The Original Kings of Comedy

Power 98 WPEG with blazing hot jams.

Fat and flamin'for the new millennium.

Also getting readyfor the 5:00 traffic jam.

What, what.

Man, I'm living here along with the Kings of Comedy.

How are you doing?

Hey, yo. Hey, baby.

I just wanted to call to welcome y'all to Charlotte.

Well, I'm gonna tell you, I had some tickets for you,

but unfortunately you gottacome up here to get them.

Well, I can... I can do that.

I got tickets.

You must not know where this station is.

If you leave now,

you'll make the Sunday show.

Everybody wanna know if we sittin' up here bein' sincere.

Do we get along?HUGHLEY: Yeah.

Do we like each other?HUGHLEY: Yeah.

We glad we finally made it out to this mo.

We had to fill up twice.

Yo, hold on...

You talk about me? You talk about me behind my back?

Huh? Hell, no. Hell, no, man.

You know, today isthe last day you canpurchase tickets

for only $9.99,baby. Right?

Nine... $9.99?

What the hell is we, a chicken dinner or something?

You can't see us for no $9.99.Actually, it's $9.98.

Yeah, them pennies is killingthem at the ticket office.

We ain't got no more pennies!

'Cause you know us, we really coming up there

with Crown Royal bags full of change.

Hold on. I got a nickel. Run to the car.

Nathaniel! Nathaniel!

Open the ashtray and bring them two dimes.

You know whatI wanna know about?

While you guys on tour,

I know a lot of ladiescome to the comedy show.

What you doing? What you doing? Get up out of here.

We got wives.All y'all married?

So, you wanna know, out of all the married men,

the four married men on this tour, who get the most juice?

Is that what you want to know?Yeah, yeah.

I ain't gonna lie to you.

Uh-oh.You know, I'm juicy fruit, you know what I mean?

There it is, baby.

Your host, it's the one and only

Steve Harvey!

Charlotte, North Carolina,show your love.

Before I get started,

as always, I'd like to saythat God is everything.

Without God,I wouldn't be nothin'.

Well, now that we donegot that out the way,

how y'all doin' with y'all country ass?

Yeah!

You know your ass is country.

Don't be looking around.

I'm country my damn self.

That's how I know country-ass people when I see you.

In the house.

Country-ass people 'preciate shit.

That's why I know. I'm country, I know.

'Cause I know, I know, oh, I know y'all been talkin' about it.

Hey, now, mister,we gonna be on TV?

Boy, y'all been at the barber shops and beauty salons.

Girl, I'm going to see the "Kangs."

Get all my shit done.

I'm going to see the "Kangs."

Not the kings. The "Kangs."

Well, goddamn it, Charlotte, I got news for you.

The "Kangs" is here.

Y'all had a lot of good stuff happening in Charlotte.

Your football team had a pretty decent season.

That's, that's all right. Give, give 'em a hand.

You know, you know, you know,

y'all just got the football team a few years ago.

Now, you sitting there like it's been a part of the city for 30 damn years.

I say, "football team," y'all...

Your country-ass ought to be glad you got a football team.

Ain't no need to boo at me, y'all need some laughs

'cause I'll tell you right now,

all the news 'bout your football team ain't been good news.

Rae Carruth!

What the hell was on Ray-Ray mind?

And little... First of all, just let me just say this,

I ain't here to talk about guilt or innocence

'cause that ain't my job.

I don't know what he did or whether he did or whatever.

All I wanna know is

who helped plan the goddamn escape?

Was this not the ignorant-est shit you ever seen?

What was his little punk ass thinking?

Goddamn it, normally,

when you running from the law,

you wanna get a passport.

Go to Canada, Brazil, Mexico.

No, no. Not Ray-Ray.

Ray-Ray took his ass to Nashville.

What Nashville, about 200 miles?

In a damn car.

What is your ignorant ass thinking 'bout?

Do you know who lookin' for you, Ray-Ray?

The FBI!

Go to no goddamn Nashville.

Like they ain't gonna spot your black ass in Nashville.

And where did this little retarded son of a bitch try to hide?

In the goddamn trunk.

But I know y'all couldn't even believe that shit.

Y'all had to be back in Charlotte going,

"I know good and well this motherfucker ain't in this trunk.

"I bet when they open it,

"I bet the son of a bitch better not be in that trunk.

"That little motherfucker is in the goddamn trunk.

"Get your black ass out that trunk!"

I see some of y'all ain't laughing.

You kiss my ass, that's funny.

Ain't no need to get mad at me, goddamn it.

I ain't shot nobody.

You know, I'm all for upliftin' black people,

but, goddamn it, there's some shit

you ain't got no business doing.

Now somebody gone 'cause your ass done trip.

Ray-Ray little retarded ass.

As a little boy,he had to be thestupidest son of a bitch

to ever playhide-and-go-seek.

This motherfucker just gonna stand on the other side of the tree.

"Ray-Ray, ain't you gonna hide?"

"I'm already hidin'."

But I ain't mad at y'all, though,

'cause y'all ain't the only ones goin' through somethin'.

It's like that big movie that came out, the Titanic.

White people always runnin' to jump on some bullshit.

Did you go see that long-ass dry movie?

I did.STEVE: I kept saying,

"Everybody know what's gonna happen,

"goddamn it, bring on the water.

"Let's drown these motherfuckers.

"You know what it's about.

"What are we sittin' in here three hours for,

"worrying about this little punk-ass boy in jail?

"Drown his punk ass!"

It's a damn shame the whole movie was the Titanicall that long.

That movie had have been about black people,

wouldn't even been no movie.

You ain't never in your life

heard of 3,000 black people

dyin' at the same damn time.

I don't give a damn if it was on a ship.

And I know half of us can't swim.

But black people would have came up with some shit.

Ain't no way in the world you would've drowned black people.

And you saw the movie,

the band was playin' as the ship went down.

What black band you know

gonna keep playing with the damn ship goin' down?

Kool & The Gang would have been unpluggin' shit.

"Man, let's get the fuck out of here.

"Wrap that shit up. Goddamn it, come on!

"Wrap this shit up. Let's go!

"Goddamn it, let's go!

"Get that amplifier off'fore somebody fuck aroundand get shocked!"

You can't drown 'em. You know how creative black people...

All them black people on that boat,

they'd have been turning over them goddamn dining room tables.

They'd have been out there in the water.