The Tribes of Palos Verdes

I'm 16..

...already in trouble at school

and unfortunately have blond hair.

My mother liked to joke that natural blonds

were usually selfish

while dyed blonds were pathological liars.

Jim is my twin.

My only true friend.

Jim was the one person in the whole world

I could really talk to.

Who I felt comfortable with.

That may sound kind of fucked up

but it's a twin thing.

Don't worry, someday your hair will be brown

like mine and then people will finally take you

seriously and then it'll turn grey.

And they won't.

In every family, there was that one person

that was the glue that held it all together.

That was Jim.

He was the one who could cheer mom up

when she got down.

I brought out something different in her.

We'd just moved from Michigan to Palos Verdes.

You see, it was always my father's dream

to move to California.

To be a heart surgeon to the rich and famous.

My mother wasn't sure at first about moving.

She said she was allergic to all the Botox

earthquakes and exercise.

But my dad insisted that the sunshine and sea air

was just what the doctor ordered..

...the doctor being him.

How's that pool?

Whoa, don't get the new house wet!

Not on -- Not on the first day.

Oh, look at this.

I couldn't believe they were selling

mass-produced Buddhas at the drugstore.

- I'll take a regular. - Here you go.

Thank you.

Oh.

Hey, I think I see a whale.

- No way. - I do!

Right there, below the seaweed.

- I don't see anything. - Look.

- To new beginnings. - To sunshine!

- To sunscreen. - To us.

Which us?

All of us.

I always said we'd move to paradise, didn't I?

- Yeah. - Let's go down here.

I'm gonna throw you in the ocean.

In school, we learned about people

who came West in wagon trains

to start new lives.

So did my family.

Even my mom was doing her best to be hopeful.

So vast.

Yeah.

We're gonna be happy here.

Yup.

Well, I'm happy already.

This is so goddamn vast.

I wish I could go back and hold on

to that moment forever

and just be happy for everything that we had.

- Hey, Phil. - What?

- Let's not go tonight. - What?

Let's stay home. Let's stay home.

Phil, let's stay home.

It's important to go out, meet new people.

This party is, you know, to welcome us.

Well, it's also important to stay home

and make this our home and fill it with memories.

- I know. - Yeah.

But we already said, we have to go.

- Oh. - Give me a little more.

- Mm, no. - Come on.

- No, no, no. - Yes.

- Look -- - What?

If you want me to get ready

I have to get ready.

We're gonna be late to your important party

and your spray tan's rubbing off on me.

- Phil. Hi. - Oh, my God.

So great to see you.

- Ava, hello. Hello. - Hi. Hi.

Oh. My wife, Sandy.

- Hi, Sandy. - Ava.

- This is exciting. - Yes.

- Fiesta. - This your first night?

- It's our first fiesta. - At the club? Yes.

- Do you like the house? - Oh, my God.

- Oh. - Yeah.

So you're a cardiologist?

Yes.

I read all about you in the "Best Doctors."

You invented that cardiovalvola, right?

I'm impressed. You've done your research.

Well, I used to work as a drug rep.

I tell ya, when you've held

a, a beating human heart --

Excuse me.

I can't even look at raw liver.

I mean, I'm totally vegan.

- I'm Jim. - Nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you. I like this.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, welcome to the club.

Thanks.

You just moved to town?

Are your kids here?

Uh, yeah, they're here somewhere.

That's what we love about the club.

We never have to worry about them.

Oh.

Let's go home.

Let the kids hang out with their new friends.

Could you just, just try to act

like you're having a good time, alright, baby?

- I am trying. - OKay.

I don't know if these Xanax

are even working anymore.

Maybe ease up on the taquitos.

They work better on an empty stomach, alright?

Let me guess, your father is a, a finalist

in the limbo competition.

Yup. He's wearing a sombrero.

I knew it.

So I was reading this thing about

how whales go to Mexico to have their calves

and then they travel back with them.

But they have these half-day trips.

We can go out on boats and you can see them.

Oh, honey, 6 hours on a boat?

Oh, God, you'd die of boredom

and seasickness.

Yeah, it'll be probably pretty lame anyways.

Look at Jim.

He does take after his father.

I don't know who you take after.

You -- You're..

...your own special person, honey.

That's good.

Hm.

I'll go find el senor.

Oh, get us out of here.

We learned at school about the tribes

that originally inhabited PV.

The Chumash and the Tonga Native American tribes.

There are new tribes now, of course.

Hey, what's up with your sister?

Why doesn't she come hang out with us?

My father said things would be different here.

But I knew Jim would want to be popular

and I wouldn't.

Oh, she just does her own thing.

That's cool. That's cool.

Yeah. She's awesome.

Phone down in the back, please.

Anybody offer any opinions? Do you remember?

Does this ring a bell, the word mana

when we studied Proper Asia and Polynesia?

Their society was structured..

Hey, wait up!

Property always sold fast in Palos Verdes.

People liked that the grass

had to be kept green and cut attractively

that the walls of each house

had to be painted every 3 years

and that the buildings were required

to have tiled roofs.

The beaches were maintained daily

with special machines to clean the sand

and thresh, mix and spit it out

into crystals of immaculate white powder.

The police knew each family by name

and by make and model of their car.

There were no lights on the football stadium

because the locals didn't want anyone

from out of town there after dark

or anywhere in PV, really.

The beaches were not private

but they might as well be.

The residents didn't want any outsiders

ruining their zillion dollar views either.

There were no streetlights

fast food stands or apartment buildings.

All outlawed by the city ordinance.

A chaos of stars filled the skies of Palos Verdes.

But everything else was regulated.

Wow.

- Whoo! - Hey! Hey!

Hey, keep it down!

Do you know how late it is?

Oi, lady. Go back inside.

I'm gonna call the police.

Go away!

Don't be bothering 'cause we'll be louder!