The Twins Effect II (千機變II花都大戰)

I sell off all these Dumbbells and I'm done with my debts.

Really, men are quite useful.

They can carry heavy loads, raise children, cook dinner.

They can take care of everything.

And should you want a child, pick yourself a handsome stud.

Just don't fall in love with him...

because here, in the land of the Amazons,

all men are slaves.

There's not one single man in the palace.

The queen just hates them.

Hello, everyone!

The Thirteenth Master is here today doing her first solo.

Pay attention!

And see what I got for you.

Voila , the crown jewel of my shop,

a product that I've taken much care and attention.

Here we are, 18-year-old Hardy Hard.

C'mon over and see for yourself.

Look at his skin. See how smooth it is. Feel it. See how supple.

Hardy Hard, turn around and show the ladies.

He cooks, washes, picks up after you and never complains.

You will not be disappointed.

We're having our summer sales.

I'll let you steal him for just two gold coins.

I give you three!

The merchandise goes to the highest bidder, naturally.

Thank you, ma'am!

What are you doing?

No, please.

What do you mean? Is my money no good?

Don't worry, ma'am. I'll take care of it.

Are you messing with me?

No. Look at her face, and that mole. And that hair growing on it.

-I just can't. -Picky, aren't you?

Perhaps you'd prefer a queen?

-Oh just let me die! -Wait a second.

You silly boy!

Look at me.

Am I pretty?

Is she pretty?

Yes.

It's a shame he got sold.

But that’s fine since I have more to sell.

It's easily done for you. Just pick any Dumbbell.

I give you a thousand gold coins.

Stop! Hold it right there!

Whoa! Amazing!

-Where's the stone plaque? -Crouching Tiger,

the plaque you asked me to steal from the palace

-is right here. -We'll meet in three days as planned.

When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears,

Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns.

"When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears.

Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns."

Cordon off the area, don't let them get away!

All my Dumbbells ran away! Get them now!

Did you see my Dumbbells?

Yes, I just got a couple.

Give them back!

Stop!

What's wrong with you? You're such a scumbag.

You took my Dumbbells and yet you hit me!

You're a pain, you know that?

Give me back my Dumbbells, and I'll leave you alone.

I told you I never saw them. Stop or I'll kick your ass!

Picking a fight, aren't you? I'm not afraid of you!

Who is she?

That's none of your business.

Did you do that?

The wound doesn't look like your work.

What's your problem? Mission accomplished.

-What is it? -We got two back. The others got away.

These two? They're just skin and bones.

Beats not getting any.

You can't even make soup with them!

So you're the Thirteenth Master?

What? Have you come to apologize?

You've ruined my business. Give me back my Dumbbells!

Oh, Marshal Edo Bowman. Nice seeing you here.

So you still remember me.

Of course I remember you, it's just I'm a little short on cash these days.

That's okay. I want you to find someone for me.

If you succeed, we'll forget about your debts.

Really?

Who are you looking for?

Here, look!

It's a man.

An exceptionally important man.

-Wow! -I suppose he's handsome?

He's really very special, absolutely extraordinary.

A perfect match for the Marshal.

What's his name?

He's an actor, and he performs on the outskirts of town.

Underground performances, illegal stuff.

-How do I find him? -He's very special.

He has a particular scent of a man.

What scent of a man?

Well, it's...

different from all the other men these days.

He is just different.

Any discernible marks or characteristics?

Yes!

When he sees a pretty girl,

his ears will go "pop" and turn red.

Marshal, you look so much in love.

That's it.

Find him and bring him back to me, you understand?

What about my Dumbbells?

Temporarily confiscated.

Find me that man,

and I return every one of them to you.

Thirteenth Master, help! Save me!

Move!

What I lose today...

I shall win back tomorrow.

Red Vulture, did you ask help from the Wild Wolves tribe?

Yes, I did.

As the court's imperial enforcer,

you must not collaborate with such barbarians.

But what does it matter, High Priest?

I've accomplished all your missions.

But not by any unjust means.

How dare you lecture me? Show some respect!

You show some respect!

You're just an enforcer, you obey my orders!

I only listen to a woman's orders, never a man's.

Besides,

you're not even a real man.

Blue Bird, move aside!

High Priest, please spare her life.

From now on, you're no more an imperial enforcer.

Your Majesty.

As Commander of the Palace Guards,

where were you

when burglars broke into the Palace's secret chambers?

Your Majesty, I was at the city gate supervising work on the city walls.

Besides, Your Majesty's said the secret chambers are off limits.

After all, it's just a piece of stone.

Shut up!

I know where you were. You were at the whorehouse.

-I now sentence you to death! -Your Majesty!

Take her away and kill her!

Yes, your Majesty!

Couples, how disgusting.

Her Majesty is getting more perverse every day.

When the twice-blooming flower blossoms, Star of Rex appears,

Yin and Yang turn upside down, and chaos reigns.

So? Is anyone of them Star of Rex?

No, neither.

Kill them!

He's the only one left on the family tree of the previous dynasty.

So he must be our Star of Rex.

I'm just worried that the plaque will fall into the hands of Star of Rex.

And if he solves the riddle and finds the Excalibur,

that'll be real trouble.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon's rebels may have stolen the stone plaque,

but they might not know the identity of Star of Rex.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon might not know, but the plaque does.

That thing is spiritual, it'll find Star of Rex.

We follow the plaque and we'll find Star of Rex.

Say we find him, then what?

It's his destiny to take your throne.

Do you want to die?

Why don't you just kill me?

How can I? I haven't hated you enough.

She's your sister.

Are you feeling pain?

I...

Oh, no.

-Your wound-- -Don't touch me!

Don't ever touch me.

I don't want anything that you've laid your hands on.

Sis, the prophecy says we can win the world if we marry the emperor.

You can't possibly give up the world for love.

No, I can.

Wei Liao is my world.

Wei Liao!

Ya Ge?

Then you are...

You're Ya Ting?

Ya Ting, you'll suffer for the rest of your life!

From now on,

I want all men to live their lives in shame and misery

under my rule of fear!

Trace the stone plaque.

The eagle will lead you to the thief.

The Amazons injured his left arm

when they tried to arrest him.

When you find it, inform me immediately.

Yes, Your Highness.

Ready!

One, two, three, go!

I'm sorry. One more time.

-What's the matter with you? -I'm sorry. I miscalculated.

-Are you all right? -Punks!

You're not getting any dinner tonight.

-Where's Peachy? -I don't know.

The show's starting, where the hell is the leading lady?

Melon Seed, go put on Peachy's costume.

Master Blackwood, I promise I'll deliver this time.