Creator

Good morning, Harry.

Good morning, Brewster.

Good morning, Pavlo.

Good morning, Harry.

Sid wants a sequencer.

He asked me to get your signature on this paper.

He's on duty in the emergency room this week.

I hate paperwork.

I sympathize with you Harry, and any time

that you'd like to give up control of 800,000 bucks

in funding, I'm sure Sid'll be very

happy to take over for you.

Another of the dilemmas in which we are all, Pavolo,

is that are too many damn machines around here.

We're all missing the big picture.

Please, Harry, not today.

Just sign the paper, OK?

A sequencer?

But Sid doesn't need a sequencer, Pavlo.

Once he's done the labeling his experiment is over,

and he doesn't have the room for it anyway.

Oh, he put all of his animals in my lab.

Sid may have the only biology lab in the world

that has nothing alive in it.

I'll tell Sid it's on your desk, Harry.

Pavlo, tell Sid, the big picture.

Morning, Mrs, Pruitt.

How are we today?

We're splendid, Dr. Wolper.

Ready, set, go.

Dr. Novak called, he says that your proposed address

of the medical congress on the profit

incentive and misdiagnosis is really not very funny at all.

He wants a new title, and he says

for you to, quote "come off it, stop the nonsense,

and" et cetera, et cetera.

I am at a very delicate stage in my research, Mrs. Pruitt.

Any news on that student assistant I want?

Oh, yes.

Mrs. Gonzalez from the registrar's office

called with regard to your request for another slave

and wanted me to remind you that she is still waiting to hear

why exactly is it that you permitted

Dennis Scoffman to submit the Bible for his dissertation.

Quote, "it will be a cold day in hell

before I subject another graduate student

to the kind of zoo that," and then she

started speaking in Spanish.

Tell Mrs. Gonzalez I want someone serious-minded

but with some life in him.

Wake up.

I want you so much.

Take my body, Boris.

I'm yours.

If you ever wake up, Lafkin.

Let's go, move your ass.

Time to resume your quest for the ultimate female.

Countdown.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Today is September 1st, young master Lafkin.

On this date in history, Mozart completed his 3th symphony.

Mozart was most likely eight years old at the time.

So far, what have you done with your life, Lafkin?

Have you even answered one cosmic question?

Have you discovered the meaning of life?

Have you at least picked up your clean laundry,

which was ready last week.

You look less than happy today, Paul.

Well, there's been a lot of talk about how happy we'd all

be if you were transferred out to Northfield with the rest

of the old codgers.

They've been giving me a rough time of it, Harry.

But you're so very good at surviving rough times, Paul.

That's how you got to be chairmen.

So what's new?

I'm close to a major breakthrough, Paul.

Oh?

I'm near I need a personal student assistant.

Well, don't they count?

Well, they're near graduation.

I need a fresh, new kid.

Preferably someone who's never heard of you, hmm?

Mm.

Xeno's paradox

for today, if guys are always doing it

and girls are never doing it, how does it ever happen?

And When, exactly was the last time you got laid, Lafkin?

You keep holding out for that special lady

to bring you the Brady Bunch, and you'll

be 105 before you do it again.

All the Spanish Fly in the world won't get up your pecker.

I'm not that patient, Lafkin.

I want my vacuum cleaner.

For three years now you've been promising

me this gorgeous Hoover.

I want my Hoover, Lafkin.

I want my Hoover now.

We're supposed to be getting our lives together, Lafkin.

And forget it if you think graduate school is

going to make one damn bit of difference.

Graduate school--

Hi.

Hi.

Hey.

When did you get back?

About a week to go.

Who'd you get for physiology, Kullenbeck?

No.

I'm not in a single one of his classes this year.

Isn't that great?

You lucked out.

Uh, excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Kullenbeck's lab.

"Cool-en-beck."

Kullenbeck, right.

Do you know--

He's downstairs, end of the hall.

Oh, great, because he's my new advisor.

Did you say Dr. Sid Kullenbeck?

Right. Yeah.

I'm sure I'll find him.

Were you to be his new student graduate?

Yeah.

Pretty girl.

Oh, dear.

Dr. Kullenbeck can't take on any new graduate students

for a while, he's just run out of money.

I just spent six hours in line at the registration.

Well, come here to me and your luck may change.

It happens that I have an opening for one student.

Thank you.

Not at all.

Dr. Wolper.

Harry.

Oh, you have to approve my course card.

Well, Boris, you can forget Kepplmen's Chemistry 300,

Bernestein's Physiology 211, Wolch's Microbiology 245,

and whatever you learn of Cavelli's Genetics 101 will

be redundant by the final exam.

Dr. Wolper, I have to take at least 12 credits to--

Harry.

You worry far too much.

Watch-- Introduction to The Big Picture, 12 credits.

That's it?

One course in The Big Picture, 12 credits?

It's very big.

12 credits probably isn't enough it's so big.

I think I'll go back down to registration.

There are no exams.

Grades ares based on interest and participation.

It's OK with me, I like exams.

My assistantships pay 3,500.

So do everybody else's.

Also, I know the name of the girl you followed into the lab.

I need to think.

Think there.

OK, Harry, where the hell is the?

Doctor Kullenbeck.

Cut the Dr. Kullenbeck back crap.

Where the hell is my new graduate student?

I'm paying him.

I own his ass.

Oh, no you don't, Sid.

You have just blown the last of your money on a sequencer.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

You didn't tell me I was out of money.

Did you ask?

Come on, Harry, I need him.

I'm running a tight, well-oiled machine over in my lab,

and every insignificant little cog counts.

Now, where the hell is the little fucker?

The little fucker is over here, sir.

Good God, he's prime, grade A material,

and you stole him, Harry.

He stole you, didn't he, kid?

Well, the truth is, sir, that ever since I was a little kid,

I've been dreaming of working with Doctor Wolper one day.

It's true, he did steal me.

But not today-- he captured my heart

long ago when I first heard of his wonderful work

with the Guinea Pig.

Rabbit.

Rabbit.

Harry, I'm going to lay you whale shit for this.

Welcome.

That's it.

That's it.

Good, good.

cell dance merrily around the centrifuge.

Add cassium, or maybe cyclic AMP, and lo,

new romances are flourishing between enzymes and proteins.

Mrs. Mallory, this Boris Lafkin.

Over the next few years we will be making him in our image.

So see that the boy eats well.

Hello, Mrs. Mallory.

Nice to me you.

Humph.

You've got two labs?