Marvel's Avengers Assemble

What kind of morons try to hide

a secret base underneath Manhattan?

Hydra really needs to get a new playbook.

Seriously.

Aah!

You're slipping, Avenger! Hail Hydra! Hail...

- Man, they love to talk. - Stay focused, Hawkeye.

Overconfidence loses battles.

If this lousy base makes me miss Halloween tonight,

I'm gonna take it out on every Hydra goon here.

The base isn't the mission, Hulk.

We're here for the scientist. Fan out and find her.

Well, well, well. One evil Hydra scientist,

one awesome superhero and... oh, look... a bunch of arrows.

Looks like I got you outnumbered.

Count again.

I never was that good at math.

Okay, that is not good.

On the contrary. These are the Mark II prototypes,

designed with the Avengers in mind.

You and your little bow are outmatched.

Prototypes, huh? As in, not quite ready for prime time?

I can work with that.

And it's not about the bow, lady.

The name's not Hawk-bow, it's Hawk-eye!

As in, eyes always on the prize.

You are caught, evil genius lady.

Okay, team. Our Hydra scientist's name is Whitney Frost.

Dr. Frost, why don't you tell us what you've been doing here?

I do many things, Captain America.

You have to be more specific.

Your experiments with vampires... specifically.

Vampires?

As if I didn't already hate Halloween.

Hydra soldiers aren't able to do what we need them to.

But with vampire powers... strength, vision, speed...

Once I stabilize the serum, we will have an army of super-soldiers.

That's not going to happen.

Iron Man, wipe Hydra's computers. Delete everything they know.

Consider it done.

The formula's not in the computers,

it's in my head.

If you were all that smart, Frost,

then you'd know vampires really don't like humans messing with their stuff.

The vampires are after me?

Hey, ya think?

The team and I will hold them off.

Hawkeye, get her out of here and take her to the Beach House.

What? No. I hate the Beach House.

It's the safest place. The Beach House, Hawkeye.

Go! Now!

Let's go.

This is your idea of keeping me safe?

Oh, no. None of this was my idea.

And I'll keep you safe, but I ain't promising comfortable.

Hey, guess who I stole the web arrow idea from.

Come on. Guess.

That's not gonna stop them.

Doesn't need to stop 'em. Just needs to slow 'em down.

Ha-ha! Hydra cycles.

I am great at Hydra cycles.

Of all the Avengers to get stuck with, I get you.

- Not Iron Man, not Hulk... - Whoa. The Hulk? Really?

You'd choose him over me? Wow. That is...

That is just harsh.

Frost, think fast.

Listen up, one: the other Avengers are busy

holding off the vampires for you.

Two: you don't get a vote because...

wait for it... you're evil.

And three: there's a good reason Cap picked me.

- And that is? - I know where the Beach House is.

This is the Beach House?

Um, hi. It's a code name. All our safe houses have code names,

because no one would think to look for a beach house here in Rutland, Vermont.

Don't worry. This place has everything.

Perimeter defense array, canons, cameras, shielding.

Even one of those fancy single-serving coffee machines.

Yeah. Keeps trick-or-treaters out.

Keeps wacky evil geniuses in.

Enough security to hold off the Hulk.

It's not the Hulk who worries me.

It's what comes after dark.

House, get me a location on Captain America.

And give me my backup quiver.

This is so unfair.

The Avengers have all this but don't do anything with it.

At least Hydra tries to change the world.

No. Hydra wants to own the world.

The Avengers save the world. You're a genius, Frost. You know I'm right.

No response from Cap? House, try him again.

The vampires got him. It's the only answer.

The vampires didn't get him.

House, give me a location on Black Widow.

That's impossible.

According to this, Black Widow's here.

Hey, Hawkeye, wanna come out and play?

Crossbones and the Crimson Widow.

Look at this. They sent us to fetch Frost,

but looks like we get to hurt Hawkeye.

- Bonus. - Barely half an Avenger.

So dull. I wanted Romanov.

Aw, you're not getting what you want.

But you'll get the butt-kicking you deserve.

House, emergency lockdown!

So careless, Hawkeye, forgetting to disable to bike's tracker.

Frost, make yourself useful and open the doors.

What, leaving so soon?

Uh-oh.

You waste your time, Hawkeye.

I disabled your defensive weapons systems.

Yeah. And I just reset 'em.

House, target hostiles.

You expecting somebody?

Frost, open the shields.

Nobody's there.

Dracula.

Good evening. What is that quaint Western expression?

Oh, yes.

Trick or treat.

Dracula is not here for you, Avenger,

and not for these Hydra fools, either.

I have come for her.

She has meddled in the affairs of the vampires.

She must be chastised.

Hand her over to me now, and perhaps I will allow you to live.

Yeah, that's not happening.

No chastising tonight, tooth boy.

"Tooth boy"?

Have you just called the immortal Dracula,

lord of all vampires, "tooth boy"?

I know the rules, Drac. This is my house.

You and the bite brigade can't set one toe in here unless I invite you.

And guess what. You are so not invited.

And what will you say when there is no house in which to invite me?

What Dracula desires, Dracula will have.

Tear the house down!

The woman will suffer our wrath!

The others will suffer death!

I thought you said this place could hold off the Hulk.

Well, yeah. It can see the Hulk.

But vampires are invisible to tech.

House can't fight what it can't see.

We're stuck in here. What are we supposed to do?

Get to the middle of the cabin. It's our best bet.

We have to hold them off as long as we can.

"We"? What makes you think we'd work with the likes of you?

Because your lives are on the line here too.

We team up and eventually walk out of here alive.

Or do you wanna do your own thing, and we all get wiped out?

Ugh! Fine.

We team up.

Then let's do this.

It's like whack-a-mole with vampires.

Still fighting?

It will only make our victory sweeter when I hold your lifeless...

Huh?

I thought you knew the rules, bowman.

Your metal arrows can do nothing to...

So be it, bowman.

Hulk, watch your six!

I'm gonna miss trick or treat because of vampires wrecking my Halloween!

Well, maybe we can start a new tradition.

Smashoween. What do you think, big guy?

"Smashoween"? I like it.