The Upshaws

I like when you make breakfast, Daddy.

Wait, you said that's how your mom do it.

You believed me? I'm six.

Maya, you too damn cute to lie that good.

Thank you.

-Good morning. -Hey, baby.

Let me get some coffee in me and then I'll get breakfast started.

Daddy already made it.

And that's why Mommy's gonna remake it.

Baby, we too broke to afford insulin shots.

Well, forget the coffee.

I got something hot and Black waiting for you right now.

- -What do you want?

Nothing.

Why is it every time I'm nice you think I want something?

-Seriously? -Yeah.

Bennie Upshaw.

You closing the shop to go to Vegas Saturday?

Oh, there you go, you little angry Chia Pet.

Um… So you trying to go to Vegas this Saturday?

Sure. Kick it with Tony down at the Golden Nugget.

Aaliyah's birthday party is this Saturday.

That's why I told him no.

Excuse me.

Explain to me again why you're holding on to that.

Okay, so I've been thinking about my birthday.

Wouldn't it be cool if we got a photo booth?

Oh, yeah.

But that's not the budget we working with.

I can take pictures of your little friends with my phone.

-Nobody wants to pose for a jitterbug. -Hmm.

Well, I guess nobody wants a present.

-I love you, Auntie Lucretia. -Aw, that'll get you a card.

Aaliyah, take Maya upstairs and get ready for school.

So listen, guys, I got the last RSVP this morning.

Bennie, are we all set for The Lotus Room?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You talking about the massage parlor down by the Costco?

They shut that down.

No, the party space. Downtown?

Oh, yeah, I know about that.

He ain't know shit.

Regina, I told you he's gonna ruin Aaliyah's birthday.

Why you keep acting like he can do things?

Shouldn't you be somewhere stomping on Tokyo?

Hey, hey, hey. Bennie, this is serious.

This is our little girl's 13th birthday.

And when have I ever let you down? When?

Look, Bennie, it's your baby mama.

Tasha.

Tasha…

What's the hell's wrong with you? You just can't pop up here on Regina.

Remember what happened last time?

Ugh, I never got that bacon grease out of my good wig, by the way.

Now, I need you to talk to your son.

Damn it! Kelvin! Get out of the mailbox!

That ain't your shit!

Good news, Dad. You may already be a winner.

Your son got suspended.

Mr. Sticky Fingers done got caught with a teacher's wallet.

A teacher?

Boy, didn't I tell you teachers ain't got no money?

Look, look. Maybe I found the wallet.

Boy, please.

Look, I got clients, so if you can get him during the day,

I'll get him at night after I finish this weave.

How long you gonna be?

It shouldn't be too long.

The bitch got a head the size of golf ball, so…

-Bye, Mom. -Bye.

What the…

I wish I had some blinds on the outside.

Come on, man. You ain't got no party rooms?

Party closets.

Hello?

-Damn. -Hey.

-Yeah, The Lotus Room all booked up. -Oh, man.

You know what's not booked up? Vegas.

Come on, man. Aaliyah's birthday happen every year.

The rooms at the Golden Nugget aren't always half price, man.

With a continental breakfast.

Man, I gotta be there for my kids.

My dad was no good, so it made me do some messed up stuff back in the day.

Back in the day?

Negro, you did some ignorant shit this morning.

Where you come from? No one said your name three times.

I want my car. You said it was gonna be ready two weeks ago.

It ain't like you got to pay for it.

Oh, I'm paying for it dearly.

Never should've fronted this place with my hard-earned money.

Hard-earned? You fell through a jetway.

I fell hard and I earned it.

You agreed to be a silent partner. When is the silence gonna start?

You're a mechanic. When is that shit gonna start?

Free man walking. Free man walking.

-Duck, they finally sprung you! -

Welcome home, player!

Ah!

-Oh, man. -Look at you.

Damn, Duck, they let you out.

-It's good to see you. -Yeah.

