Hellaware

This looks like a brain-dead toddler drew it.

You mean a mentally challenged toddler?

I mean a retarded toddler.

Looks like your girlfriend disagrees with you.

We try to go to Norway at least once a year.

The last time, I stayed in this

200-year-old cabin for a month.

Uh-huh.

I was all alone. I didn't talk to anyone.

That's where I did most of these.

You know, just 'cause he used to be a pro skater

doesn't mean that he's a serious artist now.

What an amazing red.

I can see he's really fixated

on this dichotomy we have going here

between nature versus art.

He also infuses

his pastels with cow's blood.

It's an elaborate process.

I almost went crazy.

Literally.

I barely made it back to reality.

But is this even reality?

I can't believe this thing cost five dollars.

That's not actually a bad price.

Okay.

Uh... look, Nate.

I want to be friends.

I do, it's... I'm really busy right now.

- Busy with Jordan, right? - No. No.

There's nothing going on with Jordan.

It's about me. It's got...

There's nothing wrong with you.

I know that. Yeah, I know, too.

And yeah, I do like being around

successful people like Jordan because

he pushes me, and... And inspires me.

And frankly, I feel like your lethargy is stunting me.

He doesn't even like you.

He fucks, like, ten girls a week and you're just another one of them...

What? You don't even fucking... that's really...

That's the best you can come up with?

You don't even know him.

I know that his art show is awful.

Yeah, you wish you had your own art show.

Yeah, well, actually I've got a new project.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

- Sure you do. - You know, whatever.

Have fun with the pigtail man himself.

And don't call me when he dumps you.

I mean, dude. Dude.

He has a lot to offer her.

I mean, he has his own gallery show.

Famous friends.

A constant stream of revenue.

He's athletic. And he's tormented.

I mean, like, I'm not trying to be a dick,

but... what do you have?

I mean, if that's what she's into,

and she falls for that, then that's her bad.

Not yours. Like, I've been to some

really, really bad shows. But that was definitely

the worst one I've ever been to in my life.

And if, like, that's what she's into.

Like, his doodles and pigtails,

then it just wasn't meant to be.

Yeah, the pigtails are what hurt the most, you know?

It's all just so stupid. But you know what?

Whatever. He's got the balls to do something like that,

and I don't, you know? That's his look.

If I try to do something like that,

it would just look weak, y'know?

I need my own look.

You're being totally superficial.

It's not about how you look or how crazy you can act.

Like, Jordan Pierce is completely devoid of any skill or craft.

At least you get to say you're more talented than him.

Yeah, a sixth grader can say that he's

more talented than him. Who cares?

That doesn't matter.

You understand that, right? That doesn't fucking matter.

You know? Fuck all of this.

I just, I hate my life, you know that?

I mean, what if I bleached my hair blonde

and started wearing only turquoise turtlenecks

and pierced my right ear. Would that be cool?

Not really, but I would vouch for you.

I would definitely have your back there.

That's the point. I couldn't do that

if I wanted to.

This coke is terrible.

How about that auction?

Oh my god.

Don't get me started with that.

That's my fucking boy. Solomon Winterbourne.

That shit going for like 50 mil.

Like a Russian tsar or some shit like that.

Dude, it's the most offensive shit ever.

That shit is living history.

No, well, you know what it is?

- What is it? - It's just repulsive.

- You know what, fuck you... - It's completely offensive.

I don't wanna hear you.

Doesn't that offend you? At all?

This is... I just think it's...

This is dope.

This is so stupid.

Oh my god, why are you such a fucking hater?

You wish you had a swimming pool.

Yeah, no shit. I mean, I wish I was him.

What is this?

Young torture killaz "I'll cut yo dick off."

See, this is more my speed.

Are you fucking serious here?

Wait, where did you find this?

It was just on the sidebar there.

It just has some of the same keywords

as the Solomon Winterbourne thing, I don't know.

Severed dicks, apparently.

So Nate, tell me, what've you been up to?

You're gonna critique me now?

Of course I am.

After graduation, I worked in

an art supply store for a while.

I hung paintings in a gallery for a week.

It's pretty bleak out there.

What about your real work? What about your photography?

Eh, not so much.

That's one of the reasons I came by.

I thought about you recently.

I saw this video, and it reminded me

of your photography

and the ethnographic image class.

Do you mind if I show you something? Not a bit.

So it's this white rap group from Delaware.

- Mm-hmm. - I don't know. There's something to it.

Wow.

This is a great dialectic.

It's so violent, yet somehow serene.

In a way,

it's the quintessential American image.

I mean, it's not some kind of incestuous

New York socialite shit.

- Not a bit. - Something, yeah, something that's

been pre-approved by the highbrow elite.

It feels very, I don't know,

natural to me.

Now, what would you call this kind of music?

- Rap rock. - Fantastic.

Tell me, Nate.

Have you ever of a man called Olivier LaFleur?

Yeah. Of "LaFleur Nagumi Gallery?"

Exactly. He's the champion

of outsider art

and marginalized culture.

And I think this is the kind of thing

that he'd be interested in.

Totally.

He's got a collection

of Russian erotica

that's very strange

and pretty interesting.

If you could possibly

photograph these kids,

I might be able to arrange

an introduction with him.

Oh, man. You have no idea

what that would mean to me.

Well, I mean, I'll see what I can do.

You have to do the hard part.

How did you rope me into doing this again?

Remember, it's a new experience.

It's gonna broaden your horizons.

I mean, how many times in life are you gonna be able to say

that you've been to painlord's house of a thousand maniacs?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of.

I think that one time is probably one time too many.

Assuming that we're gonna be alive by the end of it.

Dude, they're, like, a bunch of a teenagers.

Yeah. The only time I ever got mugged

was by a bunch of teenagers. Teenagers are the worst.

Maybe this will change your attitude.

Get us in the mood.

Is this the only song they have?

I guess we'll find out tonight.

I just feel like the whole point of being down here

is to try and capture some authenticity.

And the only way we're gonna be able to do that

is we kind of stay open and nonjudgmental.

This is what they talk about when they talk about

the geography of nowhere.

Man, I really wish I had my super-8 camera with me.

Were we... we were supposed to get off

at 299?

I don't know. What do the directions say?

I'm confused, because we were supposed

to get off at 13 a while ago, and that never happened. So...

The show is basically starting right now.

When have you ever been to a show that started on time?

- Plenty of times. - Oh yeah? Which band?