Glee

So here's what you missed last week:

Puck had to shave his mohawk and people started picking on him

so he started dating Mercedes to seem cool again, because she was on the Cheerios!

- But then she quit. - It's just not who I am.

Finn's mom Carol is dating Kurt's dad Bert

which was totally Kurt's idea, but then Kurt got mad that

- Bert and Finn started hanging out. - I miss you, Dad

Rachel hurt her voice and couldn't sing, and she kind of thought that was the only thing that was important.

I need applause to live.

But then Finn introduced her to a friend who showed her

that there's a lot worse things to lose than your voice.

- I compensate with humor. - And that's what you missed on Glee.

Hey, you wanted to see me?

William, there's someone I'd like to introduce you to.

He's the newest member

of our school board.

And he'd like to speak to you.

Will Schuester, meet Mr. Bryan Ryan.

We've met.

Bryan Ryan.

We went to school together, and he made my life a living hell.

He was two years older.

Dated every girl I liked.

Got every solo.

♪ Cheer up, Sleepy Jean. ♪

♪ Oh, what can it mean? ♪

♪ To a daydream believer ♪

♪ and a homecoming queen... ♪

What's the matter, Schuester, cat got your talent?

I'm here to do an audit of our curriculum, Will.

We may need to cut some of our district's

- art programs. - It's really just

a formality, William.

No, it's not. We'll probably cut the Glee Club.

What?!

But... but you were in the Glee Club.

Show choir was your life.

It was, Will.

And after I graduated, I hit the big time.

I was a featured soloist

at King's Island in The Dooble-Dee-Doo Musical Revue.

We were a smash.

Then for three years,

I did the cruise ship circuit.

But when that dried up,

I realized I had been sold a bill of goods.

Nine years later,

I woke up on a urine-stained mattress

in the West Lima crack district.

Then...

something amazing happened.

I was introduced to Jesus.

He was my Honduran social worker.

I straightened up,

put down the pipe,

met the love of my life, Wilma,

and now I run a successful used Hummer dealership.

Don't make that face.

Global warming's a theory.

And four nights a week,

I run a show choir conversion group.

Hi, I'm Brenda.

And it's been 42 days since I sang a show tune.

Hi, Brenda.

Years ago when I auditioned to play

Miss Adelaide in Guys and Dolls,

I was asked to take my top off.

Evidently, that is not... customary.

And... that's when I started huffing glue.

My name is Russell. I'm a Glee Club survivor.

Whenever anything bad would happen,

I would just say, "Let's put on a show."

Well, guess what?

"Puttin' on a show!"

about your father's prostate cancer

: will actually just make him more depressed

about the situation.

Show choir kills.

I just want to have a talk with your kids.

Make sure you're not building up their hopes

just to have them knocked down.

What if I say no?

Just let him speak to the kids, William.

Let Mr. Bryan Ryan contribute to the marketplace of ideas.

What's the worst that can happen?

Okay, guys, listen up.

This is Mr. Ryan.

He's a member of the school board,

and he would like to say a few words.

I... I just want you guys to listen critically

and know that what he's saying

is just one of many opinions.

Take out a piece of paper.

And on that paper, I want you to write down

your biggest dream.

A dream that means so much,

you're afraid to admit it even to yourself.

Your dream is never going to happen.

91% of you

will spend your entire lives living in Allen County, Ohio.

So unless you wrote down that your dream was

to "work for a mid-market health insurance provider"

or "find an entry level job in an elderly care facility,"

you're going to be very disappointed.

This is really depressing.

I'm going to guess that a lot of your dreams

involve "showbiz."

Well, let me tell you.

Showbiz dreams are the most unrealistic of them all.

But... that's what I want to do with my life.

Oh, look, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings,

I'm just trying to spare you disappointment.

I think we get your point.

Aw, well, Schuester here's a prime example.

He used to have that glimmer of hope in his eyes

that I can see right now in all of yours.

But he couldn't make it happen for himself,

so he now has to try and convince you all

that it will happen for you.

Guess what?

His dream didn't work out.

And neither will yours.

Okay, you're done here.

You would be wise to show me some respect.

You've said your piece.

Now get out.

Well, Schuester, I should thank you.

You've made my decision about which program to cut

a lot easier.

Thanks.

Godard on Godard?

He was the master of the French New Wave.

I was figuring that since I'm never going to become a star

as a performer, maybe I could become one behind the camera.

Did you know Christopher Reeve directed a movie

after his accident? In the Gloaming.

Didn't see it.

Oh, me neither. Too depressing.

Is that what you wrote as your dream?

Before Bryan Ryan crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash?

Yes.

Why are you lying to me?

After everybody left,

I went back for my book bag

and something stopped me.

That was supposed to be private.

I don't understand you.

You're always talking about wanting to get with me,

but you won't be honest with me about your hopes and dreams.

I'm in a wheelchair, but I'm still a guy.

What's the difference?

I'm never going to actually become a dancer.

My legs are never going to work again.

It was stupid.

I was thinking...

Mr. Shue is so busy dealing with Bryan Ryan

that he didn't give us an assignment for the week.

So, why don't we do one on our own?

A dance number.

You want to dance with me?

You were pretty hot in "Proud Mary."

Why don't we try and kick it up a few notches.

Hi.

Hi.

How was your spring break?

Good.

It's good to be back.

What were you just rehearsing?

A guy came to Glee Club to talk to us about dreams.

Luckily, I've known mine since I was four.

I'm going to play three parts on Broadway...

Evita, Funny Girl and Laurey in Oklahoma.

I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly.

It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.

That's not a dream.

A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside.

The one thing that you know if it came true,

all the hurt would go away.

You singing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina,"

in front of a sold-out crowd, isn't a fantasy.

It's an inevitability.

I thought you'd never come back.

And miss all your drama?

Never.

So what is it, your dream?

I don't know.

Well, then go inside, find it and ask it what it's gonna take.

Why are you pushing this?

Because you're my girlfriend,

and I want to know all your secrets.

When you lie awake at night, what's missing?

My mom.

Your mom?

You mean like you want to meet her?

I just would like to know who she is.

I don't really need to meet her or anything,

but maybe just find out her name or... something about her.

Hmm.

It's silly.

It's not like it's going to happen or anything.