Dimension 404

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In the darkest depth of cyberspace,

there is another world.

A lost dimension, home to wonders unseen,

terrors unspeakable.

Stories unlike any ever told until now.

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Dimension 404.

Life is a lot like Frogger.

Chaos surrounds us

and death is everywhere you look.

To survive in Frogger and in life,

you have to obey two simple rules.

Keep thy‐‐

Hey, what are you doing in there?

Uh... nothing?

Well, shake a leg.

You're gonna be late for church.

To survive in Frogger,

and in life,

you have to obey two simple rules:

Keep thy head down.

Run like hell.

On the highway of life,

every second can be your last.

If you wanna make it across the road,

you have to see trouble coming

and avoid it at all costs.

Hesitate and you're dead.

Stop and smell the roses‐‐bam.

You're pushing daisies, pal.

Don't be a hero, don't show off,

just follow the arcade commandments.

And above all else,

try not to get eaten.

You're really good.

Oh, uh... yep.

Think you'll get a high score?

I'm actually trying for a kill screen.

Oh.

What's a kill screen?

It's when you get a score so high,

it crashes the game.

I'm really close to getting one, so...

Wilma, I think this game's busted.

It ate my quarter.

No quarters‐‐hit the bricks!

Oh, man, this place sucks.

Hey, you go to Jefferson.

I've seen you at the bike racks.

I just moved here.

Do you wanna be friends?

Mom says I have to try to make friends this time.

‐I'm Amy. ‐Amy, I really need

to focus here.

Hey, Wilma, I am so sorry that I'm late.

Wow, that guy is hot.

Huh?

‐Oh! ‐Did you get it?

Did you kill the screen?

Huh, he wishes.

Can smell that pizza now, Myers.

Is that, uh, pepperoni or fine Italian sausage?

In your dreams.

Free pizza?

Only if he gets the kill screen before I do.

Oh, well, now you're both in trouble.

Hey, you're welcome for your mail, by the way.

Mail? You get your mail delivered to the arcade?

You do when your parents think that video games are the devil.

If anybody asks, he's at Bible study right now.

Oh my God.

What, is that it?

Bits 'N Blips.

Well, go on, man, open it!

"Dear Andrew.

Thank you for your recent submission,

'Conquering Centipede in 100 Simple Steps.'"

"We found your writing to be both informative

and enjoyable," see, dude?

I told you they'd like it.

"Unfortunately, as Centipede is an older title,"

blah, blah, blah, "write about a newer game

if you ever want to get published."

You shoulda wrote about Millipede.

That game rocks.

I'm... sorry, who are you?

I'm Amy.

Well, bad news, Amy.

This is the only arcade in town,

and this place is in the middle of nowhere.

We never get any new games.

Come on, buddy, it's not that bad.

I'm sure you'll find a way out someday.

It's official.

‐I'm going to die in Beaverton. ‐Okay, that is not true.

One day, I'm going to be able to tell

every single kid that comes in here

that I was once best buds with

the great video game journalist Andrew Myers.

Thanks.

Hey, what are you‐‐

For my scrapbook.

You guys wanna play another round?

I should probably go.

I'm out of quarters anyway.

‐You're out of quarters, then‐‐ ‐I know, the bricks.

I'll catch you guys later...

if I live that long.

What's this?

Huh?

Poly‐bee‐us.

Poly‐buy‐us?

Weird.

Hey, Wilma.

‐How long have we had this? ‐Get back to work.

I mean, if it were new,

we would have heard about a release or something, right?

There's always ads, previews, and junk.

I bet it's a beta.

A what now?

When they make a new game,

sometimes they place a prototype into the wild,

you know, see what the kids think.

‐They call it a beta. ‐A game so new

it's not even out yet.

Bits 'N Blips'll flip!

I'd watch out for that thing.

Why is that?

It ate my quarter.

If you aren't careful, it'll eat yours too.

Scram, kid.

‐You'll be sorry! ‐Jess!

Ah‐‐well, I gotta get back to fixing the Robotron machine,

but I'll catch you guys later, okay?

Welcome to 1984‐04.

If you're jonesing for a rose‐colored ride

down memory lane, you're in the wrong dimension.

Because tonight, the nerd doesn't get the girl.

The bully doesn't get what's coming to him.

Tonight, a kid living life on hard mode

tries to survive it one quarter at a time

and discovers the things in life

no man can escape.

Heads up, freshman.

What his heart wants,

what his mind fears,

and whatever the hell is in Polybius.

Hey, swimming laps today, ladies.

And no one dips a toe in my pool

without showerin' off first.

So get stripped and start scrubbin'.

‐Whoo! ‐Hey!

No, none of that homo stuff.

Man, why is it these jerks are at the top of the food chain?

Keep your head down and keep moving.

We'll make it out the other side.

Screw that, man, I'm takin' a shower.

Dude, are you crazy?

They can't kick all our asses.

Freshmen...

What do we have here, huh?

You wanna shower with the big boys, Dennis?

Huh?

You know what, faggot?

You just won yourself a visit from the magic finger.

No, you're just messin', right, man?

Here's the deal.

You can beat me up, but don't give me the finger.

What's the matter?

You afraid you're gonna like it?

You can stay and play too, nerd.

‐Uh... ‐Please, don't leave.

I'm sorry, man.

Now, can I get a drum roll, please?

‐'Kay, me first! ‐Nope, sorry.

Quarter.

All right, Bits 'N Blips.

Here I come.

No‐‐no, come on.

‐Okay. ‐There it goes.

Oh, a maze game.

Okay.

Is that all you do is wander around?

Real scary.

Your souls are mine.

What is that?

He's getting faster.

‐He's gaining. ‐There's no exit.

This is weird.

You just rack up points until you die.

Let me try again.

You're just wasting your quarters.

Hold on, I got this.

Come on.