silence for old Lloyd,

but I gotta say, guys, death makes me chatty.

So many questions burning through my brain right now.

It's, like, who are we?

Where do we go? Is this world any different

for us having passed through it?

Let's be honest: for a lot of members out there,

these are very relevant questions.

You're kind of on the back nine of your lives.

Anyway, next up on the tee is the Matt Swan foursome.

Wait. Matt Swan?

Ben Fox! Dude!

How's it going?

Come here!

Hey!

Okay. Yeah.

Wow, dude, you're a member here,

so you must be doing pretty good.

Oh, you know, some things worked out for me. And your life?

Really good.

Oh? Six weeks ago I was driving the snack cart.

Now I'm the golf starter.

Yeah, I heard. Sorry, uh, sorry about Lloyd.

Yeah, I was the one that found him.

So you were saying...

Yeah, this job is great for connections, you know?

Gathering up all these investors

for a new business I'm working on.

Nice, nice. I hope it works out for you.

Oh, it will. They gave me a company car.

It's a courtesy van shuttle. Seats 16.

It's got a driver-side, handheld intercom mike.

That does sound... great.

Yeah, suffice to say

I got all my voice amplifying needs taken care of.

"What number comes next in the sequence

one, three, five, seven?"

Is it a vowel?

I think it's got to be a number, Norman.

That's the sound my mother makes.

See you tomorrow, Maddie.

Bye, Norman. Good-bye... forever.

Norman's never gonna pass that test. It's okay

if you guys are in different classes.

And it's okay if you get into the gifted program,

which I am not pressuring you about at all.

You and Norman will be friends for a long time.

I hope so. I like him.

And he doesn't have a dad, either.

Well, you know what's lucky about having one parent?

I know. You love me twice as much.

Mm-hmm. And I bet you that Norman's mom does, too.

Hey, guess who I ran into. Matt Swan. I haven't seen

that guy since we gave up on the idea of going into business together.

Yeah, you guys were gonna do, like, a pizza thing.

I saw it in a dream;

It's crust, sauce, cheese, and then another pizza.

I call it the "Bunk Bed Pizza."

It's like a sleepover...

in your mouth! ...In your mouth!

That was a genius idea.

Why did I abandon that?

Uncle Ben, were you friends with my dad?

Uh, wow, okay. This is happening.

I always imagined this conversation taking place on a rocking chair.

You know, like in front of a fireplace.

Ben, Ben! Here we go.

The truth about... Okay, so can you come

talk to me over here in this area of the house?

Thank God. I was not ready for that. Neither is she.

That's why I'm sticking to the bare minimum until she's ten.

She's a smart kid. She's gonna start asking questions before that.

Shouldn't we just tell her the truth?

What, that I got knocked up, and then

my really cool boyfriend just took off,

literally running down the street?

Add some color to it. What about a puppet?

I could have a sock with some eyes on it ready in five.

And if you don't need the eyes,

I can have it in six. Seriously, okay? I don't want her

asking questions that I can't answer. But I left her hanging.

Ask her about the gifted program.

The gifted program?

Since when is there a gifted program?

There wasn't one when we went to that school.

Yes, there was. No, there wasn't.

Okay.

It doesn't take an honor student to decipher hurtful whispers.

Wow, you look like you took a shower this morning

while someone watched.

You look like you watched someone take a shower

while eating leftover chicken.

Ugh.

- Can I just have a tiny bit? - Ugh! Oh!

Shower chicken? It's getting very serious.

Unfortunately, it couldn't come at a worse time.

- I've got Wendy coming tomorrow. - Oh!

Who's Wendy?

Wendy is BJ's mom. Oh.

It's nice she's coming to visit you.

Please, she doesn't come all the way here to see me.

Whoever me is these days. I've told her so many lies,

I can't even remember who I'm pretending to be anymore.

I once had to tell her I was married to a spy

just so I could tell her my life is top secret.

Why can't you just tell her the truth?

'Cause nothing I ever do is good enough for her.

Okay, but I do love a good backstory.

What happened with that spy dude?

Oh, it was horrific. He was caught and executed.

Oh, my God!

And that's when I had to become a local news anchor

just to make ends meet. She doesn't believe you, does she?

I sent her a tape.

Good evening. I'm BJ Harrison.

And here are tonight's top stories.

Adhesives nationwide are failing at this hour,

prompting worried officials to wonder what falls next?

Stay glued.

So the good news is I am an amazing liar,

but the bad news is

I'm gonna need you guys to be my alibi.

Mm-mm. No.

So you're gonna have to cover for me. Mm-mm.

Ms. West!

So funny seeing you here,

in the teachers' lounge.

So, I was wondering if you could give me a little sneak peek

on how Maddie did on the gifted test.

She did very well.

That's amazing. Thank God. She didn't get

into the gifted class, but she came very close.

- I'm sorry. What? - She did not get in.

- Say it again. - She was not selected.

I don't understand.

Her score was too low.

Her score was so high.

No, too low.

Oh.

One more time.

W-What's happening?

Maddie is a really smart kid. Maybe she's not very good at test-taking.

It can be harder for kids from single-parent homes.

I wouldn't worry about it. She'll take it again next year.

Well, maybe I could just get a copy of the curriculum,

and then I could just teach her some of this stuff at home.

Look, Miss Fox, the kids

are fine not being in the gifted class.

They call themselves the "B-Squad."

We even gave them little bumblebee pins.

Well, some of them poked themselves with it,

so now they have stickers.

But still, Maddie is right where she belongs.

I wouldn't beat yourself up.

Well, who can I beat up, you know?

Just show me where a gifted kid is,

and I'll just take him out,

and then Maddie can slide right in there.

That was just a joke. It was a joke.

Please don't put me on some kind of list.

Excuse me. I have to go rotate my lasagna.

See, it's a pizza that's stacked like a bunk bed.

Wow, I just blew your mind.

Hey, Ben.

Yeah? Can I talk to you?

Yeah. I'll be back to work out the financials.

Oh, hey, can I hold that glass for a second?

Sure. Why?

Because when you hear the bad news

I'm about to tell you, you're gonna want

to smash it on the floor. Wow. Okay. Hit me.

Matt Swan took your bunk bed pizza idea.

What? How could he do that to me?!

We were friends! That was my idea!

Ooh, I want to smash something to the ground!

You were so right to take that from me.

You guys, Maddie didn't get into the gifted program.

What?

And you know what her teacher basically said?

It's because I'm a single mom.

You know what this single mom did?

I stole this curriculum handbook.

I put it down my pants.

Ew! Gross!

It's a good thing I was wearing

these mid-rise jeans today.

Yeah, that's great, you know, for Maddie.

What about the other kids that didn't get

into the gifted program?

Who are missing out