Kathy O'

Hi, Ben, what's up?

My sister-in-law bought a new girdle, the Rams won the night game and

George Washington crossed the Delaware. Now where have you been?

- Playin' Polo, what else is new? - Ya hear about the layoffs?

Are you starting at Christmas rumors again?

Harry Johnson. Oh, yeah, hello, Jeff.

You got that layout, huh?

Sure those are her measurements.

44-22-36.

Sure she's intelligent... the 44 is her head.

Okay, thanks.

- The garbage that man prints. - I hear they might lay off 12 in production.

They can't fire me... my creditors won't permit it.

No kidding... 12?

Ben, I got scared just then...

in 10 seconds I lost the house,

Helen is tellin' the kids I can't afford what they need,

and I'm on Nowhere Street without a shave.

Oh, c'mon, that won't happen.

Yeah, I know, but isn't it funny how fast pictures go through your mind?

What's the trouble?

No trouble, O'Rourke just ordered me off the set.

Get the shot yourself.

But Billy, that picture's scheduled for the Sunday Times.

You never saw such a tantrum.

When I showed her that thing she threatened me with a pair of scissors.

But we still need the picture.

- Where are my cigarettes? - You quit smokin' yesterday.

- Oh, yeah. - I'm not goin' up against again her alone.

- Ben'll go with you, he has no family. - Me? I'm a well known coward.

All right... c'mon.

Boy, I'd like to belt her one.

Hey, there's a law against hitting actresses, legally they're considered woman.

- I'm ready for O'Rourke. - A little to the left, now hit number 3.

- Hey Mike! - All right, now flood it out.

- Be nice, take that away. - How's your golf game, Mike?

Don't smooze me, she's murder today, besides, we're ready for her on the set.

We like scenery, we'll wait.

I love you, Harry... go away.

Miss O'Rourke. Ready for Miss O'Rourke.

She'll be right out, Mike.

All right, close the doors, light 'em, fellas!

Now, Kathy, when you come out of the closet,

look off camera right, right at your Aunt Harriet.

- Would you like a rehearsal? - No.

- I'd like to run it again, Sir, for lines. - I know my lines.

Well, if you don't mind, Kathy, I'd like another go at it.

We rehearsed it twice, do we have to do it again?

Now, Kathy, Darling, don't get upset.

I'm not getting upset, I just don't want to do it again.

But Darling...

C'mon, let's try it without another rehearsal.

You'll be all right, Collingwood.

Thanks.

All right, all are quiet now, this is picture.

Who do you have to know to get out of this business?

All right, let's have it quiet, we're rolling, settle down.

Speed! Action!

All right, I know you're in there.

Come on out.

How many times have I told you to stay out of this room?

Please don't get angry, I just come up here to be alone.

- For Heaven's sake, why? - It makes me feel better.

Her dresses are still there, sometimes I brush up against them.

They make sounds, like the sound of her.

Well, let's not talk about that now, why don't you go outside and play.

I don't want to, I've gotta grow up.

I have to take her place. You said so yourself.

That's why I sit with the dresses, I've got to love them as much as she did.

More than anything, they're all I have left.

Cut! That was fine! Print it!

I told you we didn't need another rehearsal.

- Okay! New deal! Oh, Miss Harriet? - Yes?

I want to give you Kathy's changes on the next scene.

Fine, you go rest now, Darling.

Strike the lights! Clear the set! Let's move the camera over here.

- Who are you? - Harry Johnson, from publicity.

- We've met. - I hate publicity.

So do I, but keep it a secret, will ya?

- What are you doing here? - Can't you see I'm makin' somethin'.

I think it's gonna be a dragon.

Ah! I goofed. It looks like a kangaroo.

Why do I always get a kangaroo when I try to cut a dragon?

Well, back to the old drawing board.

I wonder what went wrong. I drew the outline right.

See! Maybe it's the way I cut it?

Here, you try.

C'mon, c'mon.

Steady now. Cut straight.

- There! I did it! - Well, open it up.

- Hey! - It's a dragon.

You're expecting maybe a kangaroo?

Come in, Billy. Mr. Blair's a friend of mine.

Hi!

We just want one picture, Kathy, it'll only take a minute.

Well, I won't do and I won't be in that stinking Christmas Parade.

I hate it, and I hate all those people.

Now, get outta here!

Get out! Take that thing with you!

Now, just a minute, Kathy.

Harry, Harry, wait! The boss has been callin' you, wants to see you right away.

- So, she got to him already. - What happened?

Here, I'll tell ya later, if I'm still gainfully employed.

