Futurama

Coming this fall.

Some cops can read minds.

Did you do it or not? I'm not a mind reader.

Some cops can see the past.

I could solve this crime

if only I had personally watched it happen.

And some cops get help from angels.

Come on, Gabriel, you must have seen something!

Nah, man, I ain't seen nothing for no cop.

But there's still one cop

with no special abilities whatsoever.

Ah, there's only one way to know who committed this crime.

I'll just have to... find out.

Detective Klaus Mandela is...

_

This truly is the golden age of television.

Hey, Papa, want to help me earn a merit badge?

Hmm? Sorry, son.

Right now, NBC needs my love more than you do.

Lrrr!

Either help the boy, or go outside and degauss the lawn!

Oh, very well.

Merit badges.

Ah, this brings me back.

Oh, Bone Whittling.

I used to love that.

Patricide.

Well, let's work up to that one.

How about Skull Arranging?

That is for Grrrl Scouts!

Men bring the skulls home, women arrange them.

I'm gonna help you earn a manly badge.

Planetary Invasion!

Ah.

But that's really hard.

Hard shmard.

I'll let you invade the easiest planet in the whole galaxy.

Good news, everyone!

I'm in terrible pain.

- How is that good news? - It's not.

I've run out of Good News brand herbal supplement.

If you don't get me more Good News, everyone,

my arthritis will make me seize up like a dried monkey carcass.

I've seen those.

In the Great Monkey Desert.

We interrupt your TV being off

for this special bulletin.

An alien saucer has been detected en route to Earth.

We now go live to the White House lawn,

where such things usually land.

Go on.

Ring the bell and invade them.

Yes?

Um, hi?

I-I'm Jrrr, of the planet Omicron Persei 8.

Uh, what's that? Speak up, son.

Don't look at me.

You're invading him.

I just wanted to know-- well, I'm here to invade your planet?

Oh, what a cute little...

Uh-oh.

Brannigan!

Get out here and surrender

before I get my expletives deleted!

And Earth is yours.

So, sire, how may I please you?

Go ahead.

His bowels aren't gonna disem themselves.

Can't we just go?

Mm-mm.

Not until you blow something up.

Aw, man.

Uh... uh...

Just pick something and blow it up

so I can get home in time for The Finder-Outer.

Oh...

What the...?

All right, good enough.

Let's go.

He killed my second-to-last Agnew.

Rosemary!

Sweep the booze bottles off my desk!

I'm addressing the planet.

First, brush your teeth!

Yeah, yeah.

My fellow Earthicans,

a great American monster has been silenced.

Clone of Agnew is gone,

killed in his clomping shoes by ruthless Omicronians.

But we're gonna get even, by golly.

Aw, crap, he's on every channel!

Effective immediately, I'm calling for

a planetary embargo against Omicron Persei 8.

Where's my Hot in Cleveland?

All trade with the Omicronians stops today.

And that includes cultural exports.

Cultural?

I'm talking about TV!

Nixon out!

Arroooo...!

No...!

...oooo...!

Well, I never liked going to Omicron Persei 8 anyway.

If we want to breathe sulfuric acid and get our heads torn off

by giant lizards, we can always go to Gary, Indiana.

Even I would never send you to Gary, Indiana.

But I am sending you to Omicron Persei 8.

Oh, my gosh, are you kidding?!

You see, the active ingredient in my Good News

herbal supplement grows only on Omicron Persei 8.

And due to the embargo, the only place to get it

is straight from the source.

The deadly, deadly source.

I will not endanger this crew for some quack remedy.

Ha! The Sacred Weed of Omicron is a serious herb.

Sacred Weed you say?

Sweet toke of Ocracoke, this stuff's the Omichronic!

To the ship!

We can't get through.

The planet's blockaded.

That won't stop us.

Activate cloaking device.

There's no such thing.

Then engage deflector shields.

That's from TV, Geordi.

Well, what sort of stealth technology do we have?

A can of paint.

Sir, there's an Omicronian ship

requesting safe passage home.

Home, eh? That's where I live.

Let them through the blockade.

Okay, buddy up and look out for Omicronians.

It's up to everyone to get their partner back alive.

Fry, you go with Bender.

Amy, with Leela.

And I'll go with...

Screwed again, my friend.

Hey, Bender, you better check your ass.

I think it's leaking enchantment.

That's not enchantment, it's the herbs!

Bender's electric field

is activating their bioluminescence.

Whoa!

We'll need scientific samples.

Everyone, start filling these dime bags.

Whoa, a palace!

Parapets, battlements,

everything my Big Book of Castles promised.

I'm gonna sneak a closer look.

Bender, you'll let me know if we have to cheese it, right?

First Law of Robotics, baby.

Five-O, five-O!

Five what?

Five Omicronians!

Everyone, grab your buddy and get back to the ship!

Coming through!

Is everyone on board?

I got my buddy.

Hermes is my buddy.

Bender, where's Fry?

I saw him in the, uh, kitchen.

With Dinah.

You know, the dyno-matic food-service robot.

Let's go already!

I smell the stink of Earth humans.

Fan out!

They got away, Your Scaliness.

We must have just missed them.

The ground is still warm.

I want my Earth shows!

These local programs are completely unwatchable.

Hey, Pops, want to play skull ball?

I'm watching something here.

Hello?

Ow!

Uh, y-you can come out.

Don't be s-scared.

Mmm.

You're an alien?

Do you speak English?

English?

You must be a terrestrial

from that Earth ship they were hunting.

Don't worry, I won't hurt you.

Hey, thanks.

You want some candy?

Ew. You were eating my turds?

Feces pieces?

Blech!

You must be hungry.

Really hungry.

Come inside, I'll feed you.

Okay, but I'm kind of picky.

I'm gonna call you "T."

For terrestrial?

No, "turd-eater."

But I have to hide you from my dad.

He's really mad at humans

'cause he can't watch television.

Your dad must be Lrrr!