Why Are You Like This?

If you'd actually listen to me, Peter, what I'm saying

is that you're OK with imposing white normative regulations

in order to erase my culture.

Wearing shoes in the office is standard OH&S policy, Mia.

Racist.

You're taking five 15-minute breaks a day on top of your lunch break.

Those are for prayer. I'm Muslim.

OK, yes, but Fatima told me that only two of those fall within work hours.

It's very sad to hear that Fatima's a worse Muslim than me.

I will pray for Fatima.

And yesterday, you switched Marie's phone to silent without her permission,

which really upset her.

Who even keeps their phone on loud?

The noises were triggering my anxiety. I almost had another attack.

She missed a very important call.

Yes, I'm sure Marie missed a super-important call.

Her father passed away.

Mia--

Your attempts to get rid of the one woman of color in this office

and leave her on the streets like a dog is very transparent, Peter.

Mia. You're being made redundant.

Now, I know you've only been working here a month--

There is no way you're getting rid of me.

But obviously you'll get a severance--

-Hmm? -You'll obviously get your…

severance.

Well, in that case, it has been an honor working here.

You already know her as the girl who pushes out bugless code,

but today she's your presentation pal.

So let's make her feel welcome. It's Penny.

Thanks. Richard.

So, today is R U OK? Day.

Hello!

Thanks.

Great. So you might be thinking, "This seems dumb, you know."

"Why should I care about how I feel?"

Men in particular,

due to toxic masculinity,

can often find emotional connection really difficult.

Which can lead to a high suicide rate…

and some really questionable behavior.

So, as an exercise, why don't we just take turns

going around the room, and asking each other, "Are you OK?"

I love it. Alright, let's give it a go.

Andrew…

are you OK?

No.

Great. Alright. Why?

Because I hate this.

-Ah. -

-Sorry. -That's OK.

Sorry.

OK. So--

-Is that important? -Yep, it is pretty important, sorry.

I really don't want to talk about feelings and stuff in the office.

And a lot of men feel that way, which is incorrect.

Well, that's why we have Men's Sheds, right?

- What's that? - A safe space for men.

Guys get together, build stuff, have barbecues, play video games.

Yeah, we should have a games night.

-Anyone have a shed? -We could do it in the office.

We could bring our PCs.

Oh fuck, let's play Dota.

We're getting away from the point of this meeting

which was to talk about our feelings.

- It's guys only? - Yeah.

-We should get beer. -And meat.

Oh, I fucking love meat.

-Oh, no. - Yes!

Great idea, Daniel.

-Yeah! -We should go to the Ritz!

Yeah! Fuck!

We need to go out.

I'm already going out.

I'm not gonna argue with you, Penny. I've had the most triggering day.

How did you get in my house?

I got fired because my boss is racist, sexist and balding.

Oh my god, what'd he say?

Well apparently, I "upset everyone, don't do any work and never show up on time."

-Racist. -Mm.

Is that a new mascara?

-Yeah. -Cute.

Anyway, I don't even care because I got severance pay,

so I'm buying us a million drinks tonight.

Why aren't you using your Mooncup?

It took so long to get it in and then once it was in,

all I could think about was how hard it was gonna be to take it out.

Like my IUD.

I'm just going to let it rot in there forever.

Imagine every single tampon you've ever used stuck together,

floating around in the middle of the ocean.

Like those otters that hold their hands when they sleep.

Because that's what's happening.

I just don't want a tiny chalice of blood lodged in my pussy.

Every time I take it out, it reminds me of communion.

What the fuck is communion?

-Hi! -Hi.

- Hi. -We have two under Austin's list.

-He's my housemate. -OK.

He's on next. Find a table, I'll get us a tab.

-OK. Do you want some money? -No, I'm rich!

-All good. -Thanks!

And now, please welcome to the stage, JonBenet Rams-Me!

I love gay!

Austin, you were amazing!

I know, but tell me again.

-You were amazing! -Amazing!

-I know, but I'm sad. -Why?

I lost my favorite ring last night, you guys.

-Oh no! -I know--

Who is that?

Paddington Bareback.

Yeah, why does she look so familiar?

You two run in the same circles?

-Not all brown people know each other. -Oh my god, we do!

People of color have built supportive communities for themselves,

and it's so brave.

He's a cunt. I never actually met him, but he tried to ruin my friend's wedding

by fake fainting in the middle of the speeches.

Such a desperate cry for attention.

She did the same thing at a competition

to get sympathy from the judges. She is so fake.

I'm so fuckin' wasted!

The bitch is drinking grenadine.

Oh my god, I like actively want to make his life worse.

Oh, I love making people's lives worse!

After Tim and I broke up, right before I moved out,

I unseamed all of his nice shirts just enough

so that I could hang them back up.

Then when he put them on, they fell to pieces.

I cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush

-and put it back without rinsing it. -Ohh!

And then I mixed some detergent in with his lubricant

and hid in the house and watched him bang his new boyfriend,

and it sounded fucked up and they were so confused.

I got some pins and stuck holes in all of his condoms

so that they snap when they fuck, and secretly I hope he gets AIDS.

What? They've basically cured it.

OK, we are looking for a Honda Jazz. Ooh! Honda Jazz!

Oh, here's your credit card by the way.

What the fuck, it's a Civic! Never mind. Fuck!

Um, I guess my severance pay hasn't come through yet.

Oh. OK. How are you going to get home?

I'll crash at yours.

Oi! Hurry up, sluts!

It's fine, I'm gay.

Hi!

What have you got on for today?

I guess I'll look for a job.

I checked my account and my severance pay was only $400.

-What? -I know, right?

No, Mia, you put like $1,000 on my card last night.

I thought I'd get more. Rose got like five grand when she was made redundant.

Rose is a lawyer.

Love me?

Can you borrow money from your parents?

Penny, please.

My parents risked everything and moved their lives to a foreign country

so they could give me every opportunity, and I already owe them like $1,200.

Just call some ad agencies. I'm sure someone will pick you up.

No, I want a change.

You know, something salt-of-the-earth,

outdoorsy, in touch with nature.

And cash in the hand so the Tax Office can't fuck me like they love to fuck me.

- They love to fuck us. - Yeah.

-Well, good luck. -Penny?

Do you have any food? Hello, I'm poor and dying.

No, not really. But whatever you can find, you can eat.

-Thanks, love you. -Love you!

Sorry.

So, Daniel,

I'm just working on the next day in our social calendar.

Staff party Friday?

Ah, no, International Day for Queer Visibility.

And I know you had a bunch of ideas for R U OK? Day,

and I'm sorry that I didn't consult you on that earlier.

So if you had any ideas for this one

that we talk about it ahead of time.

-Sure. -Cool. So I was thinking of doing like

a rainbow glitter lunch thing in the courtyard.

Um, OK.

Sorry.

- What's wrong with that? -Nothing.

You're not saying anything, so do you have a problem with it, or…

I don't have anything to add.

I just really feel like we should be supporting our LGBTQI+ colleagues.

I don't know, Penny. It seems to me you're pushing it a bit, that's all.

Sorry.

Hi, I'm here for the farm job.

Hey Mia, good. Hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty.

No, not at all.

So as I understand it, I'll be inseminating the cows?

Ah, no, I'll be inseminating the cows. You can help,

but I've just gotta clear each of the cow's anal cavities

and then you'll come in with a shovel and put all the manure into a pile.

Really? Because I've watched YouTube tutorials,

and I've really got the three cervixes down pat.

I just need someone to shovel the manure, so…

Oh.

And, um, keep the semen warm,