Men Think Only of That (Les hommes ne pensent qu'à ça…)

MEN ONLY THINK ABOUT 1 THING...

Sir, decide now...

A Reblochon, Pont-I'Évêque, Carré de I'Est?

Food, men think of nothing else.

Really? It seems the shop assistant interests you.

Love... we men think of nothing else.

Excuse me, Mr Alfred. -It's nothing...

Excuse me.

Good evening, Mr Alfred. -Good evening, Miss Nicole.

Is that all, Mr Alfred? When will you talk to her?

So you don't dare...

In love there are those who dare and those who don't...

There is nothing difficult, you must find the right words.

A kind word...

You see?

This little couple is on the right track...

Excuse me, sir... I must ring. Excuse me.

Thank you.

It is of course simpler that men only think about that...

while women think about something else.

The morning begins for him with...

dairy products, cheeses, cream hearts...

His stomach begins to rumble.

The creamy cravings. Has he already eaten for 3 months?

It is simple, everyone calls him: "cream heart".

Yes, I know.

I attack - Marshal Foch.

Attack - Marshal of Saxony, arms - Marshal Ney.

Poor Alfred. It still won't work for you.

Good, we will see. "Talk to Nicole tomorrow".

Yes, of course... write it on your mirror too.

Congratulations.

I am going to talk to Nicole today.

Come on... I'm going for it.

Here comes Mr Alfred... he is confident.

He is a good boy. -For how long it will last.

What would he want? -I don't know...

Come on, pull yourself together.

Hello, Mr Alfred. -Good morning madam.

I am pouring the soup. -Good.

Miss Nicole... -Mr Alfred.

I would like...

I would like...

You look very good. -Thank you.

Tonight... -Yes?

Good day everyone.

Hello, Mr Jacques. -Miss Nicole...

I do not want to buy anything... and no cream hearts either.

What are you doing this evening?

I don't know yet, and you Mr Alfred?

It could be... maybe... -I know.

I am taking you to ketch. -Where?

To ketch. Alright?

Thank you, Mr Jacques. See you this evening.

See you this evening. And especially do not use cream puffs.

Goodbye, pretty face.

What did you want, Mr Alfred? -A cream puff.

Everyone is in love, everyone is kissing... And I am here all alone.

Because he is shy.

Although he is an adult and in good health, he is not stupid...

he is nice, cute... but he does not dare.

My dear, a little courage... what is that?

Where are you, sir? -I am here.

Here.

Here.

But who are you, sir? -Don Juan.

The great Don Juan? -Cream heart, huh?

Everyone calls you that, huh? -How so?

I have been observing you for a week. -But I have not met you yet.

I can make myself invisible. If you serve the devil you have some advantages.

Your cream puffs are ridiculous. -I love her.

Then seduce her. - I cannot. -I will teach you...

To seduce women... -I only want to seduce one.

She is the woman of my life. -Even with one you need help.

But how should I do it? -Now you are there.

You can learn everything except love.

It is fools who say you cannot learn anything from love.

You must study love like chemistry.

I agree. -Congratulations.

From now on you are my student, listen carefully.

Are you sure I will be able to seduce Nicole?

I am sure. -I am listening to you.

First a bit of history. You can find it in different eras.

Women always want to listen to us.

It is still the same, it has to do with fashion, for example...

Among the ancient Jews women were sensitive to travel.

I want to take you on my ship. -Mr Noah.

The Greeks seduced women with artistic talent.

He apparently has a nice collection of music.

Among the old Franks it was different.

Like for example with King Dagobert...

Your Majesty is rather brutal.

The knights were specialized in ironware.

And how is your husband? Still on crusade?

Under Henry III...

it became rather quiet regarding women.

Under Henry IV, time was caught up.

What were these two beauties called?

This one ploughs, and this one grazes.

could still come in handy.

In the 17th century fashion came from the mouth.

What a beautiful lady you are, my heart melts when...

I see you, I have enormous desires for you.

My wonderful Alistair...

this well-guarded fortress needs a competent attack...

they will lay down their weapons before a good captain.

Madam, does that mean you have a thing for someone else?

Didn’t you understand the hint, that the moment has arrived?

Couldn’t you have said it earlier?

During the revolution women adored our heroes.

My darling. -Can I hide at your place?

You look pale... What else can I do?

I will explain that to you still.

Long live the Republic.

Napoleon III saw everything in a very grand way.

And how are those great boulevards?

I’m almost done, sire. -Don’t forget the walkways.

At the beginning of the 20th century they hunted women like that.

What’s your name, darling?

Leontine. And you? -Henri.

If you like the countryside, I have a country house in the Gambe.

Then ask for Mr. Landru. -I’m burning myself.

That’s a good start.

That was it. -That won’t help me further.

My methods are excellent for flirting with any lady. Let’s...

finish the little stories and move on to theory.

Your main weapon is the voice, the eye and the gesture.

Let’s start with the voice.

With these banal words like these you’ll manage just fine, look.

Nice weather, huh? -Yes, that’s right.

I understood that... -Quiet. Look there.

Miss, how do I get to the Champs-Élysées?

The Champs-Élysées? Go straight ahead.

Two streets further, turn right...

then you arrive at Place de la CONCORDE. You know Place de la CONCORDE, right?

The big obelisk. -Yes.

You turn around and then you come to the avenue of the Champs-Élysées.

Do you understand? -No.

Two streets to the right and then you reach the Champs-Élysées.

Do you understand? -Let’s go together.

What do we have here?

Clever. -Shall we continue?

Yes.

Madam, I am a hero of both wars...

I have two medals and three wounds.

But, sir... -You don’t believe me?

Here is my veterans’ card and I will show you the wounds later.

I have travel benefits as a former soldier and many more benefits.

In that case sir... France comes first.

The worship of heroes.

It always works. -You must have done both.

I only did the last one, and even then.

You must be patient, if words confuse you, use gestures.

Or these gestures.

You must definitely see these gestures.

We cannot foresee everything, maybe it is better to keep distance.

Yes, of course.

The eyes, the eyes play a big role.

The eyes? -Of course, my dear.

You use your eyes to seduce, it is very important.

For example a wink... rolling eyes...

velvet eyes, eyes that touch.

The classic eye movements, to the right, to the left, squinting eyes.

I don’t know...

We will have to practice it. You probably don’t know...

the main techniques yet, have a look at this.

I follow beauty.

I cast a penetrating look... that gives chills down the spine...

staring at her...

making a small movement with your shoulders...

your eyes will look as if you are undressing her...

and I dress her again according to the season...

you roll your eyes until she comes to you...

and look at her with a murderous gaze.

That was it.

And now all together, the voice, the gesture and the eye are masters of seduction.

And, does someone like that exist? -Yes, but very rare.

I am an example of that. I had...

a talented student, look.

He was certainly not handsome but knew what to do in such a situation.

Here you see him as a cycling champion.

And here he was in Africa.

During a ceremony.

And during a holiday in the countryside.

For this man there is no difficulty, he seduces them all.

He needs a whole wardrobe. -Not at all.

A perfect seducer always wears the same clothes, only details change.

He has an assortment of ties. Striped ties, a bow tie...

and a light tie. He also has three different hats...

a hat, a cap and a beret.

He can play four different characters.

These accessories allow him to...

seduce... the maid, high-ranking women and worldly women.

This carousel would fit parties in my garden.

What are you talking about?

Do you want to take a ride? -Leave me alone.

3 pigs that love each other 2 green children...

I have finally found a girlfriend...

a sad girl, standing near the carousel...

perhaps reads the verses of: Baudelaire, Brel, Prevert.