- Sit down, we're in trouble. - Yeah, that's what I thought.

I can't find this thing, do you know a writer names Celeste Saunders?

Sure, I used to work with her on World Magazine in New York.

Well, they're sending her out here to do an article, one of her personality profiles.

Now, where's that wire? Well, anyway, she requests that you be assigned to assist her.

So, that's why you wanted to see me?

Now, this Saunders dame is unpredictable, she...

- What are you smiling about? - Oh, nothing.

Look, Harry, this is touchy!

If she likes Kathy it can be a nice break for us, if she doesn't, chopped liver.

- This is on O'Rourke? You're kidding. - Oh, yeah, yeah, sure I am.

It's gonna be a two part article. Ah, here's the wire.

Request my good friend Harry Johnson be assigned to assist me, et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, no, Matt, I don't get along with O'Rourke, I just had a row with her.

- Oh, who hasn't? Anything else? - Yes, I like to sleep nights.

So do I, and I don't wanna wake up looking for the want ads.

Now you hear me good...

The grosses on Kathy's pictures pay our salaries,

we're here to protect her from hatchet jobs.

But I can't tell Celeste what to write, did you see the piece she did on Grace in Europe?

Yeah, it was poison. But she's flyin' out here now.

- What can I do? - Have her shot down.

Oh, will you stop with the jokes, her magazine has five million circulation.

Now, you find out what her angle is,

you gotta convince her O'Rourke is a sweet, normal kid.

And that ulcers are good for ya.

Well, she checks in the Beverly Hills Hotel at eight tonight,

you be there and charm the pants off of her.

Oh, sure. What a time I picked to give up smoking.

Well, she called you her good friend.

Sure she did, she divorced me 12 years ago.

Bo!

Bobo!

Oh, no.

You always have to eat all over the house?

- You gonna buy Bo a new bike? - When I get good and ready.

Does he think I paid twenty dollars for the whole

neighborhood can scroll in that cement like Grauman's Chinese?

All right, take the cake outta here.

I couldn't get through to DeSlade, bring Celeste back here.

- Who's Celeste? - She's one of Dad's brides, Stupid.

How many did you have, Dad?

Would you leave me alone, I'm late and I'd like a little privacy.

You heard him, why don't you get outta here so we can talk?

Aw, shut up.

Bo, your Father would've told you about it before but it just never came up.

- Well, Tommy knew about it. - Nobody tells me nothin'.

It happened before you were born, Stupid.

All right, that's enough, now, all of you, clear outta here.

It's not important, Darling, it happens quite often.

Your Father and Celeste didn't get along.

- So he divorced her and he married me. - Why didn't they get along.

Helen, can't we talk about this some other time?

All right, Boys, don't bother your Father, this is a very special occasion.

Your cologne is on the top shelf, Bluebeard.

- What'd you fight with her about? - You again?

- You gonna bring her back here? - What?

Oh... you mean Miss Saunders? Yes, I might.

Now, don't ask her a lot of questions about... wh...

Bo, come here.

Son, this all happened a long, long time ago, it's all over.

- You understand, don't you? - Okay.

We're good friends now, this lady and I.

And she's a good friend of your Mother's.

Okay.

As a matter of fact, she introduced me to your Mother.

They shared an apartment together.

Well, why didn't you marry Mom first?

Well, I didn't know her first.

You see, I didn't meet her until I came back from the Army.

Okay... did you kill anybody in the Army?

No... no I didn't, Bo.

I'm sorry about writing on the walk.

Can I have a piece of that candy you hid?

Sure you can, it's in the living room, back of the bookcase.

Oh! Hey! Slow down.

Finish the dishes already?

No, but I'm kind of worrying about what to wear tonight.

Bo sure gave me the third degree, with those great big eyes and the nosy, little mind.

I'm glad... about his mind, I mean.

Oh, yeah, well, it's kinda hard to explain, though, the way she whisked you on me.

If I were you, I'd rephrase that, Buster.

- Well, you know what I mean. - I know what you mean.

Do you know what you mean?

I wonder why Celeste never married again.

Who was important enough for her? The President already has a wife.

Now, don't be unpleasant to her.

You know, she had quite a few regrets when she left you.

Remember, I lived with her after the divorce.

And there were certain things that she missed.

And you know how uninhibited Celeste can be when she talks about certain things.

- She said that you... - Helen, you're being indecent.

Run along, Sweetie, I'll see you both later.

If she wants you back, she's gonna have to throw in a shortstop and a pitcher.

- Harry! - Hello, Celeste.

Come in.

Oh, it's so good to see you. It's been such a long time.