Do they know you out?

Yeah, it's legit this time.

-Why didn't you let me pick you up? -You were supposed to pick me up.

Did I say that?

Get out of here, man. Davis got me.

Yeah, us vets take care of each other.

Well, damn, you couldn't take your boy to the mall? Shit.

Come on, man! This is what I was wearing when I went in. What you want?

I'm surprised that judge didn't give you more time for wearing that ugly-ass shirt.

Bennie, Bennie, Bennie. Man, this all you?

Yeah, this is all me, man.

I haven't forgot what you did for me.

I could've easily been in there with you.

Usually, the getaway driver shouldn't be the only one getting away.

But I'm gonna make it up to you, man. Whenever you're ready, you got a job here.

Hey, I'm ready to work now.

Whoa, whoa, don't work too hard, now.

Look, me and the fellas at the VFW, we going all-in for your fresh-out party.

- Yeah! -Ah!

-Yeah, we gonna have rum… -Nothing too crazy, all right?

You know, I'm a changed man.

I found Jesus inside.

-Oh, yeah? That's nice. -Right…

Hey, Duck! Welcome back.

Hey, Lucretia, you looking good.

Oh.

Prison just takes everything from you.

No.

These are for your sister's party.

This is torture.

You'll live.

Is Bennie here yet?

-No. -Then let me catch my breath.

Now, you know how much it pains me to bring you bad news about Bennie…

But, girl, your trifling-ass husband has hit a new low.

Here, baby. Go take this into the living room.

Don't get any in your hair.

What did I tell you about shit-talking Bennie in front the kids?

Not to do it. But, girl, you gotta hear this shit.

The only thing I want you to do right now is help me in this kitchen.

I been helping you all my life.

When Bennie got you pregnant in high school, Mama said,

"Lucretia, we gotta put our lives on hold and raise little baby Bernard

while your whore sister goes off to college."

Mama's words.

Damn, these cupcakes are good.

Hey, hey, hey!

These are for the party on Saturday.

There ain't gonna be a party on Saturday.

Bennie didn't book The Lotus Room.

What? How do you know that?

Because I called, like you should have.

Maybe they made a mistake.

Unless he booked Aaliyah's party under the Kirshenbaum's bar mitzvah,

these cupcakes aren't going anywhere.

Mazel.

Hey.

When were you going to tell me you didn't book The Lotus Room?

Damn, baby, give me a chance to change the subject.

I'm sorry. It was booked.

Ooh, Aaliyah's gonna be so pissed with you.

- -I'm gonna go wait for her on the porch.

Hey, hey, no.

Bennie is gonna be the one to tell Aaliyah that he screwed up.

I didn't screw nothing up. They can have the party right here.

Her and her little friends, they can sweep,

and play with refrigerator magnets,

and set off all the little mousetraps.

We promised her a party space.

You got one day to find it.

I got this.

Ooh! Cupcakes.

Who are those for?

I will be damned.

I can't believe every party room is booked.

That's the same problem Mary and Joseph had.

Joseph forgot to book The Lotus Room, too?

I'm gonna pray for you.

Here.

Hey, there's that friendly delivery service that I come to love.

Stop ordering things just to see me, Bennie.

Come on, let's kick it. Let me take you to the Pacers game, Bernard.

You my son, man. It'll be fun. What you doing Saturday?

Going to Aaliyah's party.

Damn. I knew I had something to do Saturday.

Let's hope you do.

I heard you screwed up her party.

-How's everybody know about that? -We got a family group chat.

I'm not on that.

It's mostly about you.

Oh…

Look, I got a space in my building. We can have Aaliyah's party there.

Nobody needs your sad, single-man, meeting room/laundry room.

The laundry room's adjacent.

And we got board games now.

Hey, look, man. I'm her father. I got this.

Oh, now you want to be a dad. Where were you when I was growing up?

Growing up, too.

- -You was born when I was in high school.