The Ambushers

All controls are go. All power is go.

Switch controls. Prepare to launch.

Control to pilot.

Checklist complete for test flight.

Stand by for power.

Force field established. It's all yours.

If this works, the planets are next door

And the universe is just around the corner.

Vince? Vince, what is it?

It's... it's jammed.

Uh, what happened?

Everything is jammed!

One of the main reasons for this refresher course

Is to keep you up to date on the latest methods and weapons.

This little gadget here dissolves metal electronically.

Easy to conceal, extremely effective in times of danger.

That's when the danger usually starts.

I like my way better.

Now if you ladies will follow me over here.

Lucky Linda!

Yes, imagine, working on a field problem with him.

How do you like that?

I didn't even get to squeeze the trigger.

Oh, when you say you're a 38, you ain't just kidding.

It's not a gun, Mr. helm.

It's a new weapon they gave me,

Developed right here in our lab.

And developed pretty well, too.

Here, I'll show you.

If you'll turn around.

Are you aiming or just being modest?

I'm sorry I tricked you, Mr. helm, but may I point out...

You already did.

That that's why you're here:

To become familiar with our latest equipment.

You're right. An agent should always keep abreast of the times.

You see, it's sewn right into the stays.

A retractable gun barrel. Fires on contact.

Hmm. Hey, that's some kind of crazy holster.

Well, I guess the lesson's over with for today.

Now, where were we?

Oh no, you don't.

Those things come in pairs.

That's him.

Really?

Matt helm.

Don't shoot.

Help me! Help!

Whoa, honey.

He's trying to kill me.

It's all right, Sheila.

Sheila?

Please.

Sheila sommers?

Do you know her?

Yeah, we worked an assignment together.

Don't you remember me, Matt helm?

Come along, Sheila. Everything's all right.

Come along.

Attagirl.

She thinks every man is trying to kill her.

When I knew her, she'd kill them right back.

What's the story?

That's what we'd like to know.

She stumbled out of the jungle a few weeks ago.

Beat up pretty bad. In deep shock.

Can't remember anything.

She's going to be here a long time.

Long-distance call for you, Mr. helm.

Hop aboard.

I go pretty fast.

Better find something to hang on to.

Crazy.

When am I getting out of here?

You're not.

Come on, Mac.

I don't need a refresher course.

Every girl here is built like the aberdeen proving grounds.

You're not there for a refresher course.

Not anymore.

Matt, do you remember a girl named Sheila sommers?

Yeah, I just bumped into, well, what's left of her.

What about her?

I don't want to discuss it now.

Your secretary's on the way.

You'll find out a few things from her.

You told lovey?

Well, no, not exactly.

But, heh, you'll get the message.

Mr. helm, it's time for your fencing lesson.

Hmm?

Fine, now it's the guns of navarone.

Where are you from, bridgeport or some place?

I'm from Paris.

And we French are using more and more girls in our work.

It opens up a whole new area.

Yeah.

Tres bien, monsieur.

En garde.

Right, then maybe later on we'll do a little fencing, too, huh?

How are you feeling underneath there?

Just fine.

You just look lovely.

Gil, we have Sheila sommers here.

You said you'd give her an appointment.

Sommers? Sommers.

Yes, of course.

You're lucky we can squeeze you in today.

She looks like she was squeezed in

Long before she ever got here.

We want her to feel like a beautiful young woman again.

Have you tried prayer?

We've tried everything.

Oh, that's Matt helm's secretary.

What's her name?

Lovey kravezit.

Lovey kravezit?

What would you call her?

Ok, miss kravezit, you're cleared.

Thank you.

And thank you.

Would you like powder or cream?

Surprise me.

I'm just a masseuse.

You surprised me.

Relax, you're all tensed up.

Mr. helm, I just this second got here.

Oh, am I interrupting anything?

No, she's just a masseuse.

I think I've got everything you want.

Yeah.

I brought your electric toothbrush,

And I even brought your mouthwash.

Oh, only 36% more cavities.

But you don't care.

Will there be anything else?

No.

Yes. I'll meet you in the steam room.

Relax, you're all tensed up.

Well?

Here?

We're alone.

I guess it... I guess it's kind of romantic.

Haven't you got a message for me?

You always said I did.

From MacDonald.

Oh, no.

No message? Are you sure?

Well, there are messages and there are messages.

That's the way everything's been going around here.

Haven't they taken good care of you?

There's taking care and there's taking care.

There must be something, I mean,

Some little something that I can do for you.

Oh, poor Mr. helm.

Ok, Matt, hold it right there.

I knew you'd get to it.

What is this?

Candid brassiere?

Now listen.

I'm all ears.

Stop whatever you're doing.

I can't hear a thing.

Sheila sommers holds the key

To the most serious crisis our country has ever faced.

Get close to her, Matt.

That's your assignment.

I want you on top of this from morning to night.

I beg your pardon.

And furthermore, Matt,

Don't let anybody there know what you're up...

Hmm, so much for his message.

Now, about your message.

Who's Sheila sommers?

Hmm, that's what I say.

Mr. helm, it's time for your physical.

I'm way ahead of you.

Your attention, please.

As part of your final examination,

Here is today's problem.

Imagine that you are a group of strangers

Sharing a compartment on a European train.

One of you is supposed to be a secret agent