I Hate Luv Storys

This Love and all is not my kind of thing

Do you know, till today l have not understood..

.. how some people spend their whole lives with one girl

I had already decided that l will not waste my life by falling in love

So are you trying to say that..

.. every boy wants just one thing from every girl? - Right

Every love story, has the exact same story

The hero first runs away from love.. And then..

l love you Simran

l love you and onIy you

l love you Riya

God l hate love stories!

But I love, love stories

lnfact, l love everything

These flowers, this season, rains!

These colours, Pink

Romance, romantic films

l make sets for these films, l am an art director

l love my job,

This filmy world, dramatic stories and..

.. The thing I love the most - Iove stories

ln which the heroine Turns around in slow motion,

when the hero sings and calls out to her

Cut!

Emotions! I want emotions!

Stupid! These love stories are stupid

Even more stupid than that are those people who make these love stories

Today, l top the list of these stupid people

l am a stupid directors assistant

who is enacting something stupid so that he can..

FeeI, l want to feel.. l want to get the feel?

How do they make such stupid films

Do Iove stories really exist?

Of course, love stories exists

we have a perfect Iove story

That's Raj, My Mr. Right!

when l saw, l realized my love

Love means going crazy, Simran

Raj was just perfect

So perfect, that everyone loved him - Perfect! Perfect!

My mom was a Gujrati

And dad, Punjabi

After her experience mom had decided..

.. That her son-in-law would be a Gujrati

Enter Raj!

Perfect

Just Perfect

My mom had just one dream

That amongst these cards, One day, would be my wedding card

She was obsessed with marriage

My marriage!

Marriage - none of this crap for me!

l was just not that types of a guy

lnfact l haven't seen a happy couple till today

Umm, may be my grandparents

Actually no, l just loved one thing!

Dating! I date every kind of girl.. who loves me,

who doesn't love me

who does everything else besides loving me

Or even makes me do things!

l had just one dream

To work with a director who made the best love stories

And that day..

My life was perfect

And l was so happy

Stop yeah! Now Ieave her and listen to me

Veer was a very big filmmaker

Big hits, big stars, big budgets

whatever, whatever

But these were not my kind of films.. Not my scene

lnfact for me it was like the Taliban

l was here forjust two reasons

First, my resume and

Second, Peter's bills

There was another character in my life.. Kunal

My senior in office and My best friend

Kunal was like a villain for every girl

The perfect villain!

Phew! l hate it when girls don't listen to me

why you still sitting, you want to get me beaten up? Lets go

Oh Shit!

Speaking of villains Veer, the villain of my life

Sent me to watch this romantic film

wanted me to see some aunty's performance Casting issues

Actually, he knew how I felt about these films

Sadist!

But I did not know that my life would change that day

Just like an old film,

She turned and looked at me

And me..

Sirji, my family is a little small

You are alone, can you please Adjust on that seat there

what is happening?

Hi.. J

what's your name?

Name?

Simran

How can you be so beautiful?

Your name is Simran? Seriously?

Shut up Jay, keep quiet don't say anything, keep quiet

Quite a filmy name, don't you think?

No offence

Listen you don't have a boyfriend by the name Raj right?

No right, Thank God, If you did l would have falIen down laughing

My fiancAes name is Raj

But seriously, have you ever thought what wiIl happen to your children

In school their teachers will ask them

Child, what are your parents' names?

Raj and Simran

Child, do they also sing songs in fields?

wilI you please be quiet

Change the mood, say something sweet Jay

Come on, you can do it

l bet your those filmy types

You love these love stories right

Look, your spoiling my film

If you are not interested in this film

Then just leave

l cannot go

Have you hear of Veer Kapoor?

Of course, he is my favorite director

Of course, he is your Favorite director!

l work for him

He has sent me here

He is mad

He had falIen down somewhere in his chiIdhood..

.. and hurt his head and since then he has been making love stories

which people love

People are mad

God!

This! Childhood romance, childhood Sweethearts, does this even happen?

lt happened with us

Us? - Raj and l

Oh God, I thought she was reaIly making fun of me

That is why l decided that l will keep quiet

Seriously you need help

You are really really ill

You beIieve in such love stories? - Just shut up

Oh, so you must be believing in ghosts too right?

A lot of films are made on ghosts

Simran, come on ya, don't go like that

Look, why you getting so angry

l was just doing time pass

Come on, Listen Simran please seriously..

.. I cannot watch such a boring fiIm alone

l need your company

Best of luck!

Ya right, I won't watch a film without you

Anyways this was the world's smalIest love story

This time veer was making a very different film

Sanjana was leaving forever

She was walking towards the aircraft

Cut to, ln the frame we see Rahul's feet

Rahul does not want Sanjana to leave

Rahul runs behind Sanjana

He fights with the security guard and screams "Sanjana"

But Sanjana's father does not leave her hand

And then, then, Rahul sings a song

Hearing the song, Sanjana's fathers heart melts

Sanjana leaves her fathers hand and runs and hugs RahuI

Every love story has the same costumes, same sets, same dialogues

Everything is the same..

.. just the themes have been changed a little and they say

Our film is different!

It wilI not be shot in New York or London,

But will be shot in New ZeaIand

Bollywood's king will shoot in Queenstown

wow! - This is not just a Iove story

lt's a saga!

wow!

Veer

Sir. - Jay, I'm sorry your name is J right, not Jay

Ya - why? It's cool?

So telI me J, you did not like my film right?

No Veer, I thought it was.. - Shut up

l'm sure you think l am dumb, mad

And make the same old fiIms over and over again

But you know what? l know that

Just one thing, there's one thing that you don't know

That my films have magic..

.. that magic which the audience connects..

.. with which you will understand one day

Understand? - lt's really

Shut up!

Veer, Nidhi is incharge of costumes..

.. and we need another girl for properties, can I ask..

Jay, from today jay will be in charge of properties

Veer.. l - You don't understand my world right Jay?

That is why from today, you will work with my art director

Understand?

So remember l had told you not to listen to Simran

You will have to listen to her now

Because in front of me was fate again!

what the F?

Ah Simran!

Hi Veer

Simran meet.. This is - J!

He was watching a film yesterday

Oh that reminds me, did you actualIy watch that film?

Yes. - And he praised it a lot too