What if Gargiulo Finds Out? (Se lo scopre Gargiulo)

- You went through the wall? - I can't see anything.

- There's nothing to see. - Is someone there? Let me see.

It must be the maid of the apartment next door.

The red-haired one? That hotsie!

If nobody is there, let's close it with plaster.

- Hurry. We have things to do. - Right away.

Stop! Peppino! Where did he go?

Wake up.

The workers in the apartment across the hall made a hole in the wall.

In my room.

Did you understand?

Hey! What are you doing?

- Now? Here? - Yes.

What is it this morning?

You've never been like this.

Wait.

Wait. It will rip.

Rip it all up.

- Who is it? - What? I'm Teresa, your wife.

- What time is it? - I don't know.

It's 7:30.

I fell asleep at six.

You wake me up at 7:30?

I was dreaming.

Move.

I knew it.

Maybe it's that beautiful Madonna of Carmine.

Mom!

- Mom! - Who is it?

It's Teresa. I was here. I was brushing my teeth.

- What is this noise? - Your mother.

It's 7.30. I must go to the hospital.

She went into the bathroom.

I guess she didn't see you.

I'm transparent this morning.

It's not her fault. Mom is used to her comforts.

She goes to the bathroom before me, she sleeps with my husband.

Should I have let Mom sleep in the maid's room?

She's Professor Gargiulo's wife.

Of course. It's better if your wife sleeps in it!

I'm not a maid. I'm a certified nurse.

That is how I came to this house.

Now you are Mrs. Gargiulo.

And I sleep in the maid's bed by myself.

Mom is old and at night she needs me close to her.

And I don't?

You're always sleepy at night.

You wake up early in the morning.

I have to. I work.

Like you're the only one working.

That's how it is. I'm the only one who works here.

You sleep and at night you lose at poker.

Be quiet.

Good morning, Mom.

- There you go. Good night. - Good night.

- Did you tell her? - No, Mom. It's not the right moment.

- She's going out now. - I'll tell her before she leaves.

- She's nervous. - As usual!

Maybe you didn't see me. I'm here.

Darn it!

I have to get dressed in the dark!

What did I say?

You can't make such a bad impression.

You are professor Gargiulo's son. Understand, Roberto?

- Yes. - We need 700,000 liras.

- 700,000 liras? - Nothing.

My sister Ernestina is holding a conference at the Press Club.

- She wants 700,000 liras? - No.

If I am to go, I must wear a blazer.

Where is she going? Teresa.

Do you want coffee or not?

What is a blazer?

It's a blue, double-breasted jacket.

It costs 700,000 liras?

Wait, Mom. It's not that Teresa doesn't want to buy it.

She's a nurse and doesn't know how much a blazer costs.

- Teresa only knows one thing. - What a bore!

I have a debt with the bank for 287,000 liras.

I don't know who can lend me the money.

- You can get a loan on your salary. - Again?

- How many salaries do I have? - I don't know.

Remember you were dying of pain and had to go to the dentist?

- The pain went away. - But I never saw the money again.

I tried to pay you back by giving you all my love.

- A platonic love. - Again.

See? I went against my family because of my love for you.

Your mother came to convince me!

Yeah, yeah.

"You're just a nurse."

"My son is not that much, but you'll become Mrs. Gargiulo."

She said these things to convince me. I should have run away!

See? Now you throw a card game in my face to keep Mom company.

All this for a jacket.

Alright.

Ok. Let's see how this appointment at the hospital goes today.

My future depends on it... Our future.

The health inspector is coming to see me.

You know why?

- Because... - Roberto!

Yes, Mom.

- Who is it? - Well?

- You turn off the light? - I didn't know you were still here.

Am I invisible?

- Excuse me. - I'm sorry. I didn't see you.

Teresa, where are you going?

- Dr. De Crescenzo is waiting for me. - You?

I have an appointment at 8:30.

The appointments start at 8:30.

- How long do they last? - I don't know. Your last name?

- Scapece. - Like him.

- Him, who? - His name is Scapece too.

- Dad. - Teresa.

- Weren't you off today? - Yes, but I have a work appointment.

- Are you here for me? - For the tests. Shall we go?

- I'm seeing De Crescenzo. - Who?

- The health inspector. - Where?

In that office over there. Are you going there too?

Is that an office?

I saw people waiting outside,

so I thought it was the bathroom. My head!

Bye. Take care.

If it's not the patient who is convinced that he has recovered,

medicine is helpless. Why is your hair down?

Nurses here wear their hair pulled back.

If one day you become head physician like me... Look at her.

What are you doing without a uniform?

- Good morning, Ernestina. - Professor Gargiulo while we work.

I'm not working today.

That's no big news!

- Come with me. - No. I have an appointment.

Come. I must talk to you.

Good morning, Professor. The professor is here.

Good morning.

- What did you have this morning? - Coffee.

- 42. - It didn't come out.

Not in Naples, but in Bari. You owe me 200,000 liras.

- Wait. - Did 42 come out?

- I even have 23 in Turin. - One moment. Let's see.

Give me 200,000 liras.

The money is for next week.

- Why? - 38 was late.

What do I care? I bet all my pension money on 42.

It came out and you don't want to pay?

Don't worry. Get 38.

42 came out on Bari!

Wait a moment. Calm down! Let's check.

Great! 49 came out.

Where are you going?

Holy Mary!

I was against your marriage with my brother.

What's that got to do with it?

If you don't adapt to the efficiency here, you're in the wrong ward.

I serve patients like priests at the altar.

- Did they complain? - No!

That is why they don't leave.

Patients must be helped so they will recover.

What do you know about medicine? Today I need 12 beds.

- He who suffers can't wait. - What should I do?

What is this? Oh, no!

What's happening in here?

The Gargiulo ward has come to this.

How shameful! How pitiful!

How many empty beds! You don't need them. Nurse.

The ones out of their beds can go.

- This is your ward. - No, I'm on the other side.

Don't contradict me.

With your sense of pity you'd make this place a rest home.

This is yesterday's and nobody took it.

The next one who protests I'll throw in the street.

- I'll dismiss him immediately. - How should I walk?

The doctors don't come to cure us, but they come to bet!

What bets?

- Clandestine ones. - A doctor? What?

It's not true. What are you saying?

I swear. You must believe me.

On games, on horses. They all bet here. Liars.

Which doctor?

The professor has a white coat, He comes by here.

Where is this ghost doctor? Did he hide under the bed?

Under this one?

Let's look. While I'm here I'll do an inspection.

- You'll find cockroaches. - Where is he?

Why are you standing here? You look too.

Let's see. Where is he? It's crazy!

Check the room, bed by bed

and if you don't find him, you'll be reported for slander.

I'll report you to the police. If you don't find him,

it means you don't want to find him. You are a bunch of idiots. All of you.

Don't you dare! You don't know who I am.

I'm the daughter of Professor Gargiulo.

Who is Professor Gargiulo?

Tell us.

Professor Gargiulo.

I'm Mrs. Gargiulo and I never saw him. Not even on the day of my wedding.

You are a disgrace for my ward.

Yes. I know you can't stand me, but this disgrace won't last long.

De Crescenzo will assign me as head of the health department.

I'm leaving. And I still haven't finish!

Or better yet, I have.

Come in.