Supernatural

You can't stop any of us.

We can't be killed, you stupid little chewtoys.

These things are smarter than you.

You don't have a clue how to kill 'em

or slow 'em down, and your plan is what,

go right at 'em?

We've been a little busy.

Hunting Leviathan.

You met dick yet?

I'd sooner swim through hot garbage than shake hands

with a bottom-feeding mutation like you.

I'd never work with you, Crowley.

I hate the bastard. Squash 'em all.

You need to see a fella named Frank Devereaux.

Bobby Singer sent us.

Or not. Who?

We just need you to get us further off the grid,

but keep us on the board.

Wipe all your old aliases.

Change your phones on a very frequent

non-schedule schedule, you understand?

You can't just look me in the face

and tell me you're fine.

- You want me to be honest? - Yeah.

I don't like lying to you.

You know, it doesn't feel right.

So, yeah, you got me there. I been climbing walls.

I know how that is.

Good night, sweetie.

Announcer: This is Nature Sounds'

"Sounds of Nature," Volume 4, "Soothing Seas."

What the hell?

Stay away.

Did you strip enough wire?

Yes, I stripped enough wire.

All right.

See? Told you.

Well, isn't this cozy?

Yeah.

Well, Motel 6 just ain't leaving the light on anymore.

Well, I'm taking page

out of Frank Devereaux's Bible on this.

Everybody's out to get you --

paranoia is just plain common sense.

Weeks, guys. Weeks.

We've been living with cold showers,

cold Hot Pockets, cold freaking everything.

I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in.

You guys get that, right?

How many big mouths are out there,

running card traces, like Chet,

or hunting us down God knows what ways?

No, now's not the time

to be laying our bed rolls out on the grid.

Not if we can help it.

That's just great.

This is stupid.

Our quality of life is crap.

We got Purgatory's least wanted everywhere,

and we're on our third "The World's Screwed" issue

in, what, three years?

We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already.

Someone's got to do it.

What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?

You think the world wants to end?

I think that if we didn't take its belt

and all its pens away each year

that, yeah, the whole enchilada

would have offed itself already.

Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son.

You're gonna hurt your head.

So, what's the guff?

Well, uh, there have been a rash of sightings

all over the southern pine barrens --

a strange, fast-moving, human-like creature.

Locals even have a name for it.

Bobby: The Jersey Devil?

I thought that was just local tall-tale crap.

The area's history of sightings

goes back more than two centuries.

Some accounts gave it bat wings, others horns,

a...a tail.

And, uh, oh, yeah, a horse's head.

The sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head.

Sounds kind of mixed-up.

Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot.

Well, mixed-up or not,

it sounds like it might just have a body count.

"Camping high season harshed by human burrito"?

Yeah.

Something hung a camper up in a tree,

then ate him alive right through his sleeping bag.

His wife hasn't been seen, either.

Plus, there have been four other missing persons

reported in the last three weeks.

State troopers -- get this -- are saying it's a rogue bear.

Yeah, of course, when was the last time

you saw a bear string up its own piñata?

Something's out there in the woods.

Hey, we're going honest to goodness wilderness hunting.

I haven't used my .30-30 in a while.

Okay, Davey Crockett,

well, safari's gonna have to wait till tomorrow

and after our suit-and-tie dance.

We'll make sure this is not just some backwoods crackhead

who likes to roll glampers.

What the hell's a glamper?

Sam?

High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi.

Back to nature, zero inconvenience.

That's idiotic.

Yeah.

Some people just don't know how to live.

Dean: So, Ranger Evans --

oh, uh, you can call me Rick.

Ranger Rick.

Uh, you were the one who found Mitchell Rayburn, correct?

The human burrito.

State police have it down as a bear attack.

Yeah, I read what the state police says.

That was no rogue brown.

Apparently, some others reported seeing something

a little, you know, weirder.

You know, I've been a ranger for 12 years.

Tell you the truth,

we have no idea what's out there.

Big. Lot of trees and whatnot.

Tell you this, though.

You got to respect mother nature.

You respect her, or she's gonna string you up,

and she'll eat your ass right through the Gore-Tex.

So you're thinking it's mother nature?

See, me and Phil, we've been finding, uh,

something's leftovers for weeks --

deer remains, badger,

missing pets.

Who's Phil?

Assistant Chief Ranger.

Come to think of it,

I haven't seen Phil in a couple of days.

He's supposed to call

from whatever station he's checking off.

Sam: But you think maybe

your assistant chief ranger might be missing?

I should probably report that.

Oh. Excuse us.

Well, you, uh...

Enjoy your lunch...

Ranger Rick.

So?

Well, I took a look at the cadaver --

what's left of it.

Not a happy camper.

Don't have any stats on a Jersey Devil,

but the bite radius on the vic's wounds --

it's too small for a Leviathan.

And he's still got a ventricle and some change,

so I doubt we're talking werewolf.

And a wendigo don't leave no scraps.

Hmm. Lunch?

Starving.

Hey! Uh, Brandon.

We grab a booth?

Hey, uh, douchewad, a hostess will seat you.

Do I look like a freaking hostess?

Do you want to look like a hostess?

That didn't really make sense, what you...said.

What was that?

I sure hope we don't get Brandon's section.

Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to big bird.

TDK slammer to Ken Doll.

And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle.

What is your problem?

You are my problem!

Oh, Brandon's got his flare all up in a bunch.

Yeah. There goes his 18%.

Anyway, the chief ranger --

I don't think he believes in the Jersey Devil.

Oh, by the way, did he seem a little, uh, stoned to you?

Ranger Rick? Yeah.

Definitely growing his own on the back 40

and smoking all the profits.

He did seem to think that there was something --

Oh, that is good sandwich.

What the hell did you get?

New pepperjack Turducken Slammer --

limited time only.

Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other.

Shouldn't play God like that.

Hey, don't look at me sideways from that --

that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay?

This is awesome.

Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds.

All right, anyways, um...

The ranger did seem to think

there was something out in Wharton Forest.