The Raging Moon

Bruce!

- To you! - No!

Over here!

Bloody maniac!

Hey! Free kick! Come on! Over here!

Right, put the ball down, then. Put it down and get on with it.

Right!

Bruce!

Go on!

- Go on, Bruce! - Goal!

Yes! Yes! Goal!

Ref!

Hey! Hey, ref! Hey!

- Offside! - You're a maniac!

What was wrong with that, eh, ref?

Even the flag was up. No doubt about it.

No more, else I'll send you off.

Right, off you go. I said off.

- It wasn't offside. - I've sent you off. Now get off.

Bloody ref! Bloody ref!

To me!

It was never offside, never offside, Will.

- You shouldn't have gone on like that. - Eh?

- You shouldn't have gone on like that. - Come on, the whites!

Time for winning

Time for losing

Time enough to find which way you're going

Running somewhere

Not that I care

Life surprises me each day

Don't you worry 'bout my way of living

It's not me who needs a helping hand

If you get to feeling good by giving

Give away and I'll understand

For that's your way but I can make it

I can take it

And if I ever get to choose

I will never lose

Love is something nice to say to someone

It's a word I like to use

But it's easier to share with no-one

Love's been known to fly away

Not today...

Look, love, last time I'm asking. Do you want a night out or not?

A night out? Oh, lovely. We know what that is, don't we?

Four rounds with no gum shields and a torn blouse.

- Oh, give over. - Right.

Hey! Stop at the corner, will you?

- Right. - Good night, all!

See you around, eh?

Good night, Edna.

See you next week.

Not if you play as you did today, you won't.

Look, that was a bloody good goal.

I'll get by

You know, somehow

It's time for winning now

Well, I'm back all in one piece and sober.

That makes a change.

Well, aren't you gonna ask me how we did?

Well, how did you do, dear?

- We lost. - Oh.

- Got to keep up tradition. - Oh.

The ref was duff, though. He sent me off.

- Who was? - The ref, duff. All piss and point.

Oh, Bruce, not on your brother's wedding night.

Well, he's got to get used to life's rich pageant, hasn't he?

Thank you, love.

Where are the tits, Harold?

Aren't you gonna treat us to a drink, then?

Why?

Why? Tradition, that's why.

You're very strong on tradition, aren't you?

Sure. Everybody has a stag party before their wedding night.

Well, I'm not everybody

and I've no intention of getting blind drunk the night before I get married.

- Or after. - All right.

Do you think she'll turn up?

Now, don't tease him the moment you're in.

- Well, it's happened before. - Never in our fam...

- Well, in my family, anyway. - Oh, yes, yes.

I wonder if she knows how mean you are.

I don't propose to discuss my intended with you.

Now, look, stop getting at each other on t'last night.

Harold's got a lot on his mind.

Well, it's a very unhealthy thing to do, if you ask me, on his last night.

- Carving a cow. - Gladys is a very nice girl.

And what's good enough for Harold is good enough for me.

Drop it, drop it.

Well, somebody's got to celebrate. Any booze left, Dad?

Aye. Must be a drop of something here, I suppose, left over.

'Jackson again.'

Aye, here it is.

'Jones.'

Mm, that's been there for years, Dad.

It's not so bad. Be matured.

I know Gladys's mother's taking care of it all,

and I'm not saying a word against her,

but I just don't want anything to go wrong.

What could go wrong?

They could all get food poisoning, couldn't they?

- Cheers, Dad. - Cheers.

Aye, you're always reading about it.

56 wedding guests struck down with the bubonic or something.

- Groom dies on honeymoon. - Oh, Bruce.

- Who's doing the food, then? - That firm in Archer Street.

Don't like the sound of that.

What do you know about it?

They did the Red Cross dance, didn't they? Got ten girls pregnant.

Look at that, Dad.

Don't get nervous, Harold dear.

Nothing'll go wrong if you're careful.

Have you got your train tickets in a safe place, dear?

- In my wallet. - Safe enough in there.

Don't forget to send us a telegram as soon as you arrive.

He's not going to the Congo for his honeymoon.

Oh, I sometimes wish you'd go to t'Congo.

Oh, then you'd miss me, wouldn't you? Eh? Eh?

Oh, stop it, Bruce. Stop it now.

Come on, give us a kiss. I'm the best man to kiss.

Look at those stud marks.

I scored a beauty today.

- Did you? - Yeah.

The bugger disallowed it. Offside. It was never offside.

Now hurry up!

That's gonna hurt tomorrow morning.

Take those into the kitchen!

- Do you feel nervous, then? - Numb. Funny, really, isn't it?

- What? - Last time I'm sleeping here.

Dad, look, I've told you to pick up those things!

Never thought I'd get married.

Never?

Well, I've thought about it, you know, but it never seemed real somehow,

and I never thought she'd have me.

I expect she loves you.

Dad, look, I've told you to pick up those things!

- I love her. - Well, you're laughing, then, aren't you?

Just so long as you don't end up like them next door.

Nag, nag, nag!

- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.

I'm not getting at you or anything, but have you ever done it with Gladys?

No, I never have.

- With anybody? - Not really.

What does that mean?

Well, you know. Not really.

Well, you're lucky.

It's not that much.

It's not that much without love.

Quiet, quiet, everyone. Bride's cutting cake.

Here you are, Dad.

- Hello. - Auntie Flo.

Oh, I know.

Yes, she won't be laughing tonight.

No, soon ends.

All right, Terry?

I hope you're saving some of that for the toast.

Don't worry, don't worry. Plenty more where that came from.

Who's got a second hand to their watch?

Here you are, Uncle Bob. Thanks. Now, how long?

It's got to be 60 seconds.

- Like a nice big bit of marzipan. - Quite nice, isn't it?

Right, Uncle Bob, time's up. 60 seconds.

Let's see, Uncle Bob.

- That's funny. - What's wrong?

Well, it's not quite perfect.

Oh, Gladys, it's lovely of you. Look at that, Harold.

Where did you get it from, Uncle Bob?

I got it special. I bought it from a bloke at work.

Let's have a look at the instructions.

You've got to heat it up with a cold clip.

Give it here.

Hey, love, have some champagne. Give us your...

- Ha-ha! Lovely. Look at that. - All right, leave that.

Have you got your speech ready? Now just concentrate.

I call upon the best man!

- What? - It's not you. It's not your place.

- It's him... Oh, damn. It's him. - Oh.

Ladies and gentlemen, I call on the best man

to propose the health of the bride and groom.

Ta. Ta.

Ladies and gentlemen, and those of you who've had the operation...

Er... I haven't made any notes for this speech

because, as you know, the wedding was somewhat unexpected.

But I'd like to say this.

Gladys, God bless her,

is by far the most beautiful bride I've seen today...

...and I'm not losing a brother, I'm gaining an extra bed...

...and I wish them health and happiness

in what will seem to be a very long life together.

The bride and groom.

The bride and groom.

Come, Martin.

It's hot in here.

- What? - Bloody hot in here.

Expect your speech did that.

Bloody hot in here. Frozen stiff in church.

I thought the service was beautiful. Don't suppose you noticed.

The last time you were in church, they sprinkled your head with water.

Here, what about this, eh?

Oh, oh, wait a minute.