Apparitions

You made it!

- We made it. - Are you with anybody?

Why are you wearing that?

Uh, look around.

You didn't graduate.

They don't know that.

I noticed they got here after the ceremony.

All right, so I may have told them the wrong time

and avoided telling them I changed courses midyear.

- Ali! - I'll tell them, I swear.

At an awkward dinner five years from now.

I mean, look, look at those poor adorable fools.

Do you really want me to ruin their hopes and dreams

with the news that continue to be a fuckup today?

You're a terrible, terrible person.

Guilty as charged.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

Thought I'd stop by, say congrats.

Checking up on me.

I'm sorry I didn't bring anything,

there really isn't a registry for graduations.

So, how are you?

Keeping busy.

You?

Good, yeah.

Almost a psychologist now.

That is great.

It's just great.

Well, I've gotta get back.

Just wanted to wish you well.

Thanks for um, coming, Jane.

It was really good to see you.

You too, kid.

You made a friend?

Who the hell was that?

And did she just check me out?

It's just an old friend.

Uh, you're not getting away with that, that easily.

No, Ali, wait, Ali...

Hey!

Cool ride, can I be you when I grow up?

Sorry, um, it's just Lily's never mentioned you

or any of her family or friends, or anyone really.

So this is kind of a huge deal.

Uh, how long have you known her?

Are you guys related?

We're not related.

And if Lily doesn't wanna talk about something,

isn't that her business?

Look, Lily's private, I get that's part of the deal.

But she's not really been herself lately

- and I was... - And who is that, exactly?

Look, if anything happens to her,

or if she seems stranger than normal,

call this number first.

Okay, but why would anything happen to her?

Lily, I am so, so sorry.

It's fine, don't worry about it.

No, you don't understand.

I rushed out of work, got home to change,

wore that special shirt you bought me.

You know the one with those crazy flowers on it.

Oh, you mean the one that I got you as a joke?

Hey, I love that shirt.

I jumped in the car, switched on the GPS lady and took off.

I was actually running early.

Now, you know how good I am with directions.

Not at all.

Exactly, which is why I used the lady,

but this time she's taken me out in the middle of nowhere.

Every 10 seconds she's telling me to do a u-turn.

Turns out I plugged in the wrong MacArthur Street.

Melbourne has three of them.

So I searched for the other address

and speed your way.

Finally, I am traveling the right direction when boom!

The traffic stops.

For 20 minutes we inch along, when finally I see it.

What?

A kitten.

A kitten.

Little shit wouldn't get off the road.

Someone would chase it off and it would run

straight back on.

It had a death wish, I guess.

Can cats have death wishes?

So you're telling me that a kitten stopped you

from coming to my graduation.

Well, a kitten and my own stupidity.

I'm so sorry, Lil, I really wanted to be there.

It's fine, I'm here with Ali.

We'll walk home together.

Why don't I made you dinner?

You can't even turn on your oven without

giving yourself third degree burns.

Skin grafts are temporary, love.

This is forever.

No, I'm pretty sure skin grafts are permanent, idiot.

Oh, fuck.

That girl's gotta have rocks for brains

to fall for that nonsense.

Don't talk like that about her.

Why?

'Cause you wuv her?

Sorry!

I forgot what a noble hero you are.

But I'm a damsel under much...

...distress.

Will you stop?

She'll be coming over later,

I have to make dinner and do housework.

Or...

Do me, instead.

So I'm guessing golden boy had another elaborate excuse?

So the family are treating me to a dinner tonight.

Wanna join us?

Laugh at my jokes?

Stop me from actually murdering them?

Oh, and there is a grad after-party tonight

which I'm sure is going to be highly inappropriate

and far too messy.

Wanna meet me there?

Course not.

Who am I asking?

Call me later.

You can jump in any time you like, you know.

The anticipation of pleasure is much better

than pleasure itself.

Where did you get that from?

I think it was a film except it was "death"

and "worse" and not "pleasure" and...

Fuck was that?

Shit, what time is it?

Okay, time to go.

This isn't a game, Vi, she'll be...

She'll be sad for a few hours, do some shots

and get over it.

Violet.

Joshua.

Please?

You know, one of these days I might

get really fucking offended.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Fuck, Violet.

Vi.

Is that you?

I swear I'll wring her neck.

This is not fucking funny, Vi.

Before anyone says a word, please keep all conversation

to a modest volume, please and thank you.

Hey.

Lil!

I just broke my own rule.

Missed you last night.

As usual, things happened, then they escalated.

It got apocalyptic pretty quickly.

What did you do?

I, ah, just had a quiet one.

Really?

I thought you'd be having a nice night

in with the boy toy.

As far as I'm concerned,

the boy toy no longer exists.

Oh, Lil, sorry.

Do we have cake?

Come join us.

Hello Lily, you there?

I'd love to, but I can't.

I've had to head off for a day or two.

Did you just go on an adventure without me?

Sorry hon, but this is one I have to do on my own.

You know what happens a hero leaves

her sidekick behind, right?

It's never good.

I'll be fine.

I'll be back before you can say lickety split.

Lickety split.

Well, fast, but not that fast, smartass.

Well, call me when you get to wherever

it is that you're going, okay?

Love you.

Love you.

Is she okay?

Hope so.

Shit.

How are ya, love?

- What can we get you? - Oh!

- Um... - Oh, never mind that lot.

Don't get many like you out here.

You know, a pretty girl away from the city

rolling up stag all the way out here

in the middle of nowhere?

Let me guess, car ran outta juice.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Right, you're not the first one.

See old Murray there?

His car ran out of petrol 30 years ago and he never left!

Um, where is the nearest petrol station?

Oh, about 40k up the road?