Block-Heads

One more minute and we'll be going over.

- The men are all ready, sir. - Okay.

- Private Laurel. - (EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE)

You stay here and guard this post until relieved from duty.

Gee, I wish I was going with you.

Take care of yourself, won't you?

Don't worry about me, Stan. I'll be back. We'll all be back.

So long, pal.

You brainless idiot!

What are you trying to do?

Put that thing down!

War is war and I've got my orders.

- What orders? - Orders to guard this post.

You block-head!

The war's been over for 20 years.

It doesn't make any difference. When I'm told to do something...

What did you say?

I said the war's been over for 20 years.

Eh?

The war's been over for 20 years!

Ha!

How time flies.

Just seems like yesterday.

- What did you say? - You heard me.

- Well, that accounts for it. - Accounts for what?

Well, everything's been kinda quiet around here lately.

- See, I... - You better come along with me

and I'll see that you get back home.

Well, it's been over...

Well, it's better than staying here.

Thanks very much.

Are you sure the war's been over for 20 years?

Positively. I can prove it to you.

Well, if it isn't, somebody's going to get into an awful jam.

- And believe me... - (CHUCKLES)

Paper! Morning paper!

Were the eggs done enough this morning, dear?

Is there anything else, dear?

I almost burned my finger on the bacon this morning.

Light of my love, you've got something on your mind.

You can't fool your baby Oliver.

Oh, Oliver! You don't even remember what happened a year ago today.

Was that the day I fell off the bicycle and skinned my knee?

No, Oliver. Now just try to think.

It had something to do with you and me.

I give up. I can't quite remember what you mean.

Unless it was the day we got married... That's it!

It was just a year ago today that you came into my heart.

How could I forget?

Congratulations, Mrs Hardy.

Of course, I didn't forget.

We'll celebrate. That's it. We'll have a party.

Oh, Oliver! (CHUCKLES)

How I've looked forward to this day.

I planned to prepare a dinner just for the two of us,

as I did a year ago tonight.

You're so sweet and I'm such a cad.

No, you're not.

We'll do anything your little heart desires.

- We'll have a nice quiet dinner... - Uh-huh.

and after that, we'll sit and hold hands

and I'll whisper sweet little nothings in your ear.

Oh, Oliver!

This is wonderful. And you are so wonderful.

Here, I wonder if I could have an extra dollar with my allowance today?

Oliver, isn't 75 cents a day enough for you?

Well, usually it is, but today is different.

I wish you wouldn't ask me what I'm going to do with it.

It's to be a surprise.

Oh, Oliver, of course.

You can have a dollar and 25 cents more. Today.

Well, there's one more thing.

Do you mind if I use the car? Because I'll only be gone one hour.

Oh, of course not. But be careful and hurry right back, won't you?

Thank you.

I won't even say goodbye, my precious little Fig Newton.

I'll just say pardon me for one hour.

- Oh, good morning, Mrs Gilbert. - Good morning, Mr Hardy.

Gorgeous day, isn't it? Bright and cheerful, and so forth.

- Oh, it's a lovely day. - This is quite a day for me.

My anniversary and... Mrs Hardy's, too.

I have a reason to celebrate myself.

Mr Gilbert is coming home after two months hunting in Africa.

Oh, fine! Then we both have a reason to celebrate.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Oh. It's all right. I'll get them. Just a moment.

Oh, hello, darling. This is Mr Hardy.

My husband, Mr Gilbert.

How do you do, Mr Gilbert?

Uh, you came back rather unexpectedly, didn't you?

I dropped my newspaper and Mr Hardy was helping me pick it up.

Yes. You see, we were holding hands...

We were shaking hands and the newspapers fell out from under her arm.

Well, I guess we can get up now.

Well, I guess we'd better be going. Goodbye. I'm glad to have seen you.

Oh. Excuse me. My mistake. I'm sorry.

Oh. There you are. Goodbye. Oh... Goodbye, Mr Gilbert.

And who is that snake?

Well, that's Mr Hardy. He's our neighbour from across the hall.

Come in, dear. It's so nice to have you home.

Good morning, James. What's the news this morning?

Good morning, Mr Hardy.

I was just reading about a fella that stayed in the trenches

for 20 years after the war, and didn't know it was over.

Well, how in the world could anyone be so stupid?

- I don't know. Here's his picture. - Oh.

I can't imagine anybody being that dumb.

Oh, yes, I can!

Out, please.

Thank you.

Quite all right, sir.

Down, please.

I don't see him just now,

but you'll find him out there on the grounds somewhere.

Thank you.

- Ollie! - Stan!

Don't get up now. Sit right there.

- How did you know I was here? - I saw your picture in the paper.

- Did ya? - Yeah.

- How did I look? - Well, you haven't changed a bit.

Neither have you, too.

You know, if I hadn't have seen you, I never would have known you.

- Gee, I'm glad to see you. - I'm glad to see you, too.

- Have you missed me all this time? - I certainly have.

I missed you, too.

Well, how's things and everything?

Oh, everything's just fine. You know, I got married.

- You don't tell me? - Yeah.

- Who did ya marry? Fifi? - No.

- Er, Lulu? - No, no.

- Camille? - No.

- I know. Fanny. - No. No. You wouldn't know her.

- She's a local girl. - Oh.

You just wait till you meet her.

She's one of the finest little women that ever lived.

- Don't tell. - And can she cook!

- Can she? - Can she?

You just wait till you put your legs under that table... Pardon me.

You just wait till you put your leg under that table

and put your teeth into one of those big, thick, juicy steaks

covered with mushrooms,

and those hot biscuits oozing with molten butter.

And those seven-layered chocolate cakes

swimming in whipped cream.

Any beans?

You can have beans if you want 'em.

You can have anything in the world you want.

Well, it was nice of you to call, Ollie.

I hope you'll come around see me again sometime.

I've got to be going now.

Where are you going?

Well, it's call for mess, and I've got to eat.

You are not going in there.

You're coming home with me to meet the missus.

Am I?

And have one of those big, thick, juicy steaks.

- Thank you, Ollie. - You're welcome, Stan.

I want you to remember, from now on, my home is your home.

- Thank you, Ollie. - You're welcome, Stan.

And I'm never going to let you out of my sight again.

- Thank you, Ollie. - You're welcome, Stan.

Just sit back and relax.

Gee, I'm sure glad to see you, kid.

Gee, Ollie. You know, this is just like old times.

You and I being together.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

We sure used to have a lot of fun, didn't we?

We sure did.

- You remember how dumb I used to be? - Yeah.

- Well, I'm better now. - Well, I'm certainly glad to hear it.

Say, will you wait a minute, Ollie?

- What do you want? - I want to get a drink of water.

Now, you sit right there. I'll get the water for you.

Well, I only want to get over to the faucet tap.

Well, how can you get over to that faucet?

Now, you just sit there and relax and I'll be right back with it.

Hey!

Come on, lug. Get outta that chair.

Just a minute. What do you mean insulting my friend?

That's my buddy's chair and I want it.

I'll give it to you when I'm good and ready.

- Is that so? - Yes, that's so.

Well, are you ready to give it to me?

On second thought, yes.

Don't exert yourself, Stanley. I'll carry you.

Are you comfortable?

Thank you, Stanley.

We haven't got much further to go now.

Well, here we are.

Is this your car?

That's... No, I got it. That way.

Now I'm nearly in. All right.

There's one...

Come here!

Why didn't you tell me you had two legs?

Well, you didn't ask me.

Get in the car!