Good Girls

Previously on "Good Girls"...

Guess we're back in business.

Lemonade? We have an employee, okay?

Where did this guy go to prison?

He's gonna wash in ways that we can't.

So he just showed up with all of it?

Minus his cut, yeah.

So your sister was trying to protect you?

Who's gonna protect her?

You know what they call this in the biz?

A breakthrough.

Your principal says that you and some girls shoplifted this.

Like mother, like daughter, I guess.

We're not bad people.

No, baby, we're good people who do bad things.

I gotta show you something.

Lung...

Spleen. Shoulder.

Yeah, we both know how this ends.

I'm pregnant.

So you have a nine-month solution

to a permanent problem.

Three months. Maybe four.

Congratulations.

Paternity test.

You can do that in about a month.

Tried telling him to leave.

Says his boss needs him to keep an eye on you.

Who's his boss?

There's something I have to tell you.

Are we going to school today?

We're already late.

Where's Kenny?

Upstairs pooping.

Go get him.

Good morning.

I called the cops.

Okay.

I have kids.

I ain't got no issue with them.

- You don't wanna do that. - I think I do.

It's up to you.

Fine.

- Get arrested. - Kay.

But you know what I gotta do when I get out.

How we doing, folks?

Ma'am, got a call about someone in the neighborhood?

I called, yeah....

- It's... everything's okay... - Officer.

Thank you. Sorry.

Y'all have a good day, then.

Kay.

Harlem

Looking for some firepower?

I'm looking for something.

'Cause it's not the gun that does the damage.

It's the caliber of the bullet.

So just depends on your needs.

I need to kill a man.

Okay...

There are certain things

you can or can't say when buying a gun.

Right.

And,

well, you just said the only thing you can't say.

What if I'm dealing

with a really aggressive moose.

Like an Alaska Yukon or...

The kind that attacks you.

That'd be the Shiras.

Now, this moose...

he also has a thing for my wife.

Wait, what exactly are we talking about here?

We're talking about a moose, Sean, who breaks into my house.

He threatens my kids, has his way with my wife,

and I can't seem to ever do anything about it.

All right, well, that will...

Narrow your selection down to the Prairie Hawk,

the Liberty single-shot...

Whichever's your favorite.

Just a few easy questions for you,

like have you ever been convicted of a violent crime?

No.

Ever get a not guilty verdict by reason of insanity?

No.

Okay, well, just check "no" for the rest of these,

and we'll get back to you in a few days, maybe a week.

Well, what if I need it sooner?

Well, with this type of firearm,

they require us to do a background check.

What could I walk out with today?

He reads?

Is that an "US Weekly"?

"In Touch."

Mrs. Karpinski gave it to him

after he brought in her recycling bins.

Jesus.

How does he even go to the bathroom?

Mrs. Karpinski.

That bitch.

You guys, I can't live like this.

Okay. Okay, here's what we do.

We go to Canada and get a baby.

Get a baby?

Well, she said she's having his baby.

- We're gonna need a baby. - What are you gonna do?

Pick one up with a cruller from Tim Horton's?

Oh, my god.

That's where we got that fake cash.

I mean, who knows what else they're hiding up there?

Although we could just pay for one.

I mean, the cash exchange rate right now up there

- is actually... - You wanna buy a baby?

I want my sister to not die.

I wanna go to bed.

- Nuh. - What?

You cannot be serious, Mrs. Karpinski.

Dude.

It's like she wants him to use her bathroom.

Look at this. She got snacks on snacks now.

We'll figure something out, okay?

I'm sorry. Am I in the wrong house?

- What is happening? - Dad's mad.

About what?

I got fired from tutoring.

Tell her why.

They said I took their stupid pen.

We gave you a backpack full of school supplies.

It's not like that.

Was it used to sign the Declaration of Independence?

- Maybe. - What?

Yeah, they said it's some platinum engraved fountain deal

that costs as much as a car.

I didn't do it.

Where have we heard that one before?

How about their own daughter

who's always vaping and skipping class?

Okay, why don't you go to your room

so I can talk to your daddy?

You don't know she did it.

And you don't know she didn't.

Okay, well,

what do we do from here?

It's a "we" situation now?

And that means what?

You're the resident crime lord.

- Can't sleep? - Oh, god.

Give me a ride.

What's good?

Can I get a shot of tequila?

You might wanna slow down, yeah?

We never got to toast.

One for my baby daddy here too.

What are you doing, Elizabeth?

I lost it.

When?

Does it matter?

All right, then.

So what comes next?

Nothing good.

How much would it cost?

- For what? - My life.

Nah, too late for that.

You haven't been in the game for, what, two months?

Don't worry about it.

No pills, no cars, no cash? It's gotta hurt.

You don't know my interests.

I know they need capital.

And your guy could chop me up in a million pieces

whenever you want, so what do you got to lose?

How much am I worth?

You couldn't afford it.

What if I could?

Okay, pros and cons.

Pro. You're not dead yet.

How are we gonna get 100 grand?

- Another pro. - How is that a pro?

Well, he could have said, like, 100 bucks,

which would have been way easier,

but said a lot less about you as a person.

Do you know how many ones we're gonna have to get

to print that much?

- Con. - Thank you.

- It's a lot. - Not to mention washing it.

Con.

Okay, there are gonna be a lot more cons than pros.

How firm was he on this number?

Hey, ladies.

What is going on?

I got floss.

We were out.

What else did you get, Dean?

Got some razors, deodorant.

I'm gonna try these

Breathe Right nose strip thingies...

Why is there a shotgun on our bed?

It's the only gun I can get without a waiting period.

What if the kids find it?

I'll hide the ammo.

- And what if they find that? - They won't.