Tapawingo

What else you got?

Parachutes, Bottle Rockets Bees, Champagne Poppers,

Morning Glories, M-80's, Super Snaps, Sparklers...

Let me see that last M-80.

Are your ears ringing? Mine are ringing.

Woah...

Hey druggies! Hey!

Cut that crap out, or I'll come over there and stomp your asses!

God...

They're so drugged out they don't realize the Fourth of July

was like two months ago.

Oh, hey! Hey, Phelps,

when are you going to take us down to your dad's lake house?

As soon as you invite your cousin, Katie-

Hit the deck!

You burnouts got shit in your ears, or what? I said beat it!

Scatter!

Dude's a maniac.

Nate! I'm out of the shower!

Tom Roan will be here for dinner tonight...

It would be super for you to be here.

Y'know, I've noticed he's been making himself at home lately.

It's nice, isn't it?

You gonna charge him for rent, too?

Why are you always bringin' me so much work?

Uh... I really don't know what's all in there.

What'd you do all weekend?

I mostly laid low. Set off some leftover fireworks

with my friend, Will.

Huh...

Um. What did you do?

Saturday night, I...

had some of my girlfriends over and...

we had our fair share of Tall Boys, and around eleven...

we went out looking for some Shaft.

This music's in the turd zone.

I don't know why Darold Walton won't let us play The Fever.

103.5! They pump out killer jams.

These aren't Ding Dongs. Where are my Ding Dongs?

Finish up those Vienna Fingers, Palmer.

I need you on the sorter, pronto.

Skoog, Mr. Eubank wants to see you in his office.

How's your mom, Nate?

Pretty ok.

Good. Good. What's new with her? Anything?

She's kind of going with Tom Roan right now.

That right? Old Tom Roan?

He swings a mean bat.

What days you work, again?

Um... Mondays, Wednesdays... Fridays.

Well I can tell you...

that if the insurance business continues to be this robust,

and you show a little initiative down in the mail room,

we may be able to bring you on full-time.

How would that be?

You got a car, Nate?

Yeah.

I need you to pick up my son Oswalt after school and drive

him out to his orthodontist, out by the highway.

Ok, sure.

Except... I don't know what he looks like.

Oh, uh...

That's him.

- He goes to Nickerson High School. -35.

Just drop him off at home whenever you're done and then

come back here and finish out the rest of your day. Alrighty?

Alrighty.

So, what else is going on?

Oh, uh. We're all done here, son.

I'm gonna have to ask you to take off your glasses.

The way the wind cuts through this cab,

they'll shoot right off your face.

Pft! This thing can't go fast. Drive on, driver.

Hey, Gretchen!

I tutor Gretchen in Geometry. She's trying to earn her GED.

Can't blame her for that.

Hey, I brought us some snacks...

Oh, Gretchen!

This is Nate Skoog.

Grab my bag.

Thanks for the ride.

Oh boy, is this great taco salad or what? Huh?

Thank you, Tom Roan.

Anything happen at work today, Nate?

Well, my lunch didn't have any Ding Dongs in it.

Stop showing off for Tom.

I'm not showing off.

So Nate, you uh... you like softball?

No.

No?

What kind of an answer is that?

It's just baseball for fat people.

Oh, you think so, huh? Well, I'll tell you young man,

you've gotta be in tip top physical condition. Tip top.

Yeah, Skoog residence... Tom Roan speaking.

Uh, well look we're right in the middle of a meal... hmm?

Yeah, well, ho- hold on hold on hold on... "Balloona"?

Will Luna.

Hello? - Who's that buttwipe?

That's my mom's boyfriend.

Oh, did you hear that Ramona?

Looks like we're serious. He- he just called me your boyfriend.

Flippin' A Tom, this is private!

- Nate! - That's--

Sorry!

Yeah?

I don't think I'm gonna go to class tonight.

What?

Yeah I've already had my bath, I think I'm just gonna settle in.

Are you sure?

I think so. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?

Yeah, ok.

See ya.

See ya.

Let's make sure the blocking is even this time.

When we talk about the vorticity

of a low precipitation super cell

complete with gust front, inflow jets and feeder bands,

we're definitely gonna be running in a red watch.

Uh, so, who all here has seen a tornado?

Uh... What about you?

Hi Tornado Ted. I'm Glenn Gratton,

this is my brother, Ben Gratton.

Last May we were down around Chanute, gettin' firewood when

we saw a low-hanging wall cloud that funneled down.

At first I didn't think it had touched down,

because it wasn't filled out.

Yeah, but then I said, "no, look at the tail,

you see that bleepin' debris?" But you gotta look close.

It was so dark we all thought we were gonna die, man.

Right there... bleepin' Chanute.

But you made it to safer ground?

Oh, shoot yeah. - I floored it.

He floored it big time. - Yup.

You didn't attempt a, uh... core punch?

No way, dude.

Exactly. You did the right thing.

Uh, does everybody here know what a core punch is?

Oh boy, oh boy.

A core punch is when you head directly into the

eye of the storm.

Every year in the newspaper, you read about one or two fools

that tried it. If you remember one thing from tonight,

remember this: never attempt a core punch.

It's...

Suicide!

The shower's open!

Uh, Nate... How did you sleep last night?

Fine. Why?

Nothing, I just...

Oh, yeah.

So, Nate... How'd you sleep?

Fine.

Good.

Killer! The new Mercenary International Quarterly!

Just came out this morning. There's a stellar piece

depicting the calisthenics of the Machala rebels.

Miss anything last night?

It was pretty much the same as the class last Spring.

Tornado Ted needs to mix things up a bit.

What are you working on?

Right now, if you want to wear cammos, you have to choose

between jungle, desert or snow.

I'm developing a new pattern of camouflage that is all purpose.

So not only could you wear it in the jungle, desert and snow...

you could also wear it in an urban setting,

out along the highway by the Dress Barn,

and maybe even... the ocean.

You want to rock on over to the rec center?

Oh, Thursday night is wrestling at the Buckeye Nazarene Annex.

Ina Jean Groff versus June Beach I'll score us two tickets.

Righteous.

How's that job your mom got you?

It's all so whatever.

I can't be locked into a 9 to 5.

Tell me about it. I'm pulling a couple half-days a week

at Nickerson and believe me, that is plenty, Broseff.

Plus, whatever I make I have to pay my mom for lodging.

Maybe we should look into some Mercenary work.

You know, protecting the weak and stupid. Storming haciendas.

High powered explosives. That sort of thing.

I hear that pays serious coin.

High risk. High reward.

If someone asked me to kill an ambassador or something?

I'd have to charge a butt-ton of cabbage.

That would be boss...

What are you two doin?

Guerrilla workouts of the Machala rebels.

What about you?

Angolan N'singa technique of combat and warfare.

Gnarly.

It's devastating.

Mercenaries needed for special ops.

Forty kilometers east of Quevedo.

What?

Hello, I'm calling in reference to an ad

you placed in Mercenary International Quarterly.

Hi, I'm calling in reference to an important ad you placed.

More money...

I'm calling in reference to an ad you placed in a magazine.