The Irishman

When I was young, I thought house painters painted houses.

What did I know?

I was a working guy.

A business agent for Teamster Local 107

out of South Philly.

One of a thousand working stiffs...

until I wasn't no more.

And then...

I started painting houses...

myself.

In this particular matter,

the whole thing was built around the wedding.

Bill Bufalino's daughter was getting married in Detroit.

Bill was a Teamster lawyer, but more important,

he was Russell Bufalino's cousin.

Now, Russell didn't want to fly,

so I was gonna drive him to the wedding.

He wanted to take care of some business along the way,

which in Russell's case meant only one thing:

Money... collecting it.

So we'd drive.

Him and his wife Carrie and me and my wife Irene.

Or I call her Reenie.

I figured we would take 476 out of Philly,

and then we go up to Pittston

and pick up Russ, which is usually how we did it,

and then Interstate 80 West

through the rest of Pennsylvania,

and then we'd go across Ohio, all the way to Toledo,

and then we would go 75 North to Detroit.

It was gonna take about three days

with all the business breaks and cigarette stops,

since Russell didn't allow nobody to smoke in the car.

He says Jimmy Blue Eyes and Meyer Lansky

convinced him to stop smoking when they were getting kicked out

of their casinos in Cuba and getting shot at by Castro.

I don't know. It might have been one of those,

"Please-God-if-I-ever-get-out- of-this-fucking-thing-alive-

I'll-never-smoke-again things too."

But I do know that from Castro on,

Russ wouldn't allow nobody to smoke in his car,

not even Carrie.

Can we stop soon?

We're only in the car two minutes, honey.

We're not even near the highway.

I know, Russell. But you don't like to stop on the highway.

Well, it's not that so much.

They don't let you stop on the highway.

Okay, so then we'll smoke in the car.

And what about my cataracts?

I'll crack the window.

Carrie, I made a vow. Remember?

Remember I made a vow, Carrie?

Yeah, now I can't smoke on...

All right, and now I can't smoke.

See where we are?

Is... Is that...

What are those odds?

What's the problem, kid?

I don't... I don't know. It sounds funny.

It stops, it starts, it loses power.

Let me see if I can give you a hand.

Let me see. Check all these plugs.

Spark plugs are okay.

The distributor cap's okay.

Good.

It's gotta be something with... with this.

Uh-oh. Timing chain.

This is what this is. There's a cap on it.

This cap is loose. It ain't supposed to be loose.

So that means they're getting worn out.

You just gotta...

Try that now. Tighten it up.

Huh?

I can drive 'em. I can't fix 'em.

You're back in business, kid.

Thanks.

- I owe you anything? - No.

No, you don't owe me anything.

Oh, thanks.

- Frank. - Hey, Frank. How ya doing?

What's your name?

Where you from?

- Philly. - Oh, you're from Philly.

- Yeah. - Ah.

Where you hang out there?

Callahan's.

Bocce Club. But it's a bar, it's not a bocce club.

Oh, yeah. You play bocce?

- Nah. - Oh.

All right, Frankie... get that fixed.

Because it'll go again on you, I'm telling you.

- Thank you. - All right.

- I will. Thanks again. - Good luck, buddy.

I mean, I thought maybe he owned the gas station.

'Cause he owned something, you could tell.

Yeah, it turns out he owned the whole road.

This one?

Salute! Drink up, fellas.

God bless.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's make some money today.

It's a bar.

Say hello to your wife, huh?

I got a way you can earn, to push those hindquarters.

There's a guy in here, he'll pay a lot of money for them.

Come on, let's shoot this first and then we'll talk business.

At the other end of the bar, at twelve o'clock...

You see him? He's got a receding hairline.

Yeah, you'll make a lot of money with him.

See him there? Skinny Razor. He owns the place.

Razor?

He shy locks and runs a little book out of the joint.

He's got a lot of good action, good connections.

- Razor's his name? - Yeah, he used to work at a butcher shop.

My friend Frank Irish is here. The one I told you about?

- Oh, the truck. - Yeah, hindquarters.

Frank Sheeran.

You like steak?

I do.

I deliver steak.

Do ya?

Good steak.

I could deliver you steak.

- Could ya? - I could.

Good price too. The best.

- We'll talk later. - Okay.

Thanks, Skinny.

Oh, it's freezing out there.

Ah, I don't mind it.

Not me. I hate it.

Hey, do me a favor. When you go outside...

put the seal on for me.

- All right. I gotta go out anyway. - I owe you one.

There you go, Frank.

- See you next time. - All right, Tony. Thanks.

Much better, Frank.

I don't go near Choice. I only do Prime. That's it.

Can I get some more for next Tuesday?

How many you want?

At least five.

Okay. Five, you got.

- Amen. - Amen.

What the fuck is this?

Tony, I don't...

- What the fuck is this, Frank? - I don't... I don't know.

I mean...

I don't load the truck.

The loaders are supposed to load the truck.

Maybe they didn't do their work. I don't know.

You didn't realize you were driving a light horse?

No. I just... Nothing. It felt fine.

Oh, come on, Frank. Come on.

I'm telling you. I...

God's truth. I just don't know what happened.

I don't know. Maybe some...

- It's empty. - I know it is.

I know it is.

What are you guys looking at? Go back to work.

All of youse!

What am I gonna tell the boss?

Well, I'm telling you that I don't know what's going on.

Just don't look at me 'cause I, you know...

Well, who else can I look at? This is not gonna be on me, Frank.

I'm telling you right now.

Me, I just drive the truck. That's all I do.

Okay, Frank Sheeran. Am I saying that right?

Yeah, you said right.

Uh, under the contract, thanks to Jimmy Hoffa...

management can only fire a driver on very specific charges.

- So, you ever show up late? - No.

- Do you have any moving violations? - No.

- Do you drink on the job? - No.

You ever hit anybody?

- On the job? - Yeah.

- No. - Okay.

What about stealing, that ain't grounds?

Well...

can they prove it?

I don't think so.

All right then, we don't have nothing to worry about.

If they can prove it,

they're just gonna want names from you. Accomplices.

That's all. You give them a couple of names, you go home.

Keep your job.

What do you think about that?

- Would you give them names? - No. No names.

You know, I don't, uh...

I don't care whether you did it or not.

That makes no difference to me.

- Yeah, I know. - I'm here to defend you. Right?

Right.

What, you want to know if I did it or